Blogservations by J.E. Braun

The Gadget Family

2011-09-10T15:23:00.002-04:00

Guest post written by Rolf Tate

My family’s all about the latest gadgets so this Christmas I want to make sure to get everyone something special. Last year I got an iPad and my son got a Playstation and my husband got…this little pen that also acts as a flash drive? Okay, so I’m not as good at the gifts as they are but I try! Anyway, I looked into satellite 911 the other day and I think I’m going to get us satellite tv for the house…it’s techy enough to satisfy everyone but it’s not so complicated I don’t understand it and I think that’s just enough to get me some cool mom points. I always go to Best Buy and try to get the guys there to explain all the stuff to me but I usually walk out more confused than I went in so I decided this year I’d do all the research myself to save the hassle. I know whatever I get my family they’re going to love but I really want to be over the top!

Finding a Few Extra Bucks

2011-08-24T15:31:00.003-04:00

I always wanted a cool job. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but how awesome would it be to be able to make a living as a mystery shopper, for instance? Sneaking up on unsuspecting people, critiquing their every move, twirling the tip of my handlebar mustache each time they walked away with a sinister, "I know something you don't know" look. I mean, a handlebar mustache! I don't even have one of those! See? It's cool already.

But I'm not very good at keeping secrets, so maybe that wouldn't be the job for me. More than a sinister, knowing look, I'd probably stand up at the table as the waiter went to fill my glass with Diet Coke instead of the Coke I ordered and yell, "NO! Don't do it! I'm your mystery shopper!" (thereby losing the 'mystery' aspect of mystery shopper).

Maybe I'd be better suited for work in a focus group...except that I work better alone and I have a pretty serious lack of focus. Still, I feel my opinion is very important, so why shouldn't everybody else agree? And that's what they're looking for in these things right? Important opinions. So what if I review every television show in existence with, "Well, it's no Lost," or my only means of critiquing food products is whether or not they are spicy enough to make my face spontaneously combust? That's valuable information!

No? Maybe you're right. Maybe those aren't for me. In the end, I guess making some extra money with cool jobs isn't in the cards. For now, I'll still have to work the ol' 9-5. Though, I did just see an ad for subjects for an online insurance study... Can't be worse than the experimental medical testing I subjected myself to, right?

Right?

Enjoying the animal part of the amusement park

2011-07-05T22:39:00.000-04:00

Guest post written by Christy Lewis

I've never been one that's been really into riding amusement park rides. I know that thousands of people ride them every day and there are all kinds of safety precautions taken to make sure that they're safe for all of the riders and people standing by. But I still just worry about that. So, instead I like to explore all of the things in amusement parks that are meant for scaredy cats for me, like these more tame rides and other exhibits.

I was doing some research on an amusement park that I'm taking my family to for a while in a few weeks and while I was doing that I saw the site cleartvbundle.com and switched over my internet to the service.

I'm going to spend some quality time with the animals that are in this certain section to the part. I love doing things like going to the zoo and just love animals period, so I think that's going to be a great thing for me to do! Maybe the rest of my family will be able to pull themselves away from the coasters a bit to see the animals too.

Time With Dad

2011-05-13T13:56:00.000-04:00

Guest post written by Nicole Zelter

Now that my father lives alone, I make an effort to go see him as often as I can. My dad is a little older now, and he currently lives in an apartment complex that is specifically tailored to senior citizens, which honestly is great for him. The apartment is just the right size for him, and he seems to really enjoy it. Sometimes my dad needs a little help with things around the house, so I go over there to give him a hand. He has difficulty driving these days, so I usually take him downtown to the stores and help him with his weekly groceries and anything else he needs.

This week, I have to help him find a new hearing aid. I've been looking at HearingAidsReviews and I think! I found some good options for him. When we go to the grocery store and go to pay his bills, I think we are going to swing by a local hearing center and get him taken care of. My dad has always been there for me, and I'm happy to be there for him now.

With Great iPower Come Great iResponsibility

2011-02-17T09:01:00.004-05:00

I'm not usually THAT guy.

You know, the one who has to have all the latest gadgets. And when I do get them, usually months, if not years, after everyone else, I get the less expensive one...the knockoff. You know what I mean. Like when I was a kid - all the kids would be playing baseball with a Louisville Slugger and I'd be playing with the Looeyville Slugger.

Or, to quote Coming to America, "They're McDonald's, we're McDowell's. They've got the golden arches, we've got the golden arcs. They have the Big Mac, we've got the Big Mc."

This all changed recently, though, with the release of the iPad. Now, granted, I am still a bit late to the game, but after previewing this thing in the Apple Store, there's no way I'm settling for second best. This thing's just got too much potential.

So, I took the dive. Headfirst. Most memory available, wi-fi AND 3G (or is it 4 now? I can't keep track). Either way, the iPad was mine.

Then, without warning, as I held this beautiful piece of technology in my hand, came the panic.

Oh my God. I need to PROTECT this thing at all costs. Look, it's not like I spent my life savings, but it wasn't exactly cheap either. And I know me. I'll turn a corner, swinging it in my hand and scratch the face on a wall. Or toss my keys onto it by accident and crack the face. Or drop it under the foot of a passing elephant (fine, rare, but it HAS been known to happen).

So, I started to research. And there it was: my savior - the iPad sleeve. I felt a calm come over me. The shaking stopped. The cold sweat began to evaporate. I put the shot glass down and capped the bottle of Jack (don't judge me, a man copes in his own way!). Laid out on the screen before me were all kinds of iPad sleeves: horizontal sleeves, vertical sleeves, even custom iPad sleeves.

I searched, I found, I bought. Quick, easy, and at least to purchase this type of protection you don't have to hide it under a bottle of hair spray and some Q-tips as you avoid looking the pharmacist in the eye.

Now, I walk around with my iPad with confidence. No scratches, no cracks.

But I still have to watch out for the elephant. The iPad sleeve is good, but it's not THAT good.

Going Out for Ice Cream

2011-02-09T15:00:00.001-05:00

Time for another guest post, folks! Enjoy!

The article written by Alonso Kramer

It may seem like a simple thing to do, but taking my kids out for an ice cream cone works wonders on easing their nerves for school. I have two young kids who always get very nervous for school. The anxiety they get is nothing like what we got when we were kids. Since my kids always get nervous, I try to calm them down with soothing activities.

One of the most fun things we do as a family to get ready for school is get ice cream. They love going to the ice cream store and picking out a new flavor of ice cream to try. My kids have made it their sole mission in life to try every flavor of ice cream possible. Before we leave for the ice cream shop, I make sure to set the home security alarm system (more info). This way, my kids can feel that they are out having fun without a mother who is stressing them out!

Getting an ice cream cone is a great way to sit down with kids and make them feel ready for school. I always give my kids a motivating talk for school to get them ready for the rest of the school year. They usually feel very motivated and ready to give it their best at school, even if their grades were not great.

Where There's a Will....

2011-02-04T09:00:00.003-05:00

The beauty of Facebook is you can keep in touch with friends who have spread out all over the country. Years ago, without the will to mount a massive letter-writing campaign, these contacts would have been lost forever. It is especially nice when this means of staying in contact allows you to help somebody far away.

Case in point: A friend of mine now lives in Austin, TX. He was going through a bad time in which a close relative was now on life support systems. Without a living will, the decision whether or not to terminate the systems rested with him. It was a huge burden, one he never wished upon anyone. So we began talking about finding a local law firm that dealt in living wills.

Through a little research (the internet is an amazing thing) and some recommendations, we were referred to an Austin Probate Lawyer, The Butler Firm. We immediately went to their website and discussed what they had to offer. Now, I'm no expert on the subject, so I'm not sure if being a Probate Lawyer automatically means they're an Austin Living Will Lawyer, but the two did seem to go hand in hand.

Well, The Butler Firm definitely did both. By all accounts they seemed to be a premier Austin Estate Attorney. From their website and the recommendations we'd received, my friend was sold. He felt like he had a huge weight lifted off his chest as he hung up the phone to go call them. I was happy to help a friend, maybe one who, years ago, I wouldn't have even been speaking to anymore because of geography. And, the whole thing got me thinking....

I've got kids, too. I never want them to have to make that decision. Maybe it's time to start researching a Living Will Attorney up here in NJ. We don't like to do it, but sometimes we need to think about the inevitable (a regular will) or the unthinkable (a living will) to protect our loved ones. I know what I have to do.

The One in Which I Try Out My French (Celle dans laquelle j'ai essayer mon français)

2011-01-04T08:19:00.002-05:00

Alors, j'ai pensé que j'allais écrire mon premier blog en français. Je l'avoue, je ne suis pas grande à parler français, mais je travaille là-dessus. Dans quelques mois, j'espère travailler sur la question par la méthode d'immersion. C'est exact. En France!

Je ne sais pas ce que possédait moi de Voyage en France. Quand j'ai planifié le voyage, je ne parlais pas un mot de la langue. Tout ce que j'ai prévu de faire dans le pays aurait eu besoin de traduction. Mais, je suis toujours prêt à relever un défi. Alors, j'ai commencé à apprendre la langue. Ceux d'entre vous qui sont à l'aise, sans doute pu le constater.

En attendant, mon patron a su que je prenais un voyage en France et a décidé que je pouvais transmettre certains documents importants pour notre bureau de Paris. Documents il a assumé je pouvais tranlsate en français.

Ugh.

Eh bien, je ne suis pas du genre à renoncer. Donc, j'ai embauché un traduction professionnelle d'une agence de traduction et - voilà! (Est-ce que le français?) Documents en français. Rien de plus simple?

Maintenant, si seulement je peux expliquer à mon patron pourquoi je devais payer quelqu'un d'autre pour les tranlate .... Souhaitez moi bonne chance!

The Emperor's New Shoes - If I Was an Emperor. Which I'm Not.

2010-12-28T12:43:00.003-05:00

Well, the rain shoes went over really well, except that the idea of calling my 5 year old daughter at home to rummage through my closet to get me Mommy's shoe size produced poor results. I give her credit, she tried, but she must have seen a UK size, which I then ordered as a US size.

Luckily Zappos makes it easy to exchange.

Unluckily, this means my wife gets to shop, unfettered.

And, in the process, I found out that I not only need, but want, new shoes. I was blissfully unaware of this, of course, until I noticed Sharon shopping online and, even though she was shopping for women's shoes, pairs of really nice-looking men's shoes started popping up.

The list of shoes I "need" is now up to 4 pair. I should probably narrow this down.

Probably.

So, Christmas is over and the spending continues. I mean, I got lots of nice new clothing. What good does it do to wear them with old ratty shoes, right?

Some Last Minute Shopping Might Be My Best Work Yet

2010-12-22T09:38:00.005-05:00

My wife is usually very easy to shop for. She likes a lot of different things - books, movies, games, clothing, shoes, perfume...hell, she'd even be excited to get cleaning products (she may be the only woman in the world who was genuinely excited, rather than insulted, to get a new vaccuum for Christmas one year). But this year, I ran into a bit of a stumbling block. Many of those fallbacks I'd normally resort to, she already has.

I spent quite a bit of time wracking my brain, trying to figure out just what to get. Got clothing? Check. Got boots? Check. Then it dawned on me...it's winter. Those Uggs won't last long in the rain and snow. So, it was off to see if I could find some rain boots. Now, I'm not talking big yellow construction site rain boots, or big black galoshes (heh, I love that word), but stylish, waterproof boots. Heck, before this idea hit me, I didn't even know a company like Burberry made rain boots. Yet, now I'm going to be a hero when she opens a pair of checked, or striped boots, or ankle rain shoes (yeah, I'm the brilliant guy who came up with a great idea, and can't for the life of me make a decision on WHICH ones to get!). Any suggestions would be appreciated! By the way, as you look through the page to help me figure it out, is there anybody else who is eerily reminded of the Leg Lamp in "A Christmas Story"? Or is it just me?

Either way, I found this Christmas to be a little more difficult than most. I wanted to get things JUST right. Only a couple of days left to find out if I hit the mark or not. Is Christmas supposed to be this nerve-wracking? What happened to, "Hey Honey, here's a cheese log. Merry Christmas!"

Ok, so maybe a cheese log was never really an acceptable gift...

Merry Christmas and G'day

2010-12-20T09:12:00.003-05:00

This weekend I finally got all my Christmas shopping finished. This isn't a major achievement, though. Admittedly, my wife does all of the shopping for the nieces and nephews and a majority of the shopping for our kids. I shop for her, whoever I have in the family grab bag, and get a few things on my own for the kids. So, nothing too challenging - except finding just the right thing for my wife. She likes everything, so it's not too bad, but you still want to hit the nail right on the head.

I did discover, however, that sales people are either especially friendly or especially testy this time of year. Sure, I might do things to make matters worse, like trying to buy all my gifts with the Australian Dollar, but can you blame a guy for wanting to save seven cents on the dollar? I mean, what exactly does Target have against Australian currency? If I didn't know better, I'd say they were racist...or ethnicist...continentist? What the heck would that be called, anyway?? Isn't the AUD just as good as the USD?

Reading back over what I just wrote, I'm starting to see why salespeople hate me.

But I digress.

The shopping is done (at full cost) and now comes the wrapping. Not rapping. I don't rap. You seriously DO NOT want to hear me rap. I sound like The Beastie Boys if they were all college professors. College professors that couldn't rap. Maybe that's redundant, but I wanted to make sure I was perfectly clear.

So, yeah..the wrapping. Let me just say this: The gift bag? BEST. INVENTION. EVER.

Seriously. Even I can throw a present in a bag, stuff some tissue paper in and call it a day.

And yet I bought this whole ream of wrapping paper.

I couldn't help myself. It was on sale for five Australian Dollars.

Dreams Aren't Too Helpful in Reality

2010-12-14T14:22:00.003-05:00

Months ago, I remember writing about a dream I had where my car broke down in Texas and I spent some time trying to find some Houston auto repair. Ironically, I have a friend travelling around the country right now and, wouldn't you know it, he's in Houston trying to find somebody to do an oil change and a brake job before he gets back on the road.

So, this friend remembers my blog and calls me.

At which point, I had to remind him that dreams are rarely accurate and I would therefore have a problem finding him a suitable repair shop. I did mention that if he noticed a purple and green monster running around in its underwear singing "Sweet Caroline" and hurling chili dogs at people, that my dream was coming true and might actually have been more of a premonition. If that happens, I told him I'd give him all the information on the repair shop he needed.

He (I'm pretty sure sarcastically) thanked me and I could hear the engine of his Acura TL wheeze and whine as he started it up. Oh well, I'm sure he can find someplace without my dream directions.

His next stop, I believe, is Dallas. I once had a dream I was eating some good BBQ in Dallas. Maybe I can point him in the right direction....

A Big Journey to a Big City

2010-12-14T14:03:00.003-05:00

New York City.

Is there a spot on the planet that is more associated with the Christmas season?

Ok, the North Pole. Fine, you got me there. But after that, it's none other than ...what? London because A Christmas Carol took place there? Fine. Bedford Falls, where George Bailey lived?

Look, can you just let me make my point?

New York and Christmas are practically synonymous (even though they really don't even remotely mean the same thing). You've got the tree and the skaters at Rockefeller Center, Santa Claus at Macy's, the toy display at FAO Schwartz, and the list goes on and on. Heck, it even starts on Thanksgiving as Santa shouts out his famous "Ho, Ho, Ho" at the end of the parade.

So, tomorrow, my family and I will embark upon a journey - a journey so memorable, my kids will hopefully remember it lovingly for the rest of their lives. We're going to Manhattan. Of course, the kids are most excited about riding a train, but they don't really understand the concept of NYC yet. My daughter is just shy of 6 years old and my son is 3.5. They think the train ride is going to be more Polar Express and less NJ Transit Northeast Corridor.

Either way, tomorrow we will wake up, slip on some comfortable shoes and head out the door. Then, most likely, we'll turn back around when the cold air hits us and put on the rest of our clothing.

Actually, it is supposed to be cold tomorrow with snow flurries. That should add to the ambience, but it also means our comfortable shoes need to be warm shoes because we'll be doing plenty of walking out there in the cold. We intend to go see the holiday train display at the Botanical Gardens, which is something I'd never heard about before, but am now looking forward to. From there, who knows? There's so much to do. I might actually be more excited than anyone else in my family.

Whatever we end up doing, by the time it gets dark, I want to work our way back to Rockefeller Center so my children can see the tree fully lit and the skaters making their way around the ice. Maybe we'll even kick our sneakers off in favor of some skates, too.

See, it's the holiday season. There is no better time for building memories. I want to make sure I'm a father who gives my children things to be nostalgic about when they're older. I want them to look back on fun, happy times. I know I won't always be here for them, but maybe a day like tomorrow will give them comfort and warm their hearts in years to come. And, God willing, maybe it will inspire them to do the same for their children many years from now.

Hopefully.

But for now, I just plan on enjoying a magical day in the city with my three favorite people: my wife, my daughter, and my son.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Keeping Warm this Winter

2010-11-24T09:42:00.002-05:00

Well, if you live in the Northeast today, the blustery weather reminds you that it's time to have a nice warm jacket on when you leave the house. To be clear,I mean the reasonable northeast, like New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Delaware...not the Siberian Northeast like Massachusetts and Maine, or even Buffalo which, while I know it's technically New York, might as well be Canada. The Siberian Northeast has probably been painfully aware of this outerwear need since, oh, about the week after Labor Day.

It's not all bad. I love the changing of the seasons. The cold, windy weather helps me appreciate the spring and summer when we can shed our coats and bask in the sun's warmth. Hmmm, kind of sounds like I molt.

I don't molt.

Often.

So, I mention all this because, of course, I was not prepared this morning. Sure I had a coat, but it was wide open and the wind basically sliced through the meager sweater, t-shirt, and jeans I was wearing to make all my bits and pieces downright frigid.

But, lo and behold, I just got a new car which came equipped with....HEATED SEATS.

Okay, next to a nice warm coat to keep your bits and pieces (I like that phrase) warm in the first place, there is NOTHING better than heated seats. Seriously, heated seats people!

No longer will I dread sitting down and waiting for my body heat to thaw the frozen tundra that is my car's leather seats. No, now, technology will do it for me.

See, because my car was a leftover 2010 that wasn't sold, I was able to get a great deal on a limited edition that has every upgrade known to man. In dash, GPS, backup camera, Sirius satellite radio, power moonroof, HEATED SEATS (did I mention that?), harddrive that stores 2500 songs, USB and iPod ports, mood lighting with 7 different colors, chrome wheels, keyless entry, SYNC voice activation (the car reads my text messages to me and allows me to control my music, phone, and GPS by voice), travel assistant that gets me movie times, traffic reports, and weather, HEATED SEATS, and on and on. Oh, and the car parallel parks itself! Yup. Tried it yesterday. Parallel parks itself. It tells me when it's driven alongside a spot it can fit into, then tells me where to go so it can park itself. Now, I happen to be a good parallel parker but this was too cool to pass up.

Can you tell I'm excited?

Either way, the fact is, I'll never fear the cold seats again, but if you're not me, it doesn't hurt to have a nice warm coat either.

Heated seats. What could be better than...

Oh.

Just found out my brother in law has air conditioned seats for the summer.

I'm SO behind the times.

2010 Mid-Term Elections

2010-11-03T14:46:00.002-04:00

Once again, I know my posts have been few and far between (at least personal ones) but I felt the need to write today. Yesterday, November 2, 2010, something happened that many of us have been waiting for since Obama was elected: Republicans gained control of the House of Representatives. Many Conservatives saw through the - for the lack of a better word - bunk the media was feeding us about Obama. We fought through the baseless claims of racism. We argued our points though Liberals tried to paint us as those that would have grandma die without insurance, or children starving in the streets. We looked at the legislation that was being shoved down our throats and pointed out the waste and fraud. We pointed out the logic in piling up unsustainable debt. We railed against saddling our children and grandchildren with debt that they can't have a say on. All the time we were ridiculed.

You just want the rich to get richer! they'd say.

When was the last time a poor person gave you a job? we'd say.

You just want people to die without coverage! they'd say.

How do you treat 50 million new people without adding doctors and nurses that are already overburdened? we'd say.

You racists just don't want Mexicans in the country! they'd say.

We have no problems with Mexicans who came here legally, besides, if we grant amnesty to this 20 million without fixing the problem first, 20 million more will file right in behind them! we'd say.

You just want poor people to starve to death! they'd say.

No, we believe in helping those that can't help themselves (elderly, disabled, vets, for instance), but not those that can but choose not to. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime! we'd say.

Racists. Haters. Mean-spirited. Greedy. Those are the words that were hurled at us. The Tea Party was painted as neo-nazis, while it was actually far-LEFT organizations like LaRouche (visible on the signs for anybody looking close enough) calling Obama Hitler. "They called me the N word and spit on me!" cried one African-American Congressman, who was later forced to recant his story when video evidence showed it never happened.

Through it all the Right was mocked. Ridiculed. Called "extreme" while our own President ignored the rule of law (GM and Chrysler $$ was given to the government and unions first, while the investors...the ones who risked their own $$ and by contractual law get the lion's share in a bankruptcy were bullied into taking next to nothing). Called "racist" while the President of our country admitted on national television that he didn't have the facts in a situation regarding an old professor friend of his but went on to say the cops in the case acted stupidly because he assumed the white people treated the black person in a racist manner. That in itself is racist. Called out of touch for wanting to support our Constitution, which by the way is what the President swears, as his primary duty, to uphold and defend in his oath. And the list goes on.

Today, though, we are called one thing: winners. The House is now under Republican control. Gone is the ideologue Nancy Pelosi (whose approval ratings among Democrats anywhere but her hometown were abyssmal by the way). Now there can be a balance of power once again. Does anybody remember that? A balance of power? Our government was designed with checks and balances, but they disappeared with one party rule. And don't let anyone fool you - they'll call the Republicans obstructionists who wouldn't let anything pass, but the truth is the Democrats had enough members to pass any given law at any given time - but they didn't want to take the sole blame when things went bad, so they wanted Republican votes to claim 'bi-partisanship'. They used tricks, deception, back-room deals, and lack of transparency (all the things they swore off when Obama came into power) to get their bills passed.

Now, many will say that this is the way things will remain in Washington, just with different people involved. I don't think so. I think the people of this country spoke last night. We spoke loud and clear. We don't care WHO you are..or what letter is next to your name. If you pull this crap, you're gone. Period. This is why Lisa Murkowski was defeated in the primaries in Alaska (though it looks like she's leading the general election as a write-in because Democrats can vote for her), this is why Rand Paul won, Sharon Angle won the primary, Christine O'Donnell in Delaware. Were some of them the best candidates? No...though the media did their best to make them out to be worse than they were (example: in the debate with Coons in Delaware, O'Donnell patronized him when he said that separation of church and state was in the 1st Amendment of the Constitution....the media went nuts about O'Donnell not knowing separation of church and state was in there. Newsflash, separation of church and state is nowhere in the constitution. It says Congress can make no law establishing a religion or hindering the practice of one's religion, but separation of church and state is completely based on case law). But the point is, it sent a message. Republicans had a clear win in Delaware if Castle won the primary, but he was pretty much voting the liberal agenda. They said we know this hurts our chances of taking the Senate, but we're not putting you back in.

This accountability will continue to be expected. The citizens of this country are energized like I've never seen in my short time on earth and the politicians, especially those that rode this wave in, know it. They will look at themselves as one-termers, caring less about re-election and lobbyists, than about passing laws that are in the best interest of the American people.

It won't happen overnight and some of it will be painful as they try to curb spending, but there's only one way out of this mess and it ain't pretty. The American people now need the wherewithal to be patient as the things they voted for take effect. I wish congratulations and good luck to all the new Senate and Congress-elects. You have a tough road ahead.

But remember: we'll be watching.

Running in the Fall

2010-10-29T11:11:00.002-04:00

Guest post time!

The Author of this post is Cheryl Martinez

There is absolutely no better time to enjoy a run than during the fall. As soon as the leaves start to change and their air gets a crisp feeling, I know it's time to start taking advantage of my favorite fall activity: running. Running is always a great way to get exercise and enjoy the outdoors, but fall is by far the best time to do it. Winter is too cold; spring is often rainy, and summer is always very hot. The fall offers perfect running temperatures and running over crunchy leaves offers extra satisfaction.

I enjoy running alone, or with friends. There are often a wide assortment of races sponsored by any number of organizations in the fall. These races usually give money to a good cause, and are a great way to give back and offer some variety in your running routine. Of course, whether I'm going to a race or just on a short run around my neighborhood, I always set my home security alarm from www.Home-alarm-systems.com/ before embarking on a run, as a safety precaution, in case people notice I'm leaving to go running. Then, I'm free to have a clear mind and truly enjoy the run. Running is a great way to stay in shape, and running in the fall lets me enjoy the cool temperatures and the gorgeous scenery before winter sets in.

Time Square Ads

2010-10-12T15:02:00.000-04:00

Guest post written by Judy Jones

My husband and I had the grandkids for the weekend, so we took them to Times Square in Manhattan. We figured they would love the big lights and get really excited over the M&M Store, The Pop Tart store, and the Hersey’s store. I think we did a good job planning this trip out, because the kids really loved it.

As grandparents, we tend to spoil our grandkids and today was no different. We got the children candy and Pop Tarts galore, and we were their heroes for the day. We knew that we shouldn’t give them too much sugar, but I’m of the mind that everything’s OK in moderation.

While taking the kids around in Times Square, we saw a few ads for www.MiracleEarHearingAids.net. It was crazy luck, because we’re both in need of hearing aids, and we figured with this kind of ad this brand must be particularly good. I think we’re going to look into it this week.

In all, we had a nice outing in Times Square. The kids were very well behaved, and I really hope that we get the opportunity to take them out again soon.

New York City -- An Inspiring Place for Professional Writers

2010-10-06T08:32:00.000-04:00

Guest Post....

Thanks to Darwin Barton

Being a freelance writer I often travel to different locations for my job. My most recent business trip was to New York City to cover a piece for an exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Business trips always take a lot of preparation and planning on my part. I prefer to get in a bit of sightseeing if I have time whenever I travel. By planning my itenarary carefully, I can usually mix in some fun with the business.

I always pack my bag (just one carry on bag to avoid checking) the night before I fly out in order to avoid being rushed. Before I leave for the airport I always set my home security alarm from www.totalalarmsystems.com to give myself peace of mind while I am away. My neighbor also checks my house while I am away.

New York City is an amazing city for fun and inspiration. I can see why so many writers fall in love with the bustle and fast pace of city life. After spending a week there I found myself not wanting to leave. I can definitely see myself spending more time there in the future for business and vacation. Any writers out there who have writers block should spend some time in the big city for insight and motivation!

Good Chinese Takeout

2010-09-29T15:40:00.000-04:00

Guest post written by Roger Lewis

I had heard them say on Curb Your Enthusiasm that you couldn't get any good Chinese food in Los Angeles. I grew up in California and kind of always took offense to that but then I moved to NYC after I graduated from college a few years ago.

When I went apartment hunting I actually found a place that was above a Chinese restaurant and it made me think about that episode. After I got my apartment set up with a DIRECTTV internet combo deal I rewatched that episode and thought that maybe Larry David was right.

So I decided to give it a try after I invited some friends over to check out my place. Well, after doing that little bit of research and eating at a few other Chinese places in the city I do have to agree with him and say that the Chinese food in NYC is far superior to it in LA.

IÕ'e been stopping at that place a lot and I think they're starting to recognize me there. It's amazing how far some good food can go to improve your day

Where Does the Time Go?

2010-09-27T11:16:00.001-04:00

So, the summer has come and gone. Didn’t notice? Yeah, I know. It seems with each passing year, the seasons change more quickly, the days and months lapse into one another, and your own personal history becomes a blur. Though that last part could be because of large amounts of alcohol.

Possibly.

But here we are, on the verge of winter.

“What?” you say. “Winter? It just became fall!”

True, true. But I remember last year, a co-worker walked into my office the day after labor day and said, “Now, before you know it, it will be the holidays.” That seems like yesterday. Not only has it been the holidays, but the spring and summer have now flown by, too. The NFL season doesn’t help…the weeks fly by. I remember what seems like days ago waiting in anticipation for the season to begin and here we are wrapping up week 3 already. So, yeah, we’re on the verge of winter.

Before we know it, I’ll be shivering when I step out of the shower in the morning (it’s already pitch black out), I’ll be layering my work clothes, and I’ll be putting the tire chains on the car.

Sure, I don’t really need tire chains in NJ, but it illustrates my point. Plus, I found a site that offers tire chains for under $100 that are easy to install. For the right price, I’ll buy tons of different things I don’t need. It’s like my mother with QVC. She seems to think that “5 easy payments” means “free”. This is why she’s got 7 emergency car jumpers/flashlights, some clothing inspired by some celebrity or another, and 3 no-name laptops, among other wonderful treasures.

The weather here in the northeast has finally turned a corner. Gone are the 90-100 degree days. Soon, I’ll be wondering how it is we ever wear shorts outside. This whole year when I kept putting off getting my snow blower fixed because I had ‘plenty of time’? Yeah, that’s suddenly becoming a priority. In fact, I think the stores are already decorated for Christmas. Sad but true.

Yep. Time flies and if you don’t look quickly, it will pass you by. That’s why I try so hard to pay attention to every minute of my children’s lives. I don’t want to be looking one day going, wow, when did they become teenagers? What did I miss? No, I want them to know I’ve been there every step of the way. I never let them forget how proud of them I am, and how much I love them. Even when we live long lives, time is short. I’m a firm believer in making the most of every minute we have. Sure, sometimes my wife would question whether watching a movie filled with fart-jokes is really ‘making the most of every minute’, but c’mon, to each his own, right?

In the end, we need to be happy. That should be everyone’s goal….happiness.

Though, if I have to start using tire chains, I’m SO not going to be happy.

Saved by the Bell

2010-09-24T13:17:00.001-04:00

Guest post written by my buddy Keith Kramer

My favorite teen show on television is Saved by the Bell. This show has been around for a while, but I still enjoy watching it. I watch it every morning on direct tv when the kids are getting ready for school. My favorite character is Zack Morris. He is kinds like the class clown. He is also very good looking and dates many girls. They always have some kind of situation that needs to be solved. There is a guy named Screech on the show, and he acts like a dork. It is very funny, he does not comprehend much and make s some silly mistakes. There is a girl named Jessi, and she is always talking about women having equal rights. She is the smart one who makes straight A's in all her classes on all her assignments. The principal of the school is named Mr. Belding. He is always being fooled by the kids in one way or another. The kids are always in trouble for something. I like this show because it has a lot of humor. There is drama and excitement. It is a really good show and I plan on watching it for a long time.

Signature Safety, LLC - MY Company!

2010-09-21T10:53:00.005-04:00

You know, here I started a business and I don't think I've properly utilized this blog in promoting it. Maybe it's because I'm just getting back into the groove of blogging, butI guess now's the time.

To start with, a colleague of mine and I created Signature Safety, a full service environmental, health, and safety consulting service. We've brought in a close group of trusted and highly qualified professionals to provide top level service to our clients. Our clients range from construction contractors, to warehousing and distribution facilities, to other consultants who don't have the necessary experience or knowledge base to perform certain training courses. We offer training, site audits, written programs, program management, incident investigation, and full time site personnel among other things.

To date, it's been very successful. Wildly more successful than my partner and I imagined it would be...which has complicated things at times since we both still work full time jobs, but we're adjusting to it. I've always wanted to run my own business, but never knew what it is I would do. Writing my novel was the closest thing to it, but that didn't go the way I'd hoped. So here I am..and loving it.

We have a website, which I linked to above, but it's www.signaturesafety.net. It is, really, our main..if not only vehicle of promotion right now. All our business has been through word of mouth (and we do have an ad coming up in a tradeshow magazine in October)..but other than that, it's the website, Linked In, and Twitter.

I just saw something I found interesting and may put it to use now with my website. It's a site that allows you to develop a free link exchange. The truth is, there are other, related businesses out there that are looking for more exposure, too. Why not work together? The site allows you to build links to other sites and those sites, in turn, may link back to you. These free links are really network building at its best. And, as I mentioned, it's free...you can't beat the price (and believe me, as a small business owner, price is important).

Our client base is rapidly expanding, so our plan is to - in the near future - find somebody capable of running our day to day operations. That person is going to need to be knowledgeable in our field, have some type of sales experience, be an excellent manager (with great project and time management skills), and be able to communicate with people at all levels. Tall order, huh?

I'll keep you guys posted on this as the business grows, but in the meantime, check us out at our site and refer us if you know somebody who might be in need of our services. We are based in the PA, NJ, NY area, but can be anywhere we're needed to be.

That's it for my shameless self-promotion for today! Look for more updates in the future!

I'm Sorry, but 38% of You Are Out of Your Everlovin' Minds

2010-09-17T16:12:00.001-04:00

Today I read the results of a poll that stated that 62% of Americans think Congress is doing a poor job. This led me to wonder….who the hell are the other 38%?? Seriously, Republican or Democrat, Liberal or Conservative, who thinks Congress is doing a good job?? Is 38% of the population now actually a member of Congress?

This led me to Tweet.

Not in the ‘make-a-noise-like-bird’ sense, but in the more commonly used sense of sending a message via Twitter. It said:

Poll shows 62% think Congress doing a bad job. In related news, 38% think Congress is a woman from the Congo.

Get it? Congress? Like tigress is a female tiger? It’s dry humor people…oh, forget it. In the spirit of the upcoming Yom Kippur, let me quote Eddie Murphy’s old white Jewish barbershop patron in Coming to America “Ehhh…What do you know from funny, you bastards.”

I then followed up my previous tweet with one inspired by the beginning of this blog: Poll shows 62% think Congress is doing a bad job. Related poll shows 38% now are members of Congress.

See, sometimes it takes a little honing…a little fine-tuning...to really get your funny on. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

I think it was like 3 weeks.

Rome is a little comedy club in Freehold.

So, that all being said, who DOES think Congress is doing a good job? If you’re on the right, you feel they’re a power hungry group of people ramming unwanted legislation down the American people’s collective throat for personal gain. If you’re on the left, you feel Congress isn’t passing enough sweeping legislation because Republican Congressman won’t sell you their vote anymore. So, I ask again, who are the 38%?

Is it you? Because if it is, I want to know what makes you think they’re doing anything good. Then I want your address so I can come to your house and beat some sense into you with a Buzz Lightyear doll and a Hello Kitty backpack (sorry, those were the two closest things I could find and, no, they’re not mine. Not the Buzz Lightyear doll anyway.).

So off to Twitter I go, to await some type of response. Not sure I’ll get one. Then again, maybe it’s because that 38% doesn’t use Twitter. I mean, they MUST be cut off from the real world, right?

Going to the Movie Theater

2010-09-09T15:29:00.000-04:00

Guest post of the week by Deangelo Spencer

My husband and I love to go to the movie theater. We enjoy seeing movies on the larger screen and the excellent sound that we can't achieve at home. It is always a fun night out and a great way to spend an evening. It gives us something to do for the day, then we can spend the next few days discussing the movie. It's a great way to connect with each other. Sometimes just sitting there and holding hands can keep us close. Even if we don't talk during the movie, just being close is enough to recharge us. We love to share popcorn and sometimes our hands touch as we both grab a handful at the same time. As corny as it sounds, it makes us feel like teenagers just dating again. Since movies are a few hours and we normally have dinner before or afterward, we always make sure to set our ADT fire and home security alarm before going to the movies. If we didn't, I would not be able to relax to enjoy myself during the movie.

Pizza Makes Everything Better

2010-09-08T10:57:00.002-04:00

I am currently sitting at a facility which is not my workplace, but is a sister company I was requested to go to to provide training. I went up early because the time they'd alotted to complete the class wasn't nearly enough, so I hoped to start earlier. 8:30 start. Yeah. Good idea.

I made the trek up Route 9, the NJ Turnpike, across the George Washington Bridge - sitting in tons of traffic, but managing to arrive at 830, just a few minutes behind my intended advanced schedule.

It's now 11am.

Training hasn't started yet. Some emergency came up and they're welding a piece of equipment back together...which is understandable...but it doesn't change the fact that I have very limited capability to get anything done for my regular job here and have more than enough to do there.

So I sit and wait while nobody has a remote sense of urgency about the situation.

Have you ever had a task you didn't want to perform, but knew you needed to do it, so you made all the arrangements, went out of your way, and was all set to go, only to have to wait and wait and wait because the other party you were counting on just couldn't hold up their end of the bargain? (For all of you ladies screaming "Yes!", give your husbands a break, that happens to everyone at some point!).

Well, that's where I am. Frustrated, annoyed, bored.

I've looked at every picture on the conference room wall two or three times. Not as much fun as it sounds. The fourth time promises to be a hoot.

Ugh.

Well, at least there's free pizza.

Trick or Treat...or Both

2010-08-30T13:48:00.004-04:00

Ahh..the dogs. So, Lily and Lola are doing well. Seriously, while at times it gets frustrating, we have to remind ourselves that they are still puppies, still learning the ropes. Of course, if digging holes in my backyard or spreading my mulch around the patio were ropes they needed to learn, I give them an A+.

Oh, and pooping. Yeah, they do fairly well with that one too.

I'm trying to train them and, if it were up to me, I'd have them completely hopped up on doggy treats as I tried to get them to understand things like Sit, Paw, and Mow the Lawn. However, I have to restrain myself from just overloading them with treats (See "pooping").

Truth is, so many treats are apparently not good for your dog - Gluten seems to be a nightmare for them, in particularly. Of course, everybody has an opinion, from the 65 year old man at Petco to the 64 year old man in the next aisle at Petco (ok, not such a wide population sample there), but I seem to think the anti-Gluten people may be onto something.

I did just stumble across Nylabone's Nubz Dental Treats. I got a $3.50 coupon in my Costco coupon book (which is a GREAT price...and if you get it, hurry, it was valid 8/19 to 9/12, while supplies last!) and figured I'd give it a shot. Well, the dogs love them and it makes their breath smell less like an animal that sticks its tongue in some unsavory places. Apparently, the treats are made with real chicken, no salt, preservatives or plastic....plastic??? ...added. And they're gluten-free. I got 18 large bones that are perfect to break and split between the two dogs.

The dogs like them so much, I no longer have to give them one treat per task they perform, but rather, I promise them one and they make the bed, wash the dishes, clean my bathroom, and roll over and play dead. Oddly, my wife also rolls over and plays dead if she cleans my bathroom. Hmmm.

In all honesty, Lily is really progressing, while Lola looks at me like, "You want me to do WHAT?" With Lily, I get Sit, Lay Down, Paw, Come Here. With Lola I get Stare at Me with a Dumbfounded look on your Face.

Hey, you have to start somewhere!

Keep your eyes peeled for more doggy updates. I know, you can't wait, huh?

Why Do Bathing Suits Have Pockets?

2010-08-27T07:58:00.003-04:00

Look, I'm all for a little pouch in a bathing suit where maybe you can put some money, but why....WHY...do they put pockets big enough to store things like, say, your phone? I mean, can I really be counted on to NOT place electronic equipment into the pocket before going for a swim in the ocean?

Me, the guy who ran his iPod through the washing machine? No. Of course I can't. Which is why I found myself at Verizon Wireless last Saturday buying a new phone.

Now, I will say this about Verizon Wireless: They really know how to you in the ...whoops, sorry, my bleep button didn't work. Anyway, I understand that the whole reason I had to buy a new phone was due to my stupidity...and, yes, I realize I could have bought insurance, but really, who expects to go for a swim in the ocean with their phone? I mean, remove that one little event from the equation and the insurance is completely unnecessary.

So, since I got my phone just this past February and signed a 2-year contract, I was not eligible for any discount. Why should they give me one? They know I HAVE to stay with them and get a phone otherwise I have either a) a phone plan with no phone or b) a $145 early termination fee (which when tacked on to the cost of a new phone at some other provider would have been more than what I ended up paying).

So, there I was, fuming over the whole situation. I needed two things: a phone with a keyboard, since this phone is primarily used for texting with my business partner and my employees and a phone where I didn't have to pay for a data package (internet access). See, my company already gives me a Blackberry that is connected to the internet 100% of the time, so I really don't need to pay for it on another phone. This left me one option: An LG Cosmo.

The cost? $19.99!!

If you sign a 2-year contract.

Full retail?

$189.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Luckily it went on the Signature Safety, LLC. Amex, but by the time I bought the phone and the case, it cost me $235. Are you in' kidding me?

Oh, and since I signed the contract more than 30 days ago, I am NOT ELIGIBLE to buy insurance for this phone. How do you like that load of crap?

Guess I better cut holes in the bottom of the pockets in my bathing suit so I'm not tempted to store my phone there. Though, with my luck, I'll forget, drop the phone in and only remember the holes when I hear it smash on the ground.

Damn you Verizon Wireless and the makers of my bathing suit. DAMN YOU!

An Ongoing Fascination for Forensic Files

2010-08-27T07:43:00.001-04:00

This guest post from Margaret Mills

There's something about true crime shows that lures me to watch them. The disbelief I feel during the episodes, the sympathy for the families, and the horror of what people are capable of has always made me keep watching. While I enjoy every variety of true crime show, fiction or non-fiction, my long running favorite is Forensic Files.

I began watching Forensic Files when I first had my satellite dish installation for my home. The show introduced me to a whole new branch of science that was more fascinating than anything I had encountered before. The stories were spellbinding and the quest for justice by forensic scientists was inspirational.

I love learning about the new forensic techniques investigators use to catch murderers. I love seeing the fatal slip by the bad guy that reveals his crime to forensic scientists and convicts him in a court of law. It's one of the most satisfying feelings in the world to know that out of all the tragedy the family goes through, there are people out there who care enough and are knowledgeable enough to make sure the bad guy pays for what he's done.

I have been a fan of Forensic files for years and I plan to stay that way. I watch the show whenever it comes on and I'm always eager to learn about the latest mystery solved and the way science helped it to be solved.

Breaking Bad Nothing but Good

2010-08-24T08:48:00.002-04:00

A guest-blog post for you today, though I might be writing on here later to tell you about my swim in the ocean this past Saturday, during which I was accompanied by my cell phone. Oh, and the subsequent Verizon experience. Ugh.

Thanks for the guest post by Bradly Watkins

AMC's Mad Men may get all the press, but I don't think there's a better show on television than Breaking Bad. It's been barely a month since the season 3 finale, and I'm already eagerly awaiting season 4. Bryan Cranston is outstanding as Walter White, the chemistry teacher turned meth producer. I knew he was funny from watching him in Malcolm in the Middle, but he's so fantastic in Breaking Bad, in a dramatic role, that I can hardly believe it's the same actor.

Aaron Paul, the actor who plays Jessie Pinkman, is just as good. I wasn't too enthused about his character when the series began, but I think I care more about him now than Walter White. He's such a likable bad guy, a drug dealer with real touches of humanity, such as his soft spot for children, that I find myself rooting for him to get away with the terrible things he does.

Every week has me on pins and needles waiting to see if this is the week everything is going to fall apart. I'm lucky that I've got sattelite tv in Pennsylvania instead of AT&T; no risk of AMC getting dropped for me. I prefer my drama on the screen, not off.

Dog Days of Summer

2010-08-20T09:25:00.004-04:00

I know if I'm going to keep my readers, I have to intersperse these guest posts with actual rants and ramblings from yours truly, so here it goes. I do enjoy writing, so maybe I'll get back on track here since I've shelved writing novels in favor of opening and running my own business.

Most people try to aim for themes to their blogs, and I guess I've got opportunities to do just that. Should it be a blog about writing? Should it be a blog about starting and running a business? Do I stick with politics and current events? Occupational Health and Safety? What about raising and supporting a family or being a new dog owner? Maybe it can be about traditional Finnish dance (a lesser-known hobby of mine)? Cheese?

I like cheese.

Or I can continue to ramble on about nothing. It worked for Seinfeld. Mr. Braun, I knew Jerry Seinfeld and you, sir, are NO Jerry Seinfeld.

I guess, in the end, it will be whatever comes to mind. I'll stick to my observations, both physical and philosophical. I will post random pictures of people on escalators:

By the way, that's at CitiField in NY.

Geez. The things I do to keep you people interested.

Did I mention we adopted two dogs? Lily and Lola, a yellow and a black lab mix, though they look pure-bred. They're both very good for 4.5 month old puppies and man are they big! I'll be honest: I'm a little nervous; I've seen Clifford. I know what can happen. One minute you've got a dog with big paws, the next minute you've got a dog wearing the roof of your house as a hat. The biggest problem is that Clifford the Big Red Dog never really showed you the realities of such a situation. I mean, there is no ShopRite bag that can hold the poop coming out of a dog that size...and even if there was, who's going to clean that up? Me? Hell no.

All, I'm saying is that these dogs better stop growing at about...room-size. House-size is just stupid.

Last night was a successful experiment in bringing them to the in-laws house, so that we don't have to rush home to feed them and let them out. They were very well-behaved in the car and at the house. They played very nicely with the in-laws' Shih Tzu. When I got there after work, all I heard was how good they were!

Then I went outside, where I found a bed of huge, prize Impatiens trampled. I was hoping it was possible the Shih Tzu had done it, so I put him up on one of the flowers and he just sat there perched up in the air on the petals. Nope, looks like it was my dogs. Damn. I did my best to fix it, but couldn't get to the duct tape before my mother-in-law came outside. Luckily, though upset, she decided to cut the trampled ones and put them in a vase.

Fine. Maybe that was a SLIGHTLY better idea than duct tape. Slightly.

Anyway, so goes the world of raising puppies.

I'm sure it won't be the last time I need duct tape.

Kitchen Cabinets

2010-08-17T10:48:00.001-04:00

Kitchen Cabinets

I appreciate the guest post, Jamie Guy

When we bought our house, it was obvious that one thing had to be replaced and that was the kitchen cabinets. They were 70's style cabinets with dirt and scratches all over them. Not only that but the people before us had obviously installed them themselves and left huge patches of dry wall mud that had never been sanded down or textured. They painted right over it and managed to slop paint on the sides of the kitchen cabinets.

Even though my husband is very handy, we decided we would remove the cabinets ourselves and get the walls ready for professional installers. We removed hinges from the doors with a screwdriver and then my husband got the pry-bar out and pulled the rest of the cabinets out.

Once that was complete, we sanded down the drywall with a drywall sander and finished the texturing with a simple can of spray texture. Finally, we were ready for the professionals to take over and put the cabinets in.

Our prep worked saved us money and allowed the pros to come in and have the Sears kitchen cabinets installed in one day. They did a great job and it was worth the effort, time, and money to have a new kitchen in our new home.

Short Laughs

2010-08-11T15:43:00.001-04:00

Time for another guest blog folks! Enjoy!

Guest post written by Joe Dansen

I have a very short attention span, so the short-format comedic videos like on Funny Or Die and other websites are some of my favorite ways to pass away the time with an internet browser.

One of my favorite shows on TV that uses this format is the “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” which is basically made up of a bunch of comedy sketches cast with people that look like they walked off the street and shouldn’t necessarily be on TV. Clips are also easy to watch on with wild blue internet service because

But unfortunately, the late-night show just finished up its fifth and final season. There were a lot of unknown regulars along with big names that made guest appearances like Paul Rudd, Josh Groban, Will Forte and John C. Reilly.

However, I’m able to rest easily because the legacy lives on with the Reilly spinoff “Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule,” in which the veteran actor plays a an absent-minded supposed doctor that has an early morning (like 3 a.m. early) show on public access TV. It definitely has the public access TV feel and is hilarious.

Tickets, Please!

2010-08-10T10:54:00.003-04:00

So tonight I'm going to a Mets game. Make no mistake, I'm not going because I want to watch my sorry excuse for a favorite baseball team play, I'm going because I really wanted to see their new stadium the first year they played in it.

And time is running short.

So I bought a few tickets so my buddy and I could go. It's not often I splurge on tickets. Frankly, ticket prices can be astronomical, but sometimes you just find the right game or concert that's worth the price. Or, better yet, your team sucks, like the Mets, and they're practically paying you to take the tickets. (NJ Nets anyone?)

Oh, and I guess you could charge whatever you want for a Miami Heat game this year. In case any of you missed it, they got LeBron. Hell, I know that and I don't even like the NBA and only am vaguely aware of just what a LeBron is. What?? Michael Jordan doesn't play for the Chicago Bulls anymore?

No, it's pretty much the NFL for me. With a dash of MLB, if the Mets are playing well. I do enjoy going to a game, though, so tonight should be fun. We bought the cheap seats, figuring by the second inning, with the Mets playing as poorly as they are, we should be able to move our way down to, possibly, the dugout. We'll put back a few beers and some of the good food I hear they have at the stadium and squint our eyes to see if we can pretend we're watching a different team. If that doesn't work, we'll drink more beer. Squint. Drink more beer. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Granted, because I live down in central Jersey, I'll be forced to sleep on my friend's recliner with a ratty blanket and a stack of DVD cases for a pillow, but some things are just worth it.

Right?

So, Where the Hell Have I Been?

2010-08-06T12:24:00.002-04:00

So, you may have noticed a lot of guest posts lately. As you can probably tell, they are from advertisers. Feel free to read them if you like and feel free not to if you don't like. Really, what control do I have over what you do anyway? Either way, I felt I owed you a little bit of a personal post.

You may remember me as The Angry Blogger, or from my second job as an infomercial audience plant (no, not the guy that gets called on camera but is really an actor..as an actual plant: fern, palm tree, cala lillies, you know, whatever they needed to make the studio look nice). Back before I took my sabbattical, I did a lot of political blogging. It was good for the promotion of my novel (any publicity is good publicity) and, at the time, I felt that people were really only getting one side of the story because our news outlets refused, and still do refuse, to report anything that could cast the President in a bad light. I was angry because any mention of not agreeing with something President Obama said made you a racist, a war-mongerer, a rich person trying to keep everybody else down.

Well, if you know me, you know I'm not a war-mongerer, though I whole-heartedly support our troops and believe in once a decision has been made to go to war, you do it 100% otherwise you're just endangering the lives of our young men and women; I'm not some right-wing ideologue (I never voted for George W. Bush, I support gay marriage, and believe in a woman's right to choose - however, I don't support people who use abortion as birth control or who try to hamper the free speech of pro-life groups who'd like to offer an alternative to some of these lost young girls) and those who know me would laugh uncontrollably at me being a racist. It's just not even remotely true. Oh, BTW, I'm not rich.

In the past 6-8 months I have been encouraged by the amount of people opening their eyes to the truth in this country. It could be somebody who's completely foregone the tax and spend policies of the Democrats or the person who just simply understands that Obama isn't PERFECT. It is undeniable there has been an awakening. Maybe it began with healthcare and, if anybody pays attention to the news, you can see that many of the things we Conservatives were warning about that bill are coming to pass: Greater costs, still many left uncovered, rationing (Berwick, the man Obama chose to oversee Medicare and Medicaid said that "It's not a matter of whether or not we will ration healthcare, but if we will ration with our eyes open."), increased work loads for doctors who are expected to take less money, no increase in the number of doctors while millions are added to coverage, so on and so on. Yet, we were called ridiculous, racist, paranoid, right-wing lunatics.

Well, the truth is, in poll after poll, more than half the nation is against this healthcare bill and more than half favor repeal. Missouri just overwhelmingly voted it down (71%) and Virginia's lawsuit against it was allowed by the courts to move forward. During the battle, the Obama administration swore up and down (to the point of belittling George Stephanopoulos on national TV) that the individual mandate to have health insurance and associated fines were NOT a tax - until they were forced to respond to lawsuits against it in which their brief said, in short, well, you can't stop us because you states can't impede our right to tax you. Which is it?

And it goes on and on. Arizona passes a law to help protect its citizens (ranchers have been murdered on their own property, 3 border guards are assaulted each day, Phoenix leads the world in kidnappings (related to the human smuggling 'industry'), and 1 in 5 of our children have used an illegal drug brought across Arizona's border (not to mention the trash that the illegals spew - where are the environmentalists?) and our Government SUES them? The law said NOTHING different than the federal law says, but the Federal Government hasn't bothered to enforce its laws. President Obama promised troops for the border, but now has backed off that position. He wants amnesty for illegals because they will vote Democrat. But here's my problem - if you provide amnesty for the 10-20 million here NOW, but have not secured the border, what do you do with the 10-20 million more that will be here tomorrow? More amnesty? The border must be secured.

I believe in Federalism, which has been turned on its head. Local governments were supposed to report to the people. State governments to the local governments, and the federal government (with few very specific exceptions) to the states. Now, the Federal Government tells everybody else what to do despite the Constitution saying, specifically, that that's not how it works. The Constitution has become, to many, including many on our court's benches, an 'advisory' document, whose advice can be taken or ignored. The problem is, that's not what the Constitution is. The Constitution is the law of this great nation. Without the Constitution, there is no other law, no court system, no election process, no civil rights, no protection of the unalienable rights given to us by our Creator (life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness). There is no freedom of speech, no freedom of religion, no freedom to peaceful assembly, no right to bear arms and so on. Without the Constitution being upheld and fortified, America ceases to exist.

And there are some who would love that.

Muslim extremists for example, like those that attacked us on 9/11. Remember 9/11? Do you? Because many seem to have forgotten, including the Mayor of New York City. If you haven't heard, there is intention to build a 35 story Muslim cultural center...or mosque...in the shadow of Ground Zero. The Imam in charge of this has said that we - that America - is to blame for 9/11. He refuses to acknowledge Hamas as a terrorist organization, and he claims he wants to build a bridge of peace, tolerance, sensitivity -

This Imam needs to look up the word sensitivity so he can realize just how INSENSITIVE the building of his mosque is. Nobody is saying he can't build a mosque, but building it THERE is like building a Japanese Cultural Center at Pearl Harbor, a German military history museum at Auschwitz. In the same way we know not all Japanese are to blame for Pearl Harbor and not all Germans are to blame for the atrocities of the holocaust, we know not all Muslims are to blame for 9/11 - but it was still perpetrated by terrorists doing what they were doing in the name of Islam (albeit an extreme version). The fact that Mike Bloomberg says this is about freedom of religion and he doesn't care where the money is coming from, etc. says to me that he's forgotten the pain this nation felt on 9/11. The fact that Press Secretary Robert Gibbs says that the President has no opinion on the matter because it's a local matter, tells me that he believes that America wasn't attacked on 9/11, JUST the Twin Towers were. Build your mosque...build 7 of them for all I care, just do it somewhere else.

I've actually gone off on a rant I did not intend to go off on. All I wanted to point out is that the people of this country are getting tired of the lies. We're tired of getting pissed on by this administration only to be told by them it's just raining. We're tired of the broken promises (anybody remember transparency - all bills online for a few days before the vote or the healthcare debates being live on C-SPAN?). We're tired of the spending (by the government's own accounts, the GDP growth the country experienced in the first 2 quarters had nothing to do with government spending - near 0% of the growth was attributed to the stimulus). People are now getting unemployment for 2 years! Where do you cut it off? Or has it just become another welfare system? People are getting out of it more than they ever put in and the system actually discourages people from finding work. You say Americans won't do the jobs illegals do? Why should they? They can just continue to collect unemployment. Another extension will be along sometime.

Stop...I'm doing it again.

Anyway, I stopped posting because I couldn't keep myself from these rants. I stopped myself because I was tired of arguing with idiots (not saying everybody who disagrees with me are idiots..I'm happy to have an intelligent, civil debate with anybody, but I got very tired of arguing against people who would say things like "It's all Bush's fault we're in this mess and it's because you hate black people that you think Obama isn't good." - I already covered the racist thing, but obviously those people never heard of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, the government mortgage entities that were at the center of our financial collapse - you know, the ones the Democrats refused to touch in their new so-called financial regulation bill?). I stopped writing because the posts and subsequent arguments were taking up a good portion of my day.

I have a job. I now own a business which I started from scratch with no assistance, no loans, no government handouts. My little firm has paid out tens of thousands of dollars to workers who were not otherwise working. I created jobs...me, the small business the Democrats want to hinder by letting the Bush tax cuts expire...not Obama. Not the government. The ingenuity and hard work of private citizens with private capital. I have a wife, two young kids, and two puppies. I have a home to take care of. I was still even trying to write novels back then. Something had to give.

It was the blog.

But, now that that's off my chest, hopefully I can begin to write again. Sure you may see posts that are pure advertisement, and you may see some that are much more lighthearted than this. Either way, I hope you'll enjoy and continue reading.

First of the Month - A Guest Post

2010-08-06T12:17:00.001-04:00

Contribution by Saul Martin

The first of every month is the most dreaded day of the month for me. I have to go online and pay the bills. Flushing my hard earned money down the drain on items that I don't use or wish I could get rid of. The most important bill to me is my 4g highspeed internet bundles. Since I work from home and go to school online, paying that bill is the most important because it gets used the most.

I like having the flexibility of paying bills online because it means that I can do several all at once instead of having to mail in a check that I hope they won't get before the money comes in. It gives me more time to pay bills than I had before the advent of the Internet. Most all my bills can be paid online, my phone bill, utilities, cell phone, Internet, and all of the little clubs that we belong to. Using my bank website, I can easily set up a mass payment that gets distributed to all the places online that need paying. It really takes a load off my job knowing that I can have everything paid at once through a secure site that I trust and know exactly what I have left over. Most of which, will go to the kids for lunches and various activities, but it's nice to know that it's there.

Thursdays are for Mongolian Barbecue!

2010-08-05T09:51:00.002-04:00

Ok, I promise to be back to my own posting shortly, but work and starting my own business have had me swamped. In the meantime, I got offered a guest post which I allow occassionally, but this one I had to allow...because, seriously, there is not much out there better than Mongolian BBQ....

Thursdays Are For Mongolian Barbecue

Posted by Wilburn Berg

Every Thursday at 7:00 p.m. sharp I step out of the house and click the security alarm on as I close the door behind me and head over on foot to the Mongolian Barbecue restaurant waiting for me about ten blocks west of where I live. The brisk walk helps to clear my mind and causes me to fixate on the exotic and tasty treats which I am about to partake. The whole ritual serves to whet my appetite further as I look forward to making it to my destination. When I arrive they are already waiting for me. The dumplings, the whole reason for my coming here are served quickly because they already know I am on my way, and they know what I want. Fresh, handmade steamed dumplings, otherwise known as dim sum. Such a simple appetizer, and yet so good they make the rest of the meal a supplementary reason for dining there. It's an easy recipe. Some brown rice and some chopped mushrooms wrapped in a won-ton skin. What makes them so worthwhile is the dipping sauce, a mysterious mixture of sauces, spices, and flavors; the dominant one being vinegar I am sure.

Mongolian barbecue is primarlily fresh vegetables like broccoli, bok choi, and carrots, along with some thinly sliced meats, mushrooms, peppers and the like piled high on a salad bar style cold table which you assemble yourself in a white china bowl before presenting it to the chef who cooks it for you on a large round and very hot griddle in center of the kitchen. Your meal gets transferred to another bowl and then you walk it back to your table yourself and you enjoy it for the next 45 minutes or so. Nothing could be better. The service is minimal as you do most of the work yourself and you would not want it any other way because at the Mongolian Barbecue, you always get your meal exactly as you want.

Make Your Own Online Vacation Plans For Egypt

2010-07-20T11:52:00.001-04:00

Hey Folks..a little travel-related guest post for you today:

Post contributed by Hilton Miranda

If you are planning a trip to Egypt, take it from me and get the job done right. I travel there often and have more and know how to cut financial corners and ensure that I have sufficient time for where I want to be the most. I use the internet all the time to get more info on how to have the best time in Egypt that I can. The packaged tours from a travel agent are OK, but they are a bit pricey and didn't give me the time I needed in Luxor. The standard tour includes a few days in Cairo and a week long Nile cruise adventure with half-day stop in Luxor. Sounds great? Not really.

The main reason I keep going to Egypt is for the Valley of the Kings and exploring the city of Luxor. The cruise ships will take you there, however, the time limits before returning to the ship are too short for me. Four hours isn't going to cut it, and I need to book a two night extension in the city of Luxor. Asking for this itinerary tweaking is a waste of time with a travel agent. The way to customize is to book your own reservations from a travel broker online, adding the cruise on the days where it fits best. You can even keep tweaking from Egypt as most five-star hotels have a business center and lightning-fast computers with satellite Internet to get online.

Making my own unique itinerary for Egypt is fast, easy and saves me a ton of money. The Egyptian ground tour operators are just a phone call away in Cairo and they are some of the most efficient tour experts I have ever met. They will give you their cell phone for any questions or last minute wants, and are always there to make the trip smooth sailing.

It's July. It's SUPPOSED to be Hot!

2010-07-07T14:08:00.003-04:00

I just came inside. There are two major reasons I came inside.

1) It is hot enough outside to have hallucinations and

2) Satan drove by in a Ford Escort hurling water pumps singing "Oh Susanna." This would have been only mildly disturbing, except for the fact that we all know Ford doesn't make Escorts anymore and that if you read that correctly, the pumps were singing, not Satan (besides, we all know Satan drives a Hummer).

This seemed like a good time to come in and cool off, before I had to experience the yodeling timing belts. It's been 100 plus for two days and has felt over 100 for the past 4 days. This is the type of weather pattern meteorologists call "stupid." A title that also matches the associated news. Not only are we subject to devastating heat, but we've also been subject to days of news reports that let us know very important but little-known facts like, "If you're hot, drink water" and "Stay in the air conditioning."

I'm not sure what we'd do without our media. I mean, without them, how many synonyms for hot could you come up with? I can recall headlines referring to the heat as scorching, burning, and searing. I half expect to be basted, picked up by a pair of tongs, and flipped.

It amazes me that in the summer in New Jersey, people are still surprised and unprepared when it gets HOT. People, this is kind of what happens here. In the winter it's cold. In the summer it's hot. I could see surprise if we were in the southern hemisphere, but we're not.

Maybe the heat is just making me ornery, or maybe I'm just always ornery. Maybe I just like saying 'ornery'. Either way, can we all agree that it's supposed to be hot in the summer? And the first person that mentions 'Global Warming' gets a kick to the genitals as I gently remind them how they maintained that 40 feet of snow did not mean there was NO global warming, therefore a single heat wave cannot mean that there IS. Oh, and God forbid you ask me, "Is it hot enough for you?" That will get you and the person nearest to you a kick in the genitals.

Ornery.

Consider yourself warned.

Stay cool and don't go outside if you don't have to!

The Puppy Adoption Process Begins

2010-07-01T13:44:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I impulse shop.

I admit it.

I see something I like, I buy it. This works out well for manufacturers of all kinds of gums, mints, candy, and something called silly bandz. I once bought a mobile mousetrap because it cost $1.59 and was situated right at the checkout counter. When I say mobile, I mean it moved around. On wheels. By itself. There could have been a starving child next to me begging for $1.59, but I had to have that mousetrap.

No mice at home, mind you. Plus, I'd be a little suspicious of anybody begging for anything as specific as $1.59.

Anyway, sometimes my buys are larger, such as a pair of hunter wellington boots I purchased from a UK website. Some would question how I got to a UK website selling hunter boots (or a site called "Country Attire" for that matter). I plead the fifth - if invoking an amendment to the US Constitution still means anything. Not only will I not tell you the answer to those questions, I will also not tell you how I came to know these boots go by such an awesome nickname as "Hunter Wellies", only those in my inner circle know and you need to ask yourself, "Do I REALLY want to be a member of his inner circle?

Regardless, I have yet to impulse buy something as large as a car. I like to think that's the pragmatic side of me. More likely it's my fear of having my scrotum severed from my body by a dull, rusty blade wielded by a normally sweet, loving wife who has turned, albeit briefly, homicidal maniac. Maybe sadistic is a better word than homicidal, since she'd probably want to watch me suffer. Either way, not wanting that to happen to yourself is ALSO pragmatic, is it not?

I bring this up because my wife and I are looking into puppies and she's doing all this "research". The places who have the puppies are doing "background checks" and "interviews". Whatever happened to the days of saying, hey...this thing followed me home, can I keep it? Or kidnapping your friend's dog, dying its fur black and telling him that, "No, I've always had Onyx, how do you not remember? What, you're dog is missing? That's terrible. Onyx, stop licking his hand. Stop it!"

Things are just more and more difficult and do not lend themselves to impulse buying. Maybe that's good. Fewer people get buyer's remorse. We should have implemented "research", "background checks" and "interviews" into the presidential campaign a couple of years ago, judging by the amount of buyer's remorse out there now!

Soon, though, hopefully, if we pass muster, we'll have a puppy. Probably a lab mix. The kids will love it and I'm sure I won't be the guy who always has to get up to let it out in the middle of the night or clean up its poop.

Right?

Right?

So When You Say "Remodel" the Bathroom....

2010-06-28T11:21:00.004-04:00

This weekend was the grand remodeling weekend. That's right, yours truly took on a major home improvement when we (and by we, I mean my wife) decided that it was time to completely upgrade and remake our bathroom. Now, mind you, this does not mean we painted the walls and cleaned the shower, as was my previous understanding of the definition of 'remodel the bathroom'. No, this was nothing shy of purchasing a whole new bathroom suite.

To be fair, there was no love lost between myself and the dark wooden bathroom cabinets that used to greet me every morning. I always felt we needed something a little more...cheery. And, certainly, I can't complain over the idea of....wait for it.....TOWEL WARMERS! So, in the end, I'm glad we remodeled the bathroom (and by we, I mean me).

Don't get me wrong, my wife tried. She was a real trooper and spent a good portion of the day directing my labor, though, in a bit of a role reversal, not only was I not allowed 3 or 5 years ago to direct HER labor, I was told as her nails dug through the palm of my hand and out the back that if I even breathed incorrectly, she would end me. I guess maybe we're talking two different kinds of labor?

Eventually, though, we needed a line of defense to keep the children out of harm's way...so she went to distract them, which gave me the time to concentrate on installing one of these showers that makes you feel like you're standing naked in the rain, minus the whole part about horrified neighbors, excessive drunkenness and resisting arrest...but I digress. Suffice it to say that all naked rain-dancing can now be done in the privacy of our own home.

In the end, the bathroom looks beautiful. Um, there are no pictures because I'm pretty sure my cell phone is behind a piece of sheetrock. And by, "I think", I mean my wall was ringing this morning. Still, despite that, there's a certain feeling of accomplishment and now I know what I'm getting into when my wife says she wants to remodel the kitchen.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

2010-06-22T14:24:00.002-04:00

Does anybody else watch Friday Night Lights?

This is a show that deserved a bigger audience than it ever got and, thanks only to DirecTV sharing the costs of production and playing the new season on their 101 channel, it got a few extra seasons of life.

Now, I don't know much about Texas..in fact, I couldn't tell some major Houston Auto Repair shop from the Riggins brothers' chop shop, but I do know they love their football. High School and College as much, if not more so, than the NFL. This show so accurately depicts that passion with writing and acting that is sincere, intelligent, and sometimes gritty.

You root for each and every character. Even while the Riggins are getting themselves sucked into some illegal chop shop scheme, you still want to bring your car in for a tune-up and oil change. You are upset when Coach Taylor loses his job at Dillon West, but root like hell for the Dillon East team to bring on a good ol' family-sized can of whoop ass. You're pissed when the Matt Saracen is benched in favor of the snot-nosed freshman. In fact, by the end of an episode, you're ready to swap your old Acura Integra for a brand new Ford F-150.

I'm lucky, since I have DirectTV, I got to watch this new season last fall. It was once again an emotional roller coaster and ended way too quickly. Unfortunately, I believe next season is the last, so the entire series will end way too quickly. If you get a chance, run out and buy the DVD's or watch them on Netflix. You won't regret it.

Me, I'm just excited that the NFL preseason is a little more than a month away, because that show also gets me all riled up for some football!!

Congratulations! We're Proud of You!

2010-06-16T11:50:00.004-04:00

So, I've said before, specifically back around November of '08 when the whole thing was going on with Prop 8 in California that I not only do not have a problem with gay people, but support their right to marry. I have gay friends and a gay niece. All that being said, I was completely unaware that gay people needed specific tips and pointers on parking when visiting San Francisco. But I guess there's a lot of things about this culture I don't understand, so as they say, it is what it is. Apparently, some of my gay friends are heading out to The Castro - an area in San Francisco quickly becoming known as the gay hotspot in the world.

And apparently, parking is difficult.

We just finished a brief visit with my niece and these visits remind me of the struggles gay people go through when they're young, grappling with their identity, trying to gain acceptance and equality. It's a terrible thing no child should have to go through, but many do. Luckily, she's come out of it on the positive end - winning prom queen despite the labels and gaining a great deal more self-confidence than when she was 'in the closet.'

And while those of you who know my hard-lined conservative ideologies might be surprised by this, in the end, I feel that all people are people - created equal under God. I just wanted to wish my niece success in her post-high school endeavors and offer her a big congratulations! We're proud of you Brit!

No, It's All Right. I'm Fine. Thanks for Your Concern. Jerks.

2010-06-09T15:03:00.005-04:00

Has it really been almost 6 months since my last post? Really? Apparently you all missed me because I got this slew of mail asking, "Where are you?" and "Are you all right?" (Sarcasm. You all suck.)

But, hey, I'm glad you're here. Now, don't get your hopes up that this is going to be a daily thing like it used to be...no, there's simply no time for that. Since I left you, I started a business with a colleague of mine and that's taking up quite a bit of time, not to mention the family and...oh yeah, my job.

So where was I?

Would you believe I was getting an oil change? In Houston?

No? A tune up?

Ok, seriously, just what is your problem with the Houston auto repair industry?

Well, despite your discriminatory attitude to our Texan mechanics, you're right. I wasn't getting my Acura Integra serviced down in the Lone Star state. Hell, I don't even have an Acura Integra.

It was a pretty flimsy alibi. No, the truth is, I've been right here, burnt on politics, turned off to the world of writing/publishing, busy as hell, and wanting to step outside the pressures of keeping all you people entertained 5 days of week. It's grueling work and some of you are really just hard to please.

I've been on Twitter, so if you want to see my occassional political rant and you think I talk to much, well @jebraun I'm limited to 140 characters. Oh, sometimes I say something funny. And, because of the character limitation, I talk a hell of a lot less about myself!!

Let me give you an example..if this was Twitter, I'd have written this whole post as:

"Hi. I'm back. Been in TX w/car trouble. j/k. Just been busy. C ya. #bieber"

See, on Twitter, it's gotta be short. Everything gets abbreviated...even things you thought it was impossible to abbreviate. For instance...you is always u. To, too, or two is almost always 2. Cardiac defibrillation is C-2-the-d-fibrizzle.

Okay, not so much on the last one, but you get it. Oh, and the #? That's a hashtag, that allows your post to be seen by anybody monitoring that 'hashtag'. My post would be seen by loads and loads of weird people who find something intriguing about Justin Bieber. I'm not sure why I'd want these people to see my post, but I just like saying Bieber.

Bieber.

Bieber.

Heh.

Really, though, depending on who you follow, Twitter is great! I get news an hour before it shows up on any news website. I've got the inside track on politics from people who live in the affected regions. I follow Robert Gibbs, Obama's Press Secretary, so I can marvel at how a man so stupid is allowed in public without a bib. I follow celebrities and even once got into a debate over the Arizona immigration law with the guy that played Randy on "My Name is Earl" (Yeah, seriously, talk about surreal moments in life).

Remember, your Tweets are, for the most part, public, and are catalogued by the Library of Congress, so you may want to avoid telling Kim Kardashian you'd like to motorboat her, but why not stop to tell comedian Colin Quinn when he says that cloudy days are like God saying, "Sometimes I get depressed, too," that maybe God is sitting above the clouds where it's sunny laughing at him, because he likes seeing him feeling like crap. I mean, it's nice to help people have a positive outlook on life!

So...if you're into Twitter, add me @jebraun. I'll see you there!

'Twas Two Weeks Before Christmas...and People Are Putting Their Kids in Storage?

2009-12-11T09:46:00.006-05:00

Ok. This one falls under the heading: "Did they even look at the final product before they posted it on a really big billboard on a major highway?" Granted, that's a very specific heading, but it applies, so let's just roll with it, okay?

The day started out pretty well, actually. My sister had bought some music for me as a gift right from iTunes' Facebook fan page and posted it on my wall. I didn't even know you could do that, so it was a nice surprise. So, after I hit theiTunes Store with my iTunes online gift, I plugged the iPod into the car and hit the road.

I'd been listening to Christmas music non-stop for a few weeks, so the new music was a nice break as I cruised down 295 on my way to a meeting. The day seemed pretty..well..normal. Then, at approximately exit 8 I saw something that inspired the following poem..

'Twas two weeks before Christmas
And all through my car
Boomed the sounds of Nirvana,
Pearl Jam and Gwar (okay, that is SO not true, but it rhymed)

The iPod was mounted
On the dashboard with care
And the cold winter wind
Mussed up my hair (also NOT true..windows closed, heat on, but artistic license people, work with me)

With cars all around me
And the lines whipping by
I'd kind of zoned out
Til an ad caught me eye

Cause out on the lawn
There arose a billboard
"A place for your storage
That you can afford!"

I arose from my slumber
And leaned up in my seat
And couldn't believe
this marketing feat.

Up in the front
Was a mom full of smiles
But behind her is what
Would disturb me for miles

In a big cardboard box
Packing peanuts and all
Sat a girl and her teddy
Maybe four years - so small

Now I thought her mom's smile
Had a whole brand new reason
Was she packing away
Her young kid for the season?

But then I was past it
And left but to wonder
Was this the act of a madman
Or an innocent blunder?

I would hope its the latter
For all the kids' sakes
That this billboard I saw
Was just a mistake.

But it does make you wonder
How this stuff makes it by
The agents, the clients,
The exec's watchful eye.

As I then drove away
I let out a moan,
"I forgot to bust out
my new camera phone!"

Sorry folks...next time, you'll get the nice picture to go with it! Unfortunately, I don't travel down that highway very often.

On a separate note...for my regular readers, sorry the blogs have been few and far between...been super-busy. They'll be back. I promise!

I Force the Anger Out Long Enough to Give Thanks...Mostly

2009-11-25T08:27:00.005-05:00

I heard a song this morning that summed up the mood in this nation quite well:

"...because we need a little Christmas, right this very minute...lalalala, words, words, words...because we need a little Christmas now!"

Sorry, but I'm a little sketchy on some of the in-between lyrics. Anyway, I heard those lines and thought, "Man, aren't they accurate?"

With all that's going on, I know I need Christmas and all the feelings of joy, love, and giving that goes with it. Just the other night I had a dream I was debating a guy at work about healthcare reform. That's right...I DREAMT I was debating about healthcare reform. And I was angry as hell. Isn't sleep supposed to be relaxing? Now, with Afghanistan, Climategate, and the general hatred that continues to brew between the left and the right in this country, it just seems like a good time to slam on the brakes.

Now, of course, things will continue to move along, but maybe we can just calm down a little bit. Sure, maybe Congress will have another vote about something I don't want to happen and we'll lose by a vote or two, but I'm kind of used to that - if you look back at the presidential elections that have occurred since I turned 18, I have not voted for a single winner (yes, I voted for some Democrats and never once voted for George W. Bush!), I am a Mets fan and a Giants fan (well, ok, imagine my surprise when they won the Super Bowl two years ago...), and I've been to four fantasy football superbowls and lost all but one. So, if another vote slips in somewhere and we lose, I may be unhappy, but it won't come as a shock. To hell with politics for a little while, it's the holidays. At least I won't have to wonder what the hell happened to my country when Navy SEALS are being brought up on charges because they gave a captured most-wanted terrorist...a fat lip. Yes, it's time to zone out.

As my college roommate recently posted on Twitter, I am known for loving Christmas music. He knows this because sometimes I'd put it on in September or October, weeks before we'd decorated our Christmas Lamp (imagine a gold, floor-to-ceiling pole lamp, with three ornaments, a strand of garland, and a cardboard star). Sometimes I try to wait until Thanksgiving has passed before I begin listening, but this year, amidst all the despair over the direction in which my beloved country is heading, I was actually seeking it out. For days, I was jumping over to the stations I knew go to the 24-hour holiday music format to check if they'd made the switch. It was a full week before Thanksgiving and I was beginning to get twitchy. In the past few years, I'd found stations following this format as early as the first week of November. OK, yeah, that was a little extreme.

Last weekend, though, all the searching paid off. Ahhh, the sweet sounds of hopeful, joyous Christmas music. And to-date, Christmas music is something that has managed to escape the atheists who insist that the rest of the world bend to their demands. I actually heard songs that mention Baby Jesus and Mary. Crazy, right?

But, it is still only the day before Thanksgiving, so I've only tuned in in moderation - you know, to take the edge off. Seriously, I could quit if I wanted to, I just don't want to. What's the harm? It's not like I'm going out to buy my own Christmas music.

Anyway, before I let it slide by, I do want to evoke the spirit of the upcoming holiday: Thanksgiving. I know, if you read my blog - which you must because, well, you're here - it seems that I'm always complaining, but let me assure you, I complain BECAUSE of how happy I am. I complain because I am SO happy with my liberty and I am SO proud of the United States, that it tears me up to see the way it is so thoughtlessly being destroyed (I am currently reading the biography of John Adams and man, would that patriot cringe if he saw what was happening in this country today). I complain because I love my wife and children so much that I hate to see the nation in which the current government would have us live. I fear the economic disasters to come, based on all this debt and worry that my children won't know liberty like we have and won't know the glory of the United States.

See, there is this prolific indifference in this country, propogated by the belief that the United States will always be here. There is the 'it can't happen here' phenomenon and the myth that the government always has money. People ignore it until it affects them, but once the government is bankrupt it can no longer pay for services such as policemen, firemen, schools, etc. That's when people finally wake up and by then it's too late. If, when somebody mentions the national debt, the budget defecit, how much healthcare and cap and trade will cost, you say, oh, who cares? You may be suffering from this. Me? I worry that the politicians of NOW are stealing my children's future from them.

But, for now, I will try to put that all aside and give thanks - thanks for the liberties we do still manage to enjoy today; thanks for the job I have managed to retain in this economy and the roof it puts over my family's heads - the food it puts on the table; thanks for a loving wife who sticks by me through thick and thin; thanks for great friends and warm, caring family members that take care of one another; and more important to me than anything else in the world, thanks for the two little children, Isabella and Caden, that God has blessed me with - those beautiful, smiling faces can make any bad day good and give me constant motivation and inspiration. Thank you, God, for their health and happiness and may you give me the strength to keep them healthy and happy for many years to come.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

We'll resume Angry J.E. Braun next week!

Climategate - What Excuse Will They Come Up With For This One?

2009-11-24T08:25:00.006-05:00

Climategate.

Maybe you've heard of this, maybe you haven't. The main stream media is certainly ignoring it as much as possible. If you need a primer, before reading my blog, it can't really be said better than what you can read here:

Daily Telegraph (UK) Blog

Okay? Now, just hold onto that little tidbit for a minute.

For those of you too lazy to read the article, I will summarize: Top organization of scientists who support man-made global warming theories got hacked. Apparently, said scientists liked to email one another regarding ways to manipulate data to hide temperature declines, ways to hide or fabricate evidence to support their theories, and ways to discredit publications that presented an opposing viewpoint so that there would be no voice of opposition.

Ironically, if you go to that link and read the way this group intended to discredit a scientific journal at which an editor was skeptical of AGW (anthropogenic global warming), it may remind you of something else...the way the White House attempted to handle Fox News. Oh, it all comes together, doesn't it?

Okay, so while our Congress attempts to pass this farce of a healthcare bill, other things will be going on in the background, things they'll try to sneak through while we're not paying attention - like Cap and Trade. If you recall, it has been estimated that the passage of Cap and Trade will cost the average American family an additional $6700 PER YEAR in energy costs, REGARDLESS OF INCOME. So, while we get raped, not-so-surprisingly, Al Gore is poised to make millions upon millions, Pelosi is poised to make a ton of money off her natural gas investments, companies like GE who are barraging you with "greenness" (see last week's Green Week on NBC-owned by GE - which was so cleverly handled, such as on Heroes when a psychotic carnival-dwelling superbeing helps people recycle and says, "It feels great to give back to Mother Earth; she's given us so much" - smooth) stand to make tons of cash, and on and on. Yet, as I've said before, as over 30,000 scientists have come out to say, as Mark Levin wrote in Liberty and Tyranny, it's all a farce.

Yet, they'll continue to shove it down your throat. Did you realize that the majority of Americans are now skeptical of man-made global warming? Well, don't expect that to stop the lawmakers. The fact that the majority of Americans want nothing to do with these terrible healthcare bills hasn't stopped them (as of this week, 56% oppose, while only 38% favor). If they stand to make money, they will continue to push, despite what science or what the constituents tell them, or even despite the fact that evidence shows that cap and trade kills jobs. President Obama will tell you out of one side of his mouth that he is concerned about jobs and umemployment, while continuing to push bills that kill jobs. He does this in much the same way that he continues to warn us that we cannot keep spending this way and that the upcoming defecit will be disastrous, while he continues to push one and two trillion dollar programs through Congress - including a second stimulus. Oh, sure, they'll try to hide it by not calling it that, but hey, it's really, really, necessary. I swear guys! Like, totally necessary.

As necessary and urgent as the first one, Mr. President? The one that was SO urgent that 78% of it still hadn't been spent by the end of fiscal year 2009? Why, then, would they be talking about more stimulus if there's so much to be spent? Well, the fact is, much of that money did not go toward creating jobs, it went toward keeping state and local government jobs. When you do that with one-time money, a year later, you're facing those same layoffs again. And, should that happen, unemployment will fall even further, so, quick, get them more money so they can keep those jobs another year, otherwise the President might look bad!

At what point do we wake up? I mean, fortunately, some have, but the administration and leftists continue to do everything they can to silence or discredit them, much like the Global Warming scientists did to skeptics. The fact is, our Democrat Congressional leaders do not want the Senators and Congressmen and women to hear from you. Why do you think they're working all weekend lately, with no time off? So they won't return home where they'll hear from the opposition directly. It's all political trickery.

Just like man-made climate change.

Seriously, How Many Times Do I Have to Email You Before You Understand I'm Not a Spammer

2009-11-18T08:31:00.002-05:00

Two days ago, I received an email from a friend of mine. The email contained a forwarded SPAM email which tried to sell my friend some super Viagra or something like that. While I was still marvelling at how accurate targeted email lists had become, and while I was still conjuring up the many insults about my friend's manhood that are worthy only of good friend lest you get your teeth knocked out, I noticed the reason he had forwarded it to me. The email address from which the SPAM had been sent was:

Mrjonbraun48@yahoo.com.

Unbelieveable. I was now a spammer and didn't even know it. In reality, though, I told him it was obviously not me because it was a little too blatant. If I had made up a spam name to use, it would have been much more cryptic. Something like: Mrjonbraun448@yahoo.com.

Off I sent my response. Then I waited. I wanted to see what he had to say. So, I refreshed, checked the ol' Timex, and refreshed again.

No answer. Now, I was starting to get a little annoyed. I mean, I didn't like the idea - AT ALL - that I could be thought of as a spammer. The fact that there is an H in my name, ruling the fact that I might be behind the spam out completely, never occurred to me. Impatient, I emailed my friend again. Checked my watch, refreshed, cursed, sent another email.

Now, this was getting old. I refused to be considered a spammer anymore. Maybe he was having trouble with his internet connection, so I wrote him another email, sending him links to a new internet service provider that's supposed to be really fast.

Still nothing. Was he asleep in the middle of the day? Was he not getting enough sleep at night? Now I was worried about him, so I sent him another email, including a link to the site for Ambien. No response.

I was about to send another email, but didn't want to overwhelm him, so I set the stopwatch on my Timex to make sure I waited at least 45 seconds before I tried again. Another email.

This was, what, the sixth email? Why wasn't he answering. It reminded me of a story I'd heard about a guy who was emailing a friend and getting responses back, only to later find out his friend had been murdered before they were communicating...meaning he'd most likely been emailing with his friend's killer! I typed up the story and sent it to him and, now that it might have been happening to him I noticed how very real that situation could be, so I asked him to forward it to 20 of his friends.

And yet, as helpful as I was being - still nothing. Frankly, it was a little inconsiderate. I sent another email, but this time, just in case my emails were just languishing in his inbox because they were unremarkable, I made sure to spell lots of things wrong and even mix the case the letters were in so it would grab his attention. Stopwatch beeper 45 seconds later....and nothing.

Now I began to worry that maybe he was just mad at me. So I scoured the internet for some cute pictures of puppies and kittens doing crazy things and tagged some funny captions on to them and sent it off as a peace offering. There, that would do it.

Nothing.

Emails 12-50 went similarly and, frankly, it was getting frustrating. I'd been trying to contact him for over 15 minutes!

But, alas, I was growing weary. So, I wrote a script that would repeat one of the emails I'd already sent him every 45 seconds until I received a reply. There was no way I was just going to sit back while I was being labelled a spammer. Nobody tarnishes my good name like that (or, at least the name of Jon Braun). I went to sleep.

When I woke up yesterday morning, I'd finally received my response.

It said, "Dude, you're SO blocked."

Weird. He must not have realized those emails were coming from JoHn Braun and not Jon Braun. It's okay, I've been leaving him voicemails every hour for the past day or so. I'll have it all cleared up soon.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, has an H in his name, and does not spam. 10% of all profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Handy Manny Ain't Got Nothing On Me...

2009-11-17T13:15:00.003-05:00

So, I'm pretty proud. I was going to dance a jig, but thought better of it - for my sake and for the sake of those around me. Instead, I laced up the ol' running shoes and took a victory lap around the block.

Now, you might be wondering "What is it that could get John SO excited, he took a run around the block?"

Well, the answer to that would be nothing. I actually realized that about two houses away from home, stopped, rested for a few minutes, relaced my sneakers, found another two or three ways to waste time while I caught my breath, and walked back home.

Even good athletic footwear cannot force me to exercise. Oh, but there was something I was happy about: I had successfully installed a digital automatic humidifier on my forced hot air system.

Ok, so maybe that doesn't sound all that exciting to you guys, but let me just explain that I have the home maintenance and repair knowledge of a lemur and the work ethic of a member of Congress. This little installation involved removing the old unit, patching up ductwork with sheet metal, running new copper tubing from the hot water heater, installing a drain hose between the unit and the pvc pipe leading to the condensate pump and wiring the unit to the control box, the control box to the furnace controls, the control box to an outdoor sensor, installing a couple of transformers (which - who the hell knew - are NOT only little cars that turn into robots) and...wait..there was something else...oh, right..praying. Lots and lots of praying.

Now luckily, I am a safety director and co-owner of a safety consulting firm, so I knew enough to turn off the power and not drill through my foot. If I was going to blow up my home, I was going to do it safely, damn it.

Well, imagine my surprise after a few trips to Lowe's and Home Depot, some phone calls with an electrician I know, including emailing digital pictures of the wiring schematics of the humidifier and furnace, when I turned the breaker back on and...

...it worked.

No, seriously. No sparks. No flame. No cataclysmic opening of the earth into which my home was swallowed, no wormholes in the fabric of space and time (oh, it's been a good long time since I've mentioned wormholes in the fabric of space and time). All that happened was a soft blue glow emanated from the control box, the fan turned on, and suddenly...humidified air.

Let me just be the first to say...dude, I rock. I, who until recently would have told you that a wire stripper was a really skinny exotic dancer. I, who until recently would have told you that a saddle valve was something you had to open in order to let the horse urinate. I, who until recently would have told you that a heat plenum was...well, I'm still not exactly sure what that is, but that's besides the point...

I did it. Oh, and saved myself a few hundred dollars in the process, which is always kind of cool.

So, that's why I came so close to doing a victory lap. And even though I didn't, two houselengths is a long way for me to run, so it should count for something...

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia and now home repairman extraordinaire. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Maybe After the Jobs Summit, We Can Invite Khalid Sheikh Mohammed to the White House for a Beer

2009-11-13T08:58:00.005-05:00

President Obama has announced that he is going to have a Jobs Summit in December.

For the love of God, Barack, can't you do anything without some grandstanding? You've finally come to accept the fact that joblessness is a problem - despite your claims that the stimulus has created or saved - what is it now? - a gajillion jobs? Something gets my Spidey senses a-tingling over your numbers, though I can't quite place it. Yesterday, I saw somebody write on Twitter that the actual number was eleventy bazillion, but we all know that 'bazillion' is not a real number, so he was obviously lying. If he wanted us to believe his number was accurate, he should have said the stimulus had saved or created eleventy trillion jobs, because we all know 'trillion' is real.

So now we have a jobs summit. Maybe the President will sit down with Jobs and have a beer for a nice photo-op and a 'teachable moment'. The fact is, that while the right has been saying all along that no recovery is worth a damn if people are losing their jobs, the media and the administration have been fluffing it up for everybody, telling you to forget your quickly dwindling unemployment benefits and savings accounts, your pending foreclosure, your inability to buy Christmas presents for your family, and the fact that you're eating Ramen noodles for every mean because the recession was over!! We were back from the brink thanks to our savior Barack! What? Another half a million jobs lost this week? But that's fewer than last week! You should be THRILLED!

Then they started the whisperings about a jobless recovery. They needed to be able to point back to something at some point and say, "See, we warned you of this!" In the end, I guess when unemployment hit 10.2% (almost 18% if you include part time workers looking for full time work and people who have given up looking for work), it was hard to ignore - especially since the exalted stimulus was supposed to keep the unemployment rate from hitting 8%.

But, with the beer summit..sorry..the jobs summit nigh, is Obama all that serious about it? Well, how serious can he be when he's insisting on quickly passing cap and trade - which by way of testament of countries who have instituted cap and trade, kills 2.2 jobs for every 1 it creates? How serious can he be when Pelosi's healthcare plan will raise taxes on employers who will then need to cut back on jobs? I'm sorry, but jobs are NOT a priority for this administration.

If they were SO important, and this summit was SO necessary, why is it not being held until the middle of December? Last I checked, it was still not even the middle of November.

But maybe the problem is, he's got bigger fish to fry in the meantime. In case you haven't heard, 9/11 mastermind (Khalid Sheikh Mohammed oh, I'm sorry..according to Attorney General Eric Holder, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is now back to being a 'suspect') is being brought to NYC for trial. And now we've got a media circus on our hands.

Let's look at some of the problems with this, shall we?

1) The American court system...the liberties provided by the U.S. Constitution are for AMERICAN CITIZENS, not people who would see the United States destroyed given the opportunity (and, who have, in fact, tried).

2) This gives more popularity to the terrorists. It raises their esteem. It gives them marketing and recruiting opportunities.

3) In order to properly try this monster in court, all information will need to be revealed, all methods of acquiring that information will need to be revealed. I'm not even talking about torture, but top secret intelligence gathering methods will need to be revealed. If not to the world, at least to a terrorist and his attorney...but, yeah, to the world, too.

4) This opens the door for a mistrial. Do you think you can find somebody in New York City who isn't aware of the events of 9/11 to serve on a jury? So now there can be motions for a change of venue or claims of mistrial...at the very best delaying the trial, at the very worst, causing KSM to walk free.

5) If they manage to find people in NYC who have never heard of 9/11 - um, do you wnat the fate of this terrorist in THEIR hands? I wouldn't want the fate of a Judge Judy case in their hands..

This...man...should have had a military tribunal and disappeared into obscurity. This is foolish. Not to mention any time he spends in a prison, we run the risk of him radicalizing other inmates. Oh yeah, there's that. Oh, and did we mention the increased security risk of having KSM in NYC? I mean, do we not feel that this is a problem or is going to cost a boatload of money?

The more I see, the more I believe this administration does not have the best interests of the American people at heart. They're doing all this stuff for somebody...but it is not for us.

Is it Politically Inorrect to Call Political Correctness "Jackassery"?

2009-11-11T13:27:00.006-05:00

As I was driving into work today, I noticed a bumper sticker on a car in front of me and one lane over. It was one of those bumper stickers that I don't think you're meant to read unless the car is parked, because it's so small you have to get dangerously close to the other car and take your eyes off the road in order to read it. Mind you, I'm not saying I did that!! Goodness, no. I just happen to know what it says because I have, um...really good eyesight. Yeah, that's it.

Anyway, the sticker said, "Some days I hate being me, then I think about you and I thank God I'm not you" or something like that. I'm not sure if that was the exact quote because after I got about 3/4 of the way through the sticker, I became disgusted with this guy's total jackassery (which if not a word, SHOULD be a word) and ran him off the road.

I mean, seriously, he doesn't even KNOW me! Of course, a couple of my co-workers, a police detective, and the driver of the car have made the preposterous suggestion that maybe the sticker wasn't aimed at me personally. At least, I think that's what the driver said. It's hard to understand somebody from inside a full body cast.

Anyway, I wanted to quickly comment on the Ft. Hood shooting before reposting my Veteran's Day post from last year (after reading it, I decided it still said everything I wished to say). Ft. Hood was a tragic, avoidable event. 13 people are dead because we have become so politically correct in this country that we force law enforcement into a state of impotence. They can't follow up on what were an overwhelming amount of indicators that this shooter - Major Nidal Malik Hasan - had been radicalized. They knew he'd been speaking out against the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Fine, everybody is entitled to their opinion, but here was a man who was saying that car bombings were justified. He was saying that he was Muslim first and American second. THAT poses a big problem for somebody who has sworn to fight ALL enemies of the United States both foreign and domestic. He had attempted to contact Al Qaeda (which apparently Chris Matthews of MSNBC's Hardball doesn't think is a crime). Yet, nobody stopped him because....HE WAS MUSLIM and they were scared as hell that it would be seen as discriminatory.

And now 13 are dead. Look, I expect that if somebody hears of a Christian extremist planning to go blow up abortion clinics, that that person be turned into the authorities and investigated. If a Jewish extremist was overheard discussing how he wanted to blow up Mosques, that person should be turned into the authorities and investigated. If a Buddhist..well...those Buddhists are peaceful little people, aren't they?

Anyway, this situation is worse. This man was a MAJOR in the U.S. Army and just like our political correctness puts our soldiers in harms way by restricting the rules of engagement in Iraq and Afghanistan, it caused the death of 13 people here at home. The insanity has to stop.

Now, in all that I wrote, did anyone see anything about condemning all Muslims? Or putting them in camps as the Democrats' hero FDR did with the Japanese during WWII? No. But we have to recognize extremism for what it is and not be like this self-righteous idiot Peter Santilli on Twitter who said that Christian drunk-drivers are a bigger threat to the nation. If you can't see that a drunk driver at NO point said, I am a Christian, therefore I'm going to drink, get in my car, and drive until I kill somebody and that drunk driving is not exclusive to any one religion, and that - therefore - religion has nothing at all to do with drunk driving fatalities, then you are, as stated, an idiot.

When all was said and done, there were red flags all over the place. 13 people are dead and shouldn't be. Political correctness needs to be put in check and fast, before more people die as a result. Now, of course, if anybody reading this agrees and is an agent or publisher, I have a novel, The Offensive about political correctness gone awry, for sale.

I'm just saying....

Anyway, as promised, here is last year's Veterans' Day post:

Thank You, Veterans

I woke up this morning and did not fear what the day would bring. - Thank you veterans.

I admired our home as I got ready for work - a home we are able to provide to our children because we can achieve anything we want in this country as long as we are willing to work hard for it. - Thank you veterans.

I kissed my children goodbye, and thought about the limitless possibilities for their futures. - Thank you veterans.

I kissed my wife goodbye and went to work, leaving her and the kids in the security and safety of our home. - Thank you veterans.

I listened to the radio on my way to work, choosing what I wished to hear. - Thank you veterans.

I breathed the sweet air of freedom that IS America and thought about the many men and women of the U.S. armed forces who have served in combat - men and women who put their lives on the line to provide the freedom we all enjoy today. I thought about them and I said, "Thank you."

In case you aren't aware, today is Veteran's Day in the U.S. Originally celebrated, and still celebrated to this day in many parts of the world, as Armistice Day - the day the armistice was signed to end WWI. Unlike Memorial Day, this is a day to honor those soldiers still living. Some would argue that these men and women, who saw first-hand the horrors of war have it harder than those that did not return - having to live each day with the memories of the things they saw and the friends they lost.

It's also important to remember our military men and women who never saw combat - the fact is, they volunteered to go should we need them, and that's just as important in my book. For those of us that never had to experience combat first hand, we can only thank God and these men and women that we have not had to.

On Veteran's Day, I also like to think of the parents and families of soldiers killed in action. To me, they are survivors as well - people who bear the scars of war. I know, as a father, I would easily give my life to protect my children. If the choice was me or them, there would be no choice. These parents gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom - their children. I know this is not necessarily the intent of the day, but I don't think any veteran would begrudge me for feeling this way.

Regardless, we should thank our veterans every day, but should it be something that slips your mind the rest of the year, make a point of thanking one today. As my friend, Ed - a US Marine, pointed out, especially make an effort to thank a veteran of WWII or Korea because time is running short on having the opportunity to do so.

War, as we all know, isn't always popular. Vietnam was heavily protested and the war in Iraq is one in which many Americans wish we had never gotten involved. Hopefully, though, we have learned something since the Vietnam era - that despite your opinions on the war - these men and women who fight for our freedom are heroes. They put their lives on the line VOLUNTARILY so that you and I may eat, breathe, sleep, work and play the way we want.

Never forget the sacrifices made on our behalf, breathe in the air of freedom that IS America, and thank a veteran today.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Sesame Street and The US Marines Have More in Common than Having Cool Theme Songs

2009-11-10T10:01:00.006-05:00

The election took a lot out of me so, you might have noticed that I haven't blogged in about a week. I actually began to write a blog about healthcare yesterday since the bill passed a House vote on Saturday night, but couldn't curb my disgust enough to do it.

Now, if, just a year-and-a-half ago, someone had told me that I'd be sitting on the couch on a Saturday night watching a Congressional healthcare vote on C-Span, I would have punched them in the face. Then I would have apologized and asked them to repeat what they'd said because I wasn't listening. I've got to get out of that habit of reflexively punching people in the face.

My grandmother still won't speak to me.

I have apologized and acknowledged that 'Did you eat dinner?' was not deserving of a fist to the jaw, but, man, what a grudge-holder! Seriously, let it go already...

Anyway, I went on and on in my blog about why this healthcare bill is bad, why it's not going to do the things the government says it will do, and why it will do the things the government says it won't do, but I just had to stop. I've said it all before, so those of you who read my blog either agree by now or don't and never will.

So, I will just leave you today with this: two very important birthdays are being celebrated today: Sesame Street's (40th) and the United States Marines. Sesame Street has been a valuable tool in the education of this nation's children and the Marines have been instrumental in protecting those same children and providing them the freedom to grow up to be whatever they want to be. Happy Birthday and thank you to both!

One thing...Sesame Street people, if you can hear this you really dropped the ball on not doing a 'Don't punch people in the face' episode, brought to you by the letter I when I was a kid. You might want to consider it for the sake of today's youth. I'm no programming expert, I'm just saying it might do some good.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Good Luck, Mr. Christie. We're All Counting On You

2009-11-04T09:03:00.004-05:00

I'm proud of my fellow New Jerseyans today. Congratulations to Chris Christie on winning the gubernatorial race (alas, it will be quite some time before I get to use 'gubernatorial' as much as I have in recent days...). Anyway, we'll get back to Chris Christie in a moment.

I want to temper my pride in my fellow New Jerseyans just a drop because while we went out and crusaded against, in large part, higher taxes and runaway spending, we SIMULTANEOUSLY approved the state to BORROW $400 MILLION. Can we start to see why we're in such a mess? Look, open space is a nice thing, in fact, in my hometown I voted to NOT drop the amount set aside for it, but that did not include borrowing $400 million when we're already going to have a $10 Billion defecit. Oh well...that bird's flown the coop.

Now, for Chris Christie. I said all along, he might not do a good job, but he couldn't do worse than Corzine. Either way, we voted him in hoping he'd reduce property taxes, fight corruption, curb our spending and not bow to the massive NJ political machine. He's got a lot to live up to, that's for sure. It will be difficult because the state is in terrible condition, but I will not whine about 'inheriting this problem'. He will have an uphill battle against the state's mostly Democrat senate and Assembly (two assemblymen under indictment for corruption were voted BACK IN to office last night), but I will not cry that we need to 'give him a chance'. If he is attempting to do things that are good for this state, I will support him and if he does things that I deem bad, I will speak out against it. Either way, this man has a lot riding on his shoulders. This is a state that voted for Obama by a 16% margin one year ago today.

Now, I'm not saying this election was a backlash against Obama. Frankly, it was a backlash against Corzine. Look, you're a Democrat running in a VERY Democrat state. You have a Republican running that the Republican base isn't exactly thrilled about. You have an independent swiping votes from your opponent. Your party is financing advertising FOR the independent to get more votes away from the Republican. Obama visits 3 times (or more?), Bill Clinton visits, Biden visits, Al Gore visits and you still can't win? THAT is a backlash against Jon Corzine.

Now does it say anything for the national stage? Sure. It tells politicians that they are vulnerable no matter who they are. It tells them that just because they're Democrats in a Democrat state, doesn't mean we won't hesitate to vote them out if they're not doing what we expect them to do. Hopefully, more than anything else, it makes our Congressmen and women, and our Senators, THINK about their constituencies and vote for what the PEOPLE want rather than what they want or what lines their pockets.

Chris Christie already pledged to go on NJ101.5 once a month for the next four years to take calls directly from the people of NJ. Corzine was the first governor since they began doing that to say he wouldn't. So, already, he wants to be more accessible to the people.

Good luck Mr. Christie and congratulations. You have quite a bit riding on your shoulders and we're all counting on you. Now's the time for you to show us what you've got.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Vote Early, Vote Often (Okay, I'm Just Kidding About the Often Part...)

2009-11-02T09:22:00.004-05:00

November 2. Day of the Dead in Mexico. While that sounds creepy and may invoke images of restless spirits, vengeful poltergeists, animated skeletons and lumbering zombies, the reality is that all that occurs on the Day of the Dead is that dead people are entitled to a free dessert at Applebees.

Kind of anti-climactic, I know. Those Mexicans just don't know how to do a holiday. At least we would add a fireworks display.

Now, granted, I'm not Mexican, so maybe I have this all wrong, but I'm pretty sure the Applebees thing is accurate.

So, while today is the Day of the Dead in Mexico, tomorrow could be the Dawn of the Better Off Dead in NJ if Corzine is re-elected. Recent polls are encouraging, but the race is so tight it's really going to fall down to how many people get their backsides to the polls. If you want 4 more years of higher property taxes, higher sales taxes, loss of property tax relief, pandering to union bosses, theft of our money, broken promises, lies, and an 800% increase in tolls, go out and vote for Corzine. Can I promise that none of these things will happen under Christie? No, but Corzine already proved they WILL happen under him.

We've got to wake up, NJ. If we keep accepting the same corruption, fraud, waste, and abuse that we've been getting, then we DESERVE to be buried in taxes and to be run out of the state because we can't afford to live here. But, if you love living here, then now's the chance to make a statement. The entire Assembly is up for election. Let's boot all the incumbents out and make them understand that we're not going to take their crap any longer. Let's make it clear to the next group that if they come in and try more of the same, then they'll be gone too. Doing that will also let the Senators know that their days in office are numbered if they don't start representing us the way we deserve to be represented. We've had our state torn from us and, if you don't believe it, ask any of the hundreds of thousands who have been forced to leave the state in the past couple of years. Ask any of the businesses who have been forced to close their doors because they can't afford to operate in NJ's oppressive business environment (losing tons of jobs in the process).

We need to make our politicians understand that this is OUR state, not their plaything with which they can do what they please. Our personal income is not an endless pool of wealth that they get to siphon from anytime they have a self-serving whim. Enough is enough.

Get out there tomorrow and vote. Your ONE vote MAKES A DIFFERENCE, don't ever believe it doesn't. This race is practically a dead-heat. Polls open at 6am and are open until 8pm. Don't wait until the last minute, because a long line can make you miss your chance.

So, if you're going to Mexico tonight to get your free dessert at Applebees, just make sure you get back in time for the election. The dead will understand if you have to cut the night short a little.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit, www.jebraun.com.

Fantasy or Reality - Jon Corzine, Nancy Pelosi, and Slutty Halloween Costumes

2009-10-30T08:52:00.004-04:00

I'm going to borrow a format from one of my favorite fantasy football weekly articles and use it for politics and current events. The format is called Fantasy/Reality. The gist is, I take a statement of conventional wisdom and describe why it's either fantasy or reality. Simple, right? Ok, let's go.

Governor Corzine, being the financial genius he is, foresaw the impending recession and set New Jersey up to be ready to make the quickest recovery of any state.

Fantasy.

This Corzine campaign gem has not only been spewed by Corzine, but it's been regurgitated by Obama and Biden as they came to the state to stump for the man that's driven NJ into the ground the past 4 years. A recent Rutgers study shows that, in reality, NJ is not only not recovering faster than other states, but will actually be one of the SLOWEST recoveries in the nation. But, hey, I haven't exactly come to expect FACTS to be used by either Corzine or Obama. Why the slow recovery? NJ has one of the worst business climates in the nation with 11% corporate income tax, so there's no incentive for a company to either come here or grow here when someplace like, say, Pennsylvania, has a 3% income tax. Also, with housing costs so high, companies cannot lure good people here from out of state. So, by fantasy, I mean outright lie.

Any profession, character, or vague idea can be made slutty for Halloween.

Reality.

Just go to a Halloween party. It won't take long for this fact to set in. Dirty girlscouts, French maids, sexy nurses, yummy mummies (I just made that one up), you name it, it's slutty. Hot for this year: slutty iPhones and slutty Bernie Madoffs.

Jon Corzine, if re-elected, will care even less about NJ because he doesn't have to worry about re-election ever again.

Reality.

Well, he let the big one slip last night and the NY Times was there to take him to task. Some of you may remember that last year, Jon Corzine tried to monetize the NJ Turnpike and Parkway. The result would have been an 800% increase in tolls, not to mention additional tolls placed on roads that currently do not have them. The NJ population rose up, not just because it would have affected commuters, but EVERYONE in the state (additional tolls on trucks carrying goods equals increased cost of goods to consumer, trucks avoiding toll roads equals destruction of local roads not equipped for that type of traffic, etc. etc.). The plan, after a NJ101.5-led protest made the NJ voters' voices heard on the capitol steps, was scrapped. But, if Corzine is re-elected, he said he'd revisit the plan. Why? Because he no longer needs to worry about what we think. Also, expect the sales tax to go up again. Remember last time? 1/2 to close the defecit and 1/2 to property tax relief? Result: 1/2 immediately siphoned off by mostly Democrat senators to grants to their districts to help ensure re-election and the eventual loss of our property tax rebates. Gee, I wonder where the next 1 or 2% will go.

The Recession is OVER!!

Fantasy.

Well, there seems to be a new term floating around under this administration: jobless recovery. So, let's ask the 10% of Americans who are unemployed how happy they are the recession is over. By the way, that number goes above 17% if you count the people who have given up trying. Let's look at the claims: 650,000 jobs saved or created by the stimulus? Really? As hundreds of thousands are lost every month, you're going to try to claim that? Experts say there's no way to really know and that the numbers are highly inflated. 3.5% growth of the GDP? Not if you remove things like the one-time cash for clunkers influx. When things like that are removed, growth was around 0.3%. Growth, granted, but what happens next quarter when we see car dealers couldn't sell a car because all those who wanted to buy DID buy during Cash 4 Clunkers? Manufacturing down. Consumer Confidence down. And the list goes on and on.

"It is with pride and humility...blah, blah, blah" - Nancy Pelosi

Fantasy.

This was the beginning of Nancy Pelosi's speech as she made her public presentation of her healthcare bill. The public presentation that the public was locked out of. By the way, the deliberations were behind closed doors as well. The bill is just shy of 2000 pages, by the way. Amazing that, as Mark Levin pointed out last night, the Constitution - the document that created our government, guided our country and made us great for the past 200 years has about 4500 words. Pelosi's healthcare bill is almost 2000 pages! I list this as fantasy not because I don't think she's proud, but because I don't think she's got the slightest clue what the word humility means.

Corzine will get our economy back on track if we give him a chance.

Fantasy.

Corzine has made it clear, if given the chance he wishes to make NJ a more progressive state. For those of you unaware, progressive means bigger government. Bigger government means higher taxes and more spending. So plan on more of the same. Plan on things getting worse. Here's the thing, giving everybody things for free while only a small group pays for it is unsustainable. Either the people paying get tired of it and leave, or you drain them so much they slip down into becoming recipients as well. When government grows, it means new government jobs. Well, we already have 400,000 Government jobs in NJ and we're floundering. What some people don't get is, where does the money come from to pay for those jobs? OUR pockets. Taxes. See, unlike the private sector, government doesn't create wealth. They either print money or they tax. Since the states don't print their own currency, it means that to pay for these jobs as the government grows, they need to tax us more. We've already seen that Corzine is unwilling to cut the fat from the budget, so he's got to get more revenue. Whenever you hear him use the word revenue, don't be fooled - it means 'taxes'.

Somebody found me worth sponsoring.

Reality. No, really.

You may have noticed ads on my blog. Please support my advertisers and click through to check them out! There's no obligation to buy anything, but it makes them happy. Which makes me happy. And as I like to frequently remind you, it's all about me.

Aliens are attacking NJ!

Fantasy.

But it was 71 years ago today that Orson Wells made a ton of people believe that, causing panic and riots. Same effect would be achieved today by making a radio announcement that Government-run healthcare had been passed.

One can eat too much candy.

Fantasy.

I'd even go so far as to say this one is pure blasphemous drivel. Tomorrow is Halloween and while many people will be comforting their children by telling them there's no such things as ghosts, I will be comforting myself by reminding myself there's no such thing as too much candy. Now, to pick out my costume for trick or treating...should I go as slutty nurse or slutty Spongebob?

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Debate Over Whether or Not to Vaccinate is Irrelevant When There's No Vaccine

2009-10-27T08:59:00.004-04:00

Forgive me if I'm a bit grumpier than usual today - I just finished a two-hour long commute to work because, apparently, if it rains, it means you should slow all the way down to 4 m.p.h. - even on straight, 5-lane highways. Sure, a few so-called "overturned tractor-trailers" didn't help the situation, but seriously people, step on it!

Okay, now that I got that off my chest, anybody out there got the swine flu, yet? Anybody afraid? How 'bout that vaccine the government promised, how's that working for you?

Exactly. I warned you months ago - okay, I know I did, but I can't, for the life of me, find the post where I said it - that there was no way that we'd have enough vaccine in time. In fact, I specifically said that other countries from which we were buying the vaccine would first take care of their own countries before shipping anything to us. Guess what happened? Australia decided to take care of their own citizens before sending anything to us. Weird how that works, huh?

Especially since we're going to be sending some of our own overseas before OUR citizens are taken care of.

Now, granted, this is not the only reason we're short. The virus is growing much more slowly than expected, so it's taking longer for batches to be manufactured. So now, apparently more than 1000 people have died, our children are extremely vulnerable, and, well, no vaccine. Ahhh, we might get a couple more in November, then oh we'll have a TON in December.

Really? You think so? Why am I not confident?

Oh, I know. It's because I'm not confident in ANYTHING the government claims. Remember how they said that unemployment wouldn't pass 8% if we passed the stimulus NOW? It's 10%. Remember when they expected the money allotted to Cash 4 Clunkers to last for three months? It lasted a week. Medicare was originally supposed to be a couple of billion dollars and is now a few hundred billion. Now the millions of swine-flu vaccines that were supposed to be available don't even come close to projections. And on and on and on.

So, what is it then that makes you believe ANYTHING they claim? If you apply this to healthcare, what makes you think it will be $1 Trillion and not $3 Trillion? And if it costs so much more than planned, then where does that money come from? Either they raise your taxes even more or they cut services. Medicine and procedures become unavailable. The left keeps claiming that there is no rationing in this bill and maybe...just maybe...they intend for there to be no rationing, but they also intended for most of us to be vaccinated by now. They also intended for unemployment to be on the decline. They also intended for Cash 4 Clunkers to still be going strong.

Intent and reality are two completely different things.

And that's if you buy the idea that their 'intent' is noble. That they want to help. I still believe from everything I see, that the Democrats want nothing more than to increase their power and to increase their voter base. They disguise it to look like it's supposed to help you, but anybody who takes a really critical look at their plans see that everything, from healthcare to Cap and Trade, takes over large segments of the economy at YOUR expense.

Those on the left, or even just those who want to believe that it's ridiculous to think that these aren't just good people with our best interests in mind should refer to something somebody once said:

It will be forgotten, on the one hand, that jealousy is the usual concomitant of love, and that the noble enthusiasm of liberty is apt to be infected with a spirit of narrow and illiberal distrust. On the other hand, it will be equally forgotten that the vigor of government is essential to the security of liberty; that, in the contemplation of a sound and well-informed judgment, their interest can never be separated; and that a dangerous ambition more often lurks behind the specious mask of zeal for the rights of the people than under the forbidden appearance of zeal for the firmness and efficiency of government. History will teach us that the former has been found a much more certain road to the introduction of despotism than the latter, and that of those men who have overturned the liberties of republics, the greatest number have begun their career by paying an obsequious court to the people; commencing demagogues, and ending tyrants.

- Alexander Hamilton, The Federalist Papers, 1787

What Hamilton is saying here when you get through some of the flowerly language, is that the road to despotism was more often travelled by people saying they were 'doing it for the people', ascending to power on emotion, rather than substance, and ending tyrants. Every program brought forth by this administration has been supposedly 'for the people', but in reality hurts the people it claims to help. Demagoguery? The President's entire platform was 'Hope and Change' - neither of which we've ever seen, but, man, did it strike an emotional chord with the American people. But what were the specifics behind that hope and change? Anybody? And 'ending tyrants': Was Obama's election not due, in large part, to a backlash against the Evil W.? George W. Bush was one of the worst tyrants the world has seen, according to the left. I don't know about you, but I tend to heed the words of our founding fathers, especially when they seem to hit the nail on the head.

For those of you that will argue, "But Hamilton is pushing for government here, hypocrite!", I say:

Yes, firm, efficient government, NOT massive, tyrannical government that invades every aspect of your life, your home, your job, to tell you what you can and cannot do.

See, to me, efficient government means that government that does the few things the U.S. Constitution gives it the authority to do (national defense, regulate interstate commerce, collect taxes) and do them well. It does NOT mean to continue to grow and take over more and more things (not to mention doing it in a sloppy manner, wrought with fraud and inefficiency). In fact, I read an liberal argue on their blog that if there is no public option in healthcare, well, that would just give the insurance companies a hell of a monopoly!

What???

There are many, many companies that provide insurance. The lack of government in that process does not make it a monopoly. If there was one company so big it was destroying anybody who tried to compete, THAT would be a monopoly. But these are the arguments the left is using to keep growing the size of our federal government.

This is NOT what the founders intended. The original colonies were VERY concerned with their individual liberties. They were so concerned with turning over the sovereignty of their territories to a centralized federal government that many initially fought against remaining a Union, but the founders managed to draft a document that created strong individual states with support from a federal government, not a strong federal government with support from the states.

If they had known that it would become what we have today - they probably never would have ratified the document. We've lost our way. Liberty and initiative have given way to entitlement and redistribution. And with it, our country continues to weaken.

But there are voices out there. Voices of the people. And soon the tide will turn. Yesterday a poll showed that 40% of Americans consider themselves Conservative, while only 20% considered themselves liberal.

That will show itself at the polls in 2010, and our voices will finally be heard.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he struggles to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Politics Gives Me Weird Dreams

2009-10-26T08:35:00.005-04:00

Before I begin, I would like to just state that, as a Mets fan, there can be NOTHING worse than a Yankees-Phillies World Series (from a sports point of view). Seriously, it's like asking me, "Which would you rather me do, stab a steel bristle brush through your left testicle or your right?" - regardless which I choose, the results are equally painful.

Now that we've got that out of the way, I'd also like to point out that sometimes, just sometimes, my brain works in ways even I feel cross some boundaries. For example, there is a news story right now in NJ about a priest who was found murdered in his rectory. Terrible story, of course. The problem comes, though, when the suspect is discussed - a man, working as a janitor for the church, by the name of Jose Feliciano. Now, some of you may know where I'm going with this by now, but the point is, I can't stand the fact that as I listen to a horrific story on the news, I can't help but sing, "Feliz Navidad." Serioulsy: I. Can't. Stop.

Anyway, on to more important matters. My government anxieties must be on the rise again, because, as with a month or two ago, I had another dream in which I was searching for help with my car. This time, though, I was in Texas, searching for a Houston auto repair shop. This may have been related back to healthcare, because I've often said that we should be looking to Texas for a fix, as their laws addressing tort reform have brought down costs across the board and have brought doctors flocking back to the state. So there I am in my Acura Integra, seeking an oil change in order to assure myself I'm getting the best fuel efficiency I can, as well as where I can get a tune up. But then I start wondering what the hell a tune-up is and if I actually need one. I have this nagging feeling that I neither want, nor need a tune-up, but somebody is forcing me to get one. This part of the dream smacks of environmental regulations regarding so-called man-made global warming. I feel we neither want, nor need, Cap and Trade, yet the government is forcing it upon us. So, yeah, that's what I dreamt about. How 'bout you?

Speaking of global warming, President Obama returned to his tactic last Friday of attacking anybody with an opposing viewpoint, when he said that climate change 'naysayers would resort to ever-increasing 'underhanded' tactics the closer the Senate came to passing a climate bill. Having Obama as President has been like trying to debate somebody who fights back with, "'Cuz I said so." You must believe what he says and blindly accept his vast, sweeping platitudes, despite any facts that might be presented to the contrary. If you don't, you are an idiot. Period. This is the case with every issue and has been seen most clearly in his attack on Fox News. This Sunday, George Stephanopoulos showed a video on This Week of President John F. Kennedy being asked about how he was being handled in the news media. Did he respond that the media was a joke and shouldn't be taken seriously? Did he urge everybody to ignore them as a legitimate organization? Did he attack his critics? No. He said something to the effect of, I read the headlines and like what I see, lately, less and less, but they're doing their job and being the watchdog. We'll live together for a while, then we'll go our separate ways.

A response, I feel, worthy of, arguably, the most powerful office in the world. Not childish, Chicago-style politics and Saul Alinsky tactics.

On the same program, I also watched an interview with NJ's Governor, Jon Corzine. Honestly, what an arrogant jerk. I'm sorry, but I call it like I see it. He's on there touting his accomplishments, like how he balanced the budget. Unfortunately, nobody took him to task over how he 'balanced' the budget by deferring payments that we'll need to pay back later - with interest. Or how this so-called 'balanced budget' included one-time money, like the stimulus funds. We're looking at a $10 billion defecit next year! Yet, whenever the interviewer did try to take him to task, he put his hand up, repeated her name in a condescending, patronizing manner, and blew off her question. If we vote this man back into office, I will have lost complete faith in my fellow NJ citizenry. Briefly, I thought I'd go for Dagget, until he said on the radio this morning that he voted for Obama in November. All that says to me, is that Dagget has no problem with runaway spending and taxation, so, no thank you, Mr. Dagget. We have enough of that already in the Garden State. My vote is now officially locked in to Chris Christie.

One week until election day. The more I mull over these political issues, the more I realize that maybe the fact that I was driving an Integra was not insignificant. Maybe I was driving it because its name was so close to the word Integrity. Maybe the fact that it was about to break down and I needed a repair shop was my lack of faith in the integrity of our politicians to do what's right for their constituents.

Maybe.

Or maybe I just ate something funny before bed.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Chalk One Up for Freedom of the Press

2009-10-23T11:19:00.007-04:00

Here is a good example of the White House's hypocrisy and it demonstrates that the real reason the administration is attacking Fox News is NOT that Fox News is not a real news outlet, but because the White House cannot tolerate any opinion that disagrees with theirs.

First, background. In case you haven't noticed, the White House has declared a war on Fox News. The administration has not provided Fox (now, we're talking Fox News Channel here, not local Fox affiliates) much access to the President or other high ranking officials since day 1, probably because Fox tends to question the administration and be highly critical of its actions, but now they've openly declared war. White House Communications Director, Anita Dunn, said that Fox News is not a real news channel and urged other media outlets to not treat them as such. Press Secretary Robert Gibbs told Fox's White House Correspondent Jake Tapper that he should try watching Fox News' 5pm and 9pm programming with him to see what the White House means. Jake Tapper was quick to point out that Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity hold the 5pm and 9pm slots on FNC, respectively, and that those programs are OPINION programs, not NEWS programs. Gibbs shrugged it off and said, well, that's the White House's opinion.

Okay, let's break this down.

Starting with Gibbs first. What he's essentially saying is that either the White House can't tell opinion from news, or they're intentionally mixing the two. He's saying that the White House has an opinion, but people who express opposing viewpoints are not allowed to have an opinion.

Gotcha Bob.

To further this point, not only does the White House NOT have a problem with liberal OPINION shows, such as those that belong to Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow on MSNBC, but Obama actually invited Olbermann and Maddow TO THE WHITEHOUSE for some personal time this past week. Okay, are you following? It's okay - and actually encouraged - to be opinionated on a supposed News channel, as long as your opinion agrees with the White House.

And who is this Anita Dunn, anyway? Well, maybe all we need to know about her is that she is on video saying that two of the people she turns to the most - two of her favorite philosophers - are Mao Zedong and Mother Theresa. When people point out that she praised Chairman Mao, supporters of Dunn's like to point out that she also praised Mother Theresa. Many people don't understand the extent of Mao's violence. He is said to be responsible for the deaths of 30-70 million people through is policies and political purges. In context, and not to belittle the Holocaust in ANY way, but it is said to be responsible for the deaths of 6 million Jews and 5 million others. WWII itself is said to have killed up to 80 Million. So, Chairman Mao? On par with all of WWII. Now, would you accept a public official praising Adolf Hitler and his philosophies and shrugging it off because they said they also liked Mother Theresa?

Other Dunn supporters have said, well, Mao said a lot of things. People quote him all the time and maybe don't even know it. Dunn did not just randomly quote Mao. She said he is one of her favorite philosophers and a person she turns to ALL THE TIME.

Dunn is just another in the string of radicals occupying positions in the White House these days.

Anyway, the White House tried to take this further this week by inviting the media to talk to Pay Czar Kenneth Feinberg who proposed legislation this week to limit salaries of executives from companies that took TARP money. They excluded Fox News.

To the media's credit - and you all know I've been a tough critic of the media - they refused to interview Feinberg unless Fox News was included. Kudos to the main stream media for standing up TO the administration and FOR freedom of the press.

Maybe it was an act of camaraderie among industry players, maybe it was doing what they felt was right, or maybe they understand all too well the potential for political karma to come back and bite them in the ass should a Conservative administration come into power, but whatever the motive, they DID the right thing.

Knowing that a vast majority of the media is liberal, this was nothing short of an attempt by the White House to silence the opposition. Ridicule is a tool the administration uses on a regular basis to delegitimize opposition (as in calling anybody who opposes Obama for any reason a racist, to cite one example), so this was neither new or unexpected.

Remember, the media is our watchdog of the government. If nobody is asking questions, if nobody is taking the government to task, if nobody is presenting opposing viewpoints, then the government can run rampant over us - hang us from the gallows while they tell us they're just fitting us for a new necktie. No matter who you are, which side of the political spectrum you fall, you should be supporting Fox News in this battle. You don't have to watch them, but the minute their right to air opposing viewpoints is snuffed is the minute the government runs the media.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Will We Fail our Founding Fathers?

2009-10-21T09:18:00.008-04:00

I'm currently finishing a book called Patriots: The Men Who Started the American Revolution by A.J. Langguth and I have to say, I've learned a lot about our founding fathers. This isn't the American Revolution we get in school, which goes something like this:

There was a massacre in Boston called the Boston Massacre. There was a revolt in Boston Harbor that wasn't really a tea party, but we called it The Boston Tea Party. People dressed up like Indians. Paul Revere rode a long, long way yelling "The British are coming! The British are coming!" There were a lot of battles and we weren't doing so well. George Washington was in command. Benedict Arnold betrayed him. Washington crossed the Delaware and attacked the British on Christmas night which turned the tide of the war. We won with a little help from the French. Everything was A-OK, all the founding fathers loved one another and agreed 100% on everything, the Declaration of Independence and U.S. Constitution were perfect documents handed down from God (ok, you know I'm exaggerating when I say a school version mentioned God) to Thomas Jefferson and others and were accepted universally in their first draft. America won her independence and now we have fireworks and hot dogs. The end.

The truth is, in fact, much grittier than this. Years before the revolution began, patriots like Samuel Adams, who detested earthly pleasures and, therefore, later had some issues with people like George Washington who seemed to enjoy earthly pleasures, spent a great deal of time stirring the population. They anonymously printed letters with intent to rile up the populace. They skirted the lines of treason and often held British-appointed posts by day, while urging citizens to rise up by night. They hung likenesses of British officials in effigy and were responsible for beatings and the burning down of houses.

This is not to say, by any means, that these were bad people. They felt their rights had been infringed upon. They felt that England did nothing but tax them while offering no representation in Parliament. They felt that the only happy people was a free people. Massachusetts, specifically Boston, really led the way in the fight, but it didn't take long for the other colonies to follow.

Without going into too great a detail, eventually the Continental Congress was formed and the decision to issue a declaration of independence was made. Many people were asked to write the document, Thomas Jefferson being just one. It was, however, Jefferson's version - with some changes that he may not have liked, which was ultimately adopted. He borrowed heavily from earlier philosophers to determine the main point - that men are bestowed upon by their Creator, certain unalienable rights: the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

As the campaign wore on, some of these patriots, who we tend to picture as a whole as our founding fathers, began to be at odds with one another. As an example, George Washington and Alexander Hamilton had a number of disagreements and Washington's failure to appoint Hamilton to a field officer's position in the army caused Hamilton to resign from politics for a while. Jefferson fell from popularity for a while, causing him to return to his farm and family. Samuel Adams and John Adams, cousins whose ideas and actions started the country on the road to freedom, began to be shoved aside by younger minds and voices. Yet, they all fought on, united under one goal: freedom.

The very founding of this country was based on freedom from oppression by the government, maybe not at the barrel of a gun, but at the very least through unfair taxation. Personal property and a person's rights to what he or she has earned was a major driving force. Yet, it's these very things we find ourselves arguing for today.

Our country was not founded on the idea that I get to work as hard as I can, to earn as much as I can, only to have the government take it away from me and give it to somebody else. That is not to say that charity or service are bad things - but they should not be government mandated. Mandates such as those are, unless voted on by the people, theft and infringement upon my liberty. And whether you think somebody has too much money or not, it's not your place, or the place of the government to say, unless that person is being paid with your money (or their money, which is your money). The United States of America is the single, most generous country in the world. What we have donated in dollars, time, and American lives, for our own people and for people around the world FAR surpasses anything any other country can claim. Yet, we're told we don't do enough. We're told by our elected officials that we're selfish. That we're oppressive. And they need to make vast, sweeping changes to offset the horrible nature of our people.

And don't pretend that you're voting on this because you elected an official to office. You elected an official to office because you believed they best represented your needs. Yet, we have some Democrats in Congress who have come out and PUBLICLY STATED that they are NOT going to listen to their constituents regarding healthcare because that Congressman or woman, KNOWS WHAT THE CONSTITUENT NEEDS BETTER THAN THE CONSTITUENT DOES. Is that the type of representation our forefathers envisioned?

And yet, there are some who would say that those ideas from almost 250 years ago are outdated - ideas for a different time. I say those ideas that Franklin, Jefferson, the Adamses, Paine, Hancock and many, many others labored over are TIMELESS. Can the approach be tweaked at times to address a changing, evolving world? Absolutely, but the concepts remain the same. What these men did, whether through writing, organizing, or fighting was not for some fleeting idea. It was not for a fly-by-night regime that wanted to grab power. It was not to get rich (one only has to look at Samuel Adams, one of the first patriots, to see that this could not have possibly been a motivation). It was for an idea - an idea that while many had tried, nobody had yet gotten government right. For an idea that while to be truly free one needed government and laws, that government needed to be held accountable to the people. For an idea that no man has the right to hold sway over another man (unfortunately they fell short here and this wasn't truly corrected until the Civil War and Civil Rights Movement). For an idea that was nothing short of liberty.

Surely, though, - you say - defending your right to do what YOU want with your property is nothing short of selfish, right? There are people that need it more than you. Wrong. Mark Levin makes it very clear why an attack on your personal property is an attack on your liberty:

(I paraphrase) In order to create wealth, and essentially obtain property, I must work. Working takes time. Time away from my family, time away from my home, time away from my other responsibilities or other things I enjoy doing. In essence, working uses up part of my life. So with pieces of my life, I obtain wealth and property. If somebody takes my property away from me, whether to keep for themselves or to give to someone less fortunate, then they are robbing me of a piece of my life. Since no MAN gave me my life, no MAN has the right to take it away. If I should CHOOSE to give money or property to someone else, that is a whole different story, but nobody - NOBODY - has a right to give pieces of my life away.

And nobody understood sacrifice more than the men who fought for the freedom of this country. They would be forced to leave their families, their farms, the comforts of home to go serve in an army where there was not enough food to go around, pay was practically non-existent, and weather conditions sometimes killed more people than the battles did. There was no incentive to fight, except the idea of freedom. The idea that they could make a better life for themselves or, if they should fall in battle, at least for their families.

That concept, of making life better for our families...of allowing our children to live a better life than we did, has always been a central value to the American Dream. Yet, as we speak, it is being ripped from us. The more debt the government puts us into, the less this country will be the wonderful country it's been. Large portions of our country are being bought up by other countries such as China. The value of our dollar is falling. When other countries around the world don't want your currency, your status falls. People are still losing jobs that don't appear to be coming back any time soon. And yet, the government is trying to pass two more HUGE spending bills in healthcare and cap and trade. Our country's debt rises, your taxes rise, your property - your life - is taken from you, our children inherit an America that is a shell of its former glorious self.

I wish every person out there would pick up a book about our founding fathers - about the men they were - their character, the philosophers they followed, the beliefs they held dear - and then, through those lenses, looked at where the country is now. I think if those brave men stood here today, they'd be appalled that the Governor of NJ has spent $25 million dollars on a smear campaign while saying nothing about why we should re-elect him and even refusing to attend public debates. I think they'd be mortified that you needed to be filthy rich to run for office in this country. I think they'd rail against the power lobbyists have in Washington.

But most of all, I think they'd slump to the floor in despair, after seeing that we've allowed the country that they lived and died for to fall back into a sad state of over-taxing without representation - despite the incredible documents they put in place to prevent that from happening. Maybe they'd hit the printing presses again. Maybe they'd take to their horses and rally the troops. Or maybe they'd walk away in disgust.

Either way, it's probably better for some that they're not here. I firmly believe that if George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, John Hancock, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine and all those brilliant men walked into Congress today to demand an accounting of what is going on - Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Barack Obama would call security and have them locked out.

But we'll never know. And that's the way it should be. They left this country in trust to their succeeding generation - and they left it to theirs - and so on, until it reached us. We are the keepers of this great nation, entrusted with the responsibility to ensure that the principles that formed our Republic not only survive, but thrive. We need to make our voices heard. We need to make our representatives listen to us. We no longer have a media to be the watchdog of the government, so we must keep our eyes open and spread the word. We the people are the only ones who can do it now, not the hot-shots in Washington.

We the people.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Tally-(B)HO! Let's Track What the Administration is Up To

2009-10-20T12:38:00.005-04:00

While I've been paying a bit of attention lately to the local stage to try to do my part in making sure we don't have another disastrous four years under Governor Jon Corzine (especially since I unfortunately did my part to put him IN office by voting for him), the national circus has continued. Rather than a long-winded tirade today, let's just do a tally, shall we?

$6,700 - The amount of money PER FAMILY, REGARDLESS OF INCOME, energy prices will increase PER YEAR if Cap and Trade passes. This is not MY estimate, it is that of the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office.

$4,000 - The amount of money insurance premiums will INCREASE under current Healthcare Reform proposals. The same proposals that are supposed to drive down the cost of insurance.

10-15 million - The number of people that will still be left uninsured under current Healthcare Reform proposals. The same proposals that were designed to ensure coverage for EVERYONE. These people will still run to the emergency room, JUST AS THEY DO NOW, when they're sick, driving up the cost for you and me (see previous entry).

Nothing. What will change for the better under any of the current healthcare proposals.

No. What Democrats voted to a Republican proposal to help open up state regulations to allow competition across state lines. The same Democrats who claim more competition is needed in healthcare. Apparently, Government-run competition is the only competition they care to have. There are 500 other Republican amendments and healthcare bills - all of which resulted in the same NO vote.

5x Amount the population of polar bears has INCREASED since the 1960s, despite Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth claiming they're dying off because they're drowning as the polar ice cap melts.

43 Number of Presidents (yes, including George W. Bush and his Iraq war) whose spending you could combine and still not reach the amount of spending Barack Obama has done in 9 months (just a reminder - Obama is the 44th President, so you do the math).

Up. The direction gas prices go as the US dollar falls in value. Oh, and so does the price of everything else. Don't worry, though, something does fall along with the value of the dollar: the United States' standing in the world.

250,000 Number of jobs the administration claims to have created or saved with the stimulus. Problem is, experts agree that there is no way to determine this number - the only thing to really look at is we're still losing hundreds of thousands of jobs a month.

8% The level unemployment was not supposed to cross if we quickly passed the stimulus package. Current level: 9.8 (closer to 17 if you count the people who have given up looking for work).

1 Number of television news outlets that offer an opposing viewpoint to that of the administration. Not-so-ironically, also the number of television news outlets the White House has chosen to publicly attack. If you believe Fox News is the only news with a slant out there, just turn on MSNBC for a minute. Go ahead...look it up...I'm sure your cable company carries it. This is where you find "news" men who get tingles up their legs when Obama speaks, think Rush Limbaugh should be "shot in the head" on national television and much much more.

43 Number of troops that have died in Afghanistan since General McChrystal called for reinforcements. White House trying to make up their mind. It took 5 months to pick the dog, so we can expect many more casualties before they make a decision.

1 Number of times a COMEDY skit has been FACT-CHECKED by a mainstream media outlet. Thanks CNN! If you'd only done this earlier, I would have known that the Coneheads weren't really from France!

2 Number of Obama czars who have now had video surface of them saying they agree with Chairman Mao on some philosphy or other. Does it matter what philosphy? The guy is said to be responsible, through his policies and political purging, for the deaths of anywhere from 40 to 70 million people.

32 Temperature in degrees Fahrenheit in HELL this past Saturday as the NEW YORK TIMES actually claimed Fox News to be the winner in the White House / Fox News battle.

20 Percentage of Republicans sampled in a recent Washington Post/ABC poll that said the majority of Americans wanted a public option in healthcare. 20% doesn't exactly seem balanced.

1 Number of United States Constitutions that will be overridden by the treaty Barack Obama is set to sign in Copenhagen regarding climate change action. Oh, that's right, we only HAVE 1 US Constitution. Problem is, folks, any international treaties we sign supercede it. The goal of this treaty - and I've been reading it - is to redistribute the wealth of developed nations (namely the U.S.) to developing nations, as a penalty for all the horrible CO2 we've produced over the years.

2.2 And, just as a reminder, the number of jobs Spain lost for every job Cap and Trade created. That's what we need Mr. President - policies that are going to kill even more jobs!

Ahh, the Obama Administration. The gift that keeps on giving.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Breaking News: Large Hadron Collider is Secret Manager of Goldie Wilson's Mayoral Campaign

2009-10-19T09:38:00.005-04:00

You know it's going to be a good week when you wake up to read news reports that some people believe that the Large Hadron Collider didn't work because...it traveled back in time to destroy itself.

Just sit back and revel in that for a minute. I mean, could it be true? I guess in the sense that nothing is impossible, sure. Are the people claiming this most likely whack-jobs who watched Terminator one too many times? I'd put my money on that one.

Now - a little backstory for those that missed it. The Large Hadron Collider, or LHC as it's known at cocktail parties, is a really big particle accelerator somewhere in Europe. By really big, I mean the loop runs a number of miles. By somewhere in Europe, I mean it doesn't matter because some people believe that once this thing gets going it's going to cause a black hole that will swallow the planet anyway, so it could be buried under the ice in Antarctica for all it matters. And by Particle Accelerator, I mean...um...

Anyway, proponents of the collider dismiss claims that it will create a black hole and swallow the Earth. They have been quoted as saying things such as, "It's only a small black hole," and "Ha, ha, fools, soon my LHC will be up and running and you and your pathetic race will cease to exist! Then we will be the sole rulers of the universe!" So, I see no reason to worry. Besides, anybody who saw the new Star Trek knows you can't create a black hole without that cool red goo that, while powerful enough to open a black hole, can be contained within a glass jar or a syringe.

The purpose of this LHC, if you believe the supporters, is to smash a few atoms to find what is called The God Particle - also known as the Higgs boson. This particle is said to have been present at the Big Bang. The Big Bang (warning, make sure your adult content filters are ON if you want to Google the Big Bang) is, according to eyewitness reports and various dawn of time blogs, said to be the birth of our universe.

Okay, is everybody following along?

Well, this LHC was all set to start up last year and something broke. Never mind the fact that you can't buy a car without a broken dashboard button or malfunctioning seat positioner, the going theory is that this miles-long, freezing cold, mass of metal and wiring was sabotaged by itself - from the future.

Now, most of you will expect me to work in some Back to the Future reference here, but I refuse to stoop to such levels while discussing such a serious matter. The fact is, the LHC did NOT travel back in time intent on destroying itself (let's not even BEGIN to discuss the time paradox implications there), it actually traveled back in time to give itself a Sports Almanac so it could become rich and take over Hill Valley.

Damn. Sorry.

Scientists, thank goodness, are hard at work trying to get this thing up and running and I say, not a moment too soon! We're in the midst of a serious Large Hadron Collider shortage in this world - so get to it!

Now, obviously, there's a lot of sarcasm in this post. For one, I don't think waking up to this story has anything to do with the rest of the week, unless, of course, I traveled back in time to make myself read the story to set the tone for my week. And then there's....well, no, I guess that's it. Everything else is pretty serious.

I take my time travel very seriously, in fact - from Back to the Future to Terminator, the lesson is always: don't mess with the past, though there is always disagreement over whether we can actually change the past or not. How it happens is always different - a flux capacitor, futuristic technology, becoming unstuck in time and popping up at various times in your own life (Slaughterhouse Five or more recently The Butterfly Effect) or in your own lifetime, but in somebody else's life (Quantum Leap). Love stories have used time travel as a vehicle, both good (Somewhere in Time) and bad (Peggy Sue Got Married). Lost flirted with time travel last season, while Flash Forward uses a brief look into the future as the driving force behind all of its events this season. Superman made it happen by circling the Earth and making it rotate backward, and a pirate and a young boy used their Omni to fix mistakes in history on Voyagers in the 80s. We have a fascination with time travel, for some reason, that seems to run as strong as our obsession with vampires.

We seem to love vampires because the idea of eternal life is, regardless of all the blood-drinking, murder, and only being able to work the night shift, enticing. Time travel seems to have a hold on us for two reasons: one - if we can travel to the past we can fix our mistakes or stop terrible things from happening and two - if we can travel to the future, we can eliminate the fear of the unknown.

I'm pretty sure a Large Hadron Collider does not worry about any of these things, though the believers here argue it is not the collider itself, but the universe actually reaching back in time to protect its own existence. Some reports say that every time they try to turn it on, a naked man appears in an energy orb, cuts the power cord, then hurls himself into a nearby vat of molten steel. The scientists running the LHC plan to attempt to capture him next time they try to start it up to find out if he's from the future - plus, they've assigned a committee to determine why it is they have a large vat of molten steel. Only the future holds the truth.

Pretty heavy stuff.

You keep saying that! Is there something wrong with the earth's gravitational pull in the future?

Damn it. I did it again.

*Warning: If you have not seen the Back to the Future movies, large chunks of what I write - on a daily basis - will not make sense to you.

*Additional Warning: If you have seen the Back to the Future movies, large chunks of what I write - on a daily basis - will not make sense to you.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Reversing the "Nanny-State" Trend

2009-10-15T10:11:00.002-04:00

I'm a father of two: a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son. I wish I could be there every moment of every day to protect them, but I know in reality that can't happen. I also know that while it would make me feel better, in the long run it would hurt the children because they would not develop any sense of independence or the means of being able to learn from life's lessons.

The problem is that in this day and age, we fear the bogeyman around every corner. Every car passing on the street is a stranger waiting to snatch our kids from us. I know, I saw Adam - the story of Adam Walsh who was kidnapped and later found dead; the boy whose father, John Walsh, subsequently went on a crusade against child predators and wanted criminals (eventually starting the show America's Most Wanted. It terrified me as a child and it terrifies me now as an adult. We think every grown man within 100 yards of our children is a pedophile. We've seen how prevalant they are in our society. We've watched Dateline's To Catch a Predator series. Amber alerts are on the highways, in our emails, on our cell phones.

The problem is a very real problem, in a sense, but it's also a manifestation of our collective imagination. I heard a statistic on The John Gambling Show this morning that said that in order for your child to be abducted by a complete stranger, you'd have to leave them on the street for.....750,000 years. Now, of course, that's statistically speaking. Go leave them in the middle of a carnival or some other heavily-populated area with minimal security and I'm sure the chances skyrocket, but playing in the front yard? Not quite as bad as we imagine.

And, I've experienced this paranoia first-hand. When my children play in the backyard, I can't take my eyes off them - and it's fenced in and pretty child-friendly. My neighbor's girls came over last week to play with my daughter and I had to go watch them walk back to their house - right next door - in order to feel comfortable when they left. In turn, my daughter was playing in their backyard a few days ago and the father sent his older daughter over to ring the bell and make sure she got home okay after she left.

Are we crazy or just careful?

Well, I think a little of both, but it's hard - when it comes to your own children - to back off. What damage, though, are we causing by coddling them like this? Are we preparing them for life or are we sheltering them from it? Are we helping them to cope by not allowing teams to keep score in sports and giving every child a trophy? What happens when they get to the real world and they have to discover that not everything is handed to them - that, sometimes, somebody's got to lose?

Well, statistics show that more college freshman are having breakdowns. More than ever, kids are going away to school and collapsing under the stress. Many are not prepared for hard work, academic pressure, peer competition, and so on.

This, in the end, illustrates a trend in our country toward the "Nanny State". It starts at childhood and now, as those children become adults, they expect everything to be handed to them. Is it any wonder we expect the government to provide us with "free healthcare"? Is it any wonder we expect bank loans even if we can't afford to pay them back? Is it any wonder we expect credit card companies to accept a fraction of the money that we owe them because we're having tough times? Is it any wonder we expect good jobs, excellent compensation, and great benefits even if we're mediocre - or just plain bad - at our jobs? Is it any wonder we expect our kids to graduate even if they're incapable of passing tests? Is it any wonder we blame schools when our children don't behave or perform properly, instead of blaming ourselves? Is it any wonder we sue anybody and everybody we can sue? Is it any wonder we've actually awarded compensation to criminals who get hurt on the property on which they're committing the crime? Is it any wonder some of our prisons have better accommodations than some of our nursing homes and veterans' hospitals?

Our country has a growing population of citizens that ooze political correctness, subsist off entitlements, and shy away from hard work. It is a bad trend that's not confined to any one race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. It's widespread and it's eroding the strength of our nation. We used to worry that we were getting soft because we liked to sit around on the couch, eat chips, and watch too much TV. Now, we're getting soft because we're training our children to BE soft. The going term for those incoming college freshmen I mentioned earlier is "Teacups". Does that conjure a vision of strength? No, it conjures an image of something that looks nice, but is very, very fragile.

I'm going to do my part to make sure my children aren't "Teacups", that they are strong and self-sufficient. They'll always know I'm there to support them and love them, but they're going to learn to be able to help themselves, because without being able to help yourself you can't help others. There will always be vulnerable people in our society - young children, the elderly, the sick, the handicapped - who need our assistance, but life is like the emergency oxygen on an airplane: you have to first make sure your mask is secure before you try to help anyone else. If not, you end up with two victims instead of none.

We must stop being the victims and take control of our lives, because for every one thing on which we depend on someone else, a liberty is lost. Our Declaration of Independence states that we are bestowed with unalienable right by our Creator to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Now, if you're religious than that Creator is your God. If you're not, than that Creator is the mere fact of your existence. What it's saying is that we, just by being born, have the right to these three things. And, since no person or government GAVE us those rights, they have no authority to take them away. There's only two ways they can go away - one, to be taken back by our creator - essentially death; and two, to give them up - to cede them to another entity - essentially, varying degrees of slavery. When you allow yourself to depend on the government to feed you, house you, say what medical care you can have, what type of car you can drive, how you can raise your children, and more, you cede these unalienable rights.

We need to regain that mindset of the American Dream - that if you work hard, you can achieve anything you want to achive; that there will be bumps along the way and some failures, too; that you cannot appreciate something unless you've earned it. It's the best service we can do for our children.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Corzine Needs to Go

2009-10-14T08:52:00.003-04:00

You might hear a lot of "New Jersey" in the next couple of weeks, but that's because we are headed toward election day and NJ is one of only 2 states whose governorship is on the table. This could be the most important gubernatorial election for NJ in recent history, at least, because what we're facing is the very real possibility that a man who has done nothing but break promises and bleed this state dry over the past four years may win re-election because of a few things:

1) Voter exasperation. Voters in NJ have given up and resigned themselves to the fact that no matter who is in office, the state will remain corrupt and almost impossible to afford.

2) Money. Corzine is spending much more money than his opponents in what has been one of the worst smear campaigns that I can remember. Both parties have attacked, but when you're the incumbent there can be only ONE reason why you're not touting your accomplishments: you don't have ANY. Smear is a way to shift the focus away from your lack of achievement (oh, and it's not just Corzine's money he's using to campaign; according to documents uncovered yesterday by The Jersey Guys on NJ101.5, Corzine's camp has instructed department heads to create events to showcase Corzine's committment to creating private sector jobs - even if the events are a 'stretch' - this is being done on YOUR dime, NJ voter, and may actually be illegal).

3) Indifference. People don't care or understand the issues. Some are falling for the signs that show Christie's face next to Bush's and Corzine next to (actually behind) Obama. You'd think this was the 2008 Presidential election (yes, I know Bush didn't run in 2008, but some would have you believe it was Obama vs. Bush).

But don't worry, if you like increased property taxes, increased tolls, $10 billion dollar defecits and a mass exodus of both residents and businesses from your state, then Corzine is your guy!

He says he's working hard every day now for the endorsement of the public (which would take place at the polls). Now? Well, what about your first four years in office? You could have gained public endorsement by doing something that was good for the people of NJ.

But he's done good, right? We have the highest graduation rate of any state right?

Wrong. That graduation rate includes (and the numbers may be SLIGHTLY off, but I'll show you where to go to find out more) 44% that cannot pass a high school proficiency test, but get handed diplomas anyway. Well, that's one way to keep your numbers up! Why do this? Well, let's look at Camden. Jon Corzine, our esteemed Governor, actually has control over the Camden schools. The better the graduation rate, the more money he can pump into these programs and these areas which are strong Democratic voting bases. So, what's wrong with fudging a few numbers right? (For more information on this, see The Cartel, which opened in select NJ theaters last week).

The corruption in this state needs to stop. I mean, how many taxpayer dollars went into the police escort for Corzine's CAMPAIGN BUS - not Corzine himself - this morning on the NJ Turnpike. Oh, it wasn't just any escort, it was the kind that swerves back and forth to prevent any traffic on the highway (at least according to eyewitness reports). The man has an ego bigger than..well, than Barack Obama's.

And don't forget one last, VERY IMPORTANT thing: all that Corzine did to give the people of NJ the shaft over the past 4 years, he did with the thought in the back of his head that he'd be trying to get re-elected. Think about what he'll do when he doesn't have to consider the impact on his re-election any longer.

Frightening.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Years after 9/11, Jim's is still oppressed by paralyzing flashbacks to the events that destroyed his life. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Wake Up New Jersey, Before It's Too Late

2009-10-13T09:55:00.005-04:00

Sometimes you have to wonder if it's really stupidity or if it's just boredom.

I heard on the news a few mornings ago that, apparently, more people are competing for the same jobs - a recent study showed.

Hmm. Really.

So, what you're saying is when unemployment keeps growing and new job creation is not occurring, that more people end up competing for the same jobs. More resumes come in for the same position.

Who woulda thunk? Come on. That's worth reporting? There isn't anybody who doesn't know unemployment is near 10% (closer to 17% if you count the people who have given up actively seeking a job) and no new jobs are being created, so how is this news? It's just rearranging words to have something to fill time. Like this:

This just in, incoming resume volumes have increased at both small and large companies to fill the few available positions.

See - nothing new, I just restated it. Lazy, lazy reporting.

Of course, the rest of the report was about the horrendous governor's campaign that's going on in the great state of NJ. Seriously, what a bunch of idiots we've been saddled with.

Corzine has had 4 years to do what? Prove his ineffectiveness, his ability to pander to state workers' unions at the expense of NJ citizens, to break every promise he's ever made, and hone his means of deception.

Chris Christie had the perfect opportunity handed to him, but he's squandered it by not giving anybody anything to believe in. I still support him because he's an unknown that COULD be good for the state while Corzine is known to be bad.

Then there's independent Chris Dagget. Right now, he's playing the spoiler to, apparently, Christie. He might have some decent ideas, though he's also planning on raising a lot of other taxes to cut property taxes instead of making the difficult cuts in spending I believe NJ residents are ready for, but the chances of him winning are worse than Al Gore admitting man-made global warming is a farce.

And, of course, the NJ Star Ledger knows this. As much of a shill for Corzine as they've been, they came out last week endorsing Dagget. It looks like they're not favoring Corzine - to maybe save some of their reputation? - but in the end, that's exactly what they're doing. I don't know when newspapers began the practice of endorsing candidates, but I said this during the Presidential election - it removes any facade of objectivity whatsoever. It should not be allowed.

This state needs a change. Corzine needs to go. All you need to remember is that he promised to cut our property taxes by 10% every year and instead, they've increased, he's raised our sales tax to give us rebates, then took away the rebates. He tried to raise the tolls 800% (still managed to double them) and the 'cuts' he's made have been things like union pension payment DEFERRALS which means we'll have to pay them with interest.

And the best his campaign can come up with against Christie is he got out of a speeding ticket and he's fat??

Please, NJ. Wake up, before it's too late.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Tower Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

This Is What I Do For A Living - No Stress......

2009-10-12T10:42:00.004-04:00

Perhaps I'm not the best at picking up subtle hints, but I think I finally got the message last night when I woke up to find my wife putting a pillow over my face in her "sleep". Sure, she says she was just readjusting, but is that all it was? Looking back, I'm not so sure. I mean, Did she really mistake that box of rat poison for corn starch last week? I'm starting to question that. And that anvil hanging over the front door - just decoration? I mean, now that I think about it, who really has an anvil?

So, as I was driving down the street away from home this morning, I was thinking about this. Concerned, I decided it would be best to turn around and go talk to her. Maybe something is bothering her. Oddly enough, my brakes weren't working and instead of turning around, I crashed into a tree. Seriously, what a bad time for my brakes to go.

Okay, so maybe only SOME of that is true. I'm pretty sure she's NOT trying to kill me and I have made it out of this weekend no worse for wear (except for an injury to my finger I still can't explain, but holy Hell it's excruciating). I got to spend Saturday at a training I set up for my workers on electrical Arc Flash protection. Trust me, nothing wakes you up on a Saturday morning like a video of a man getting vaporized by an Arc Flash. Vaporized. Nothing left. Caught on security camera. Hell, if you got hit with an explosion that reaches temperatures 4x the surface of the sun, sends shrapnel flying at you at 700mph, and vaporizes toxic chemicals so that you can breathe them in nice and easy, you'd want to be vaporized. This, folks, is my job. This is what I am expected to prevent (well, among lots of other things - my wife likes to tease that I tell people to wear their safety glasses and tie their shoes). Let me let you see the video:

Arc Flash While Racking a Breaker - Watch the best video clips here

So, the next time you give your safety guy a hard time because he wants you to wear hearing protection, remember that there's a lot more to his job than that. This was not done properly. Improper personal protection, working with a live load, closed doors that contained the concussion of the blast, and on and on.

Though, I am second guessing posting this. It might give my wife more ideas...

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of all profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

And the Award Goes To....Barack Obama???

2009-10-09T08:37:00.004-04:00

Ok, now I'm just confused. I thought it was just in America where people had gone insane and thought the President was the savior, but apparently it's extended to the Nobel Prize committee.

Look, first - congratulations to President Obama for winning the Nobel Peace Prize. It's a big honor to win something like that and, often, I'd say a major achievement. But, therein lies the problem - the award has ALWAYS been about achievement, not the promise of achievement and - to the best of my knowledge, the President hasn't exactly achieved anything yet. This is like giving the acadamy award for best actor to Brad Pitt because he says he's going to make a really good movie next year, has maybe even started production, and promises to bring an Oscar-worthy performance. Well, that's all well and good, but shouldn't we see the result first?

Here's what Obama has done...or not done...so far:

1) Promised to close Guantanamo Bay - but hasn't done it and is hinting that it will not be done by the timeline he set.

2) Extended indefinite detention for some terrorists.

3) Not made any massive withdrawal from Iraq as he swore he would.

4) Increased troop levels in Afghanistan and now is letting soldiers continue to die without proper support while he takes his time mulling over his General's request and devises a strategy - though that might have been something he wanted to think about for the last 9 months.

5) Divided his country over healthcare by allowing Congress to write the bill and not knowing what it contained, by endorsing a cap and trade bill that promises to increase energy costs to every family by $6700 a year according to the Congressional Budget Office - regardless of income, by passing massive spending packages that have not done anything, by allowing race-baiting and racist accusations to be accepted attacks on people with legitimate concerns excercising their constitutional rights, and so on.

6) Allowed Iran to run roughshod over us (and its own people) while threatening Israel - one of our most faithful allies. Alienating other allies while pandering to South American dictators. Allowed North Korea to make us look like fools on the national stage. Making former Soviet bloc countries feel abandoned by us.

7) But hey, he TALKED about nuclear disarmament (we won't go into here why this is such a HORRIBLE idea - I've covered it before - but the point is, he hasn't ACHIEVED nuclear disarmament, he's only talked about it).

So, again, where is the achievement? Does the fact that he appointed the first Latina to the US Supreme Court warrant a Nobel Peace Prize? Does the fact that he reads really well off a teleprompter deserve it? Is it his failed bid for the Olympics or maybe it's the beer he had with Officer Crowley and Professor Gates (to quell a national uproar HE caused by speaking admittedly without knowledge of the facts of the incident)?

And, while I'm sure I'll have my share of Liberals say to me - yeah, but this was Bush's fault, or look what Bush did here or there, the point is - they DIDN'T give Bush the award, so that covers all the things he did or didn't do.

So I ask, what the hell is going on?

Well, maybe I'll figure it out later. For now, I'm going to watch TV. Apparently, President Obama just won the NFL MVP, shattering Peyton Manning's hopes of a 3-peat.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will go to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

10 Things the Government Won't Tell You

2009-10-05T11:00:00.006-04:00

Just to give you a little insight into how my mind works (brace yourself), I just finished reading an article on MSN titled, "10 Things Gas Stations Won't Tell You". It took me a few minutes to force my brain past the idea that gas stations don't talk, but what was really telling was that by the time I got to the first paragraph of the article I had concocted my own list. I don't know if I came up with 10, but I know two of them were "Your fly is down" and "Yes, your ass does look fat in those jeans."

Apparently, this was not the direction the article was taking. Sure, there article had some useful information, but I think mine was more accurate. A gas station will NOT tell you these things, just as it will not tell you that you're lousy in bed or you need a better mouthwash before you come to work in the morning. I'd take those sage revelations any day over the fact that brand name gas is higher because they can't shop around.

However, the list did inspire me to come up with an article of my own:

10 Things the US Government Won't Tell You

1) 47% of Americans pay NO federal income tax. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. I know what you're thinking - those damned rich people! Guess again. This comes from all walks of life, but many are lower income and many of those somehow receive tax REFUNDS. How is it again that you get a refund when you don't pay anything?

2) Jeanine Garofalo is a jackass. Sure, you might hear it if somebody happens to record it without the president knowing a la Kanye West, but they're not going to come right out and tell you. By the way, she's just the latest in a long line of celebrities who feel it is their duty to talk down the American people (many of whom voted FOR Barack Obama) and claim they are racist for opposing terrible healthcare legislation.

3) Some legislation for healthcare doesn't even do what it's intended to do. Universal coverage? Well sure, we'll fine anybody who doesn't get covered. Except poor people. So they won't get coverage. Then they'll go to the emergency room and get treatment, driving up the costs for everybody else. Wait, that's what's happening already. So, what's the point of this legislation again?

4) There are no aliens or UFOs at Roswell. There is only bacon. Lots and lots of bacon. A country has to be prepared!

5) There are now officially more czars than there are nuclear weapons worldwide. Should the world agree to total nuclear disarmament, the plan will be to build really large catapults and launch czars at offending countries.

6) Saturday Night Live did a sketch mocking Obama. The gist? That all those right-wingers who claim he's destroyed our country are wrong because he hasn't actually succeeded at anything. The government will not tell you this and are counting on the fact that nobody has watched SNL since it stopped being funny sometime in the 80s to keep the sketch relatively quiet.

7) That though the terms are being used interchangeably to describe a government bent on absorbing large parts of the economy and getting involved in aspects of our lives we don't want it involved in, there is a difference between Marxism, Communism, Socialism, Facism, and the like. They won't tell you this because by using them interchangeably, the right gives the left a way to try to distract from the actual argument by calling people stupid for not knowing the difference. Kind of like how they use the race card to distract. And how they use the word teabaggers to discredit a powerful, patriotic movement. And how sometimes they don't wear pants.

8) That while, yes, there may be some white people who don't like Barack Obama because he is black, there are some black people who didn't like George Washington through George W. Bush just because they were white. This doesn't make those people the majority, the voices of reason, or influential leaders; it makes them ignorant racists no matter what side they're on.

9) That rape is rape and there's no such thing as rape-rape. Sorry Whoopi, you've just taken the reins of the jackass club with Kanye and Jeanine Garofalo paling in comparison. This might not have anything to do with the government, but it had to be said.

10) That every Tuesday is two-for-one margaritas at the White House. It's not a state secret or anything, but the crowds would just be huge if that got out.

So open your eyes! And don't wait for the government to tell you anything, because they won't!

Oh, and by the way, your ass DOES look fat in those jeans. Sorry.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

What To Do When The Chips Are Down? Sulking Is Always An Option.

2009-09-29T08:29:00.004-04:00

Today is one of those days where I want to write a blog, but have such a jumbled conglomeration of ideas in my head that I can't decide which way to go. I could go federal and discuss the fact that General McChrystal, the current Commander of US Forces in Afghanistan, has now spoken to 60 minutes as many times as he has spoken to the President in the last 70 days; or, I could go local, and complain that NJ voters are on the verge of allowing arguably the worst governor in state history to get re-elected because of inaction, lethargy, and loss of hope; or I could go non-politic and talk about the amazing ability of sight reading music which would be odd, because until moments ago, I didn't even know such an ability existed, or had a name. After a little research, though, I found out it does exist and sight reading music would be an awesome gift to have - it would tie in nicely with my desire to play an instrument I've mentioned a few times lately.

Alas, none of these is striking a chord today. Which is fine, because really how often do you get to say 'alas'?

Oh, I know! It's been a long time since I've reminded you just how bad my luck is when it comes to gambling, so I can tell you all about the poker tournament I played in on Saturday night. The one in which I was knocked out because a guy called my Ace-Ten with a Three-Five because he didn't have any money left so he figured What the hell? The one where, a moment later, a three and a five were turned over on the flop giving him a winning two-pair in a hand he would have folded had he had even one or two more chips left. Go ahead, now. Laugh at my expense.

Okay, it's not that funny. Settle down.

Geez.

Sadists.

Anyway, now that I'm in a completely bad mood, I'm going to go sulk. I'll probably take a little time off from poker to regroup and maybe take up a new hobby I can be equally terrible at, like sight reading music.

At least I can fail at that for free.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Transparency? To Quote the Princess Bride: I Do Not Think That Means What You Think It Means

2009-09-28T08:28:00.006-04:00

I love observing human behavior. Maybe I'm just a sucker for the anthropological nuances demonstrated through our simple actions or, even more so, by seemingly inexplicable, irrational behavioral traits, or, maybe I'm just lazy and like to sit around and stare. Either way, people do interesting things.

Take this situation I watched unfold last week:

On Friday, my company offered free flu shots. While waiting in line, each person was required to fill out a form and separate it from the rest of the sheet of paper. There was no perforation, so a scissor was placed on the table to allow people to remove the form without having to tear it.

As I stood on line, one man left the area and returned with a razor knife - the kind which requires you to unscrew the casing to remove the blade. He proceeded to pick up the scissor and use its blade to unscrew the casing of the razor knife. I assumed he had an important need for the razor knife. After a five minute struggle, the casing was open, the blade set in place and the scissor once again used to put the casing back together. When this was accomplished, he placed his form on the table, and sliced it apart with the razor knife.

As he saw the wondrous look on my face, he explained - while holding his jagged-edged form - that he wanted to be able to cut it in a straight line. I just nodded and said, "Congratulations."

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: there's always a moral to a good J.E. Braun anecdote (though I'm not even remotely sure what might have given you that impression, you're still thinking it). You're thinking that I'm about to tell you how this situation parallels our government's approach to healthcare, right?

I mean, if this guy is the government and the separation of the form is healthcare reform, then it's a good metaphor. The simple answer - the scissors - are in the government's hands. In fact, they mention the simple answers all the time: portability, tort reform, ending waste and fraud in Medicare (supposedly simple since they plan on just grabbing that money to pay for the new healthcare system), coverage for people with pre-existing conditions. Yet, when faced with simple answers, they complicate the situation by taking what sounds like a much better tool - the razor knife, spending loads of time and effort on it, never realizing that it is absolutely unnecessary and will, in the end, produce an inferior result (the jagged edge).

Frankly, I'm not that insightful. I just told you the story because it made me laugh, but now that I think about it, that healthcare thing was good!

I'm not sure, though, that fancy metaphors that put Washington's actions into perspective are even necessary anymore. Each day, the Democrats in the House and the Senate show their disdain for the American people. Take this example - last week, the Senate Finance Committee shot down a Republican amendment that would have required them to post any bill online in its full legal language - not just some conceptual summary that might not tell the whole story - for 72 hours before any vote. I guess Candidate Obama's promise of transparency was nothing but words. The House is now working on a similar resolution and Queen Pelosi has indicated she does not like it. The Republicans will try to force the issue if they can get 218 votes - they were in the 170s at last count. The resolution would also require Congress to post the Congressional Budget Office estimate with the bill. God forbid that information get out, right?

In addition, remember that whole "You lie!" thing from a few weeks back...when President Obama was giving his speech to the joint session of Congress and he said this healthcare bill would not cover illegal aliens? You might have heard about it. Joe Wilson was censured by House Democrats. Yeah? Well, remember how everybody said Wilson was crazy and the President was right, but then the Dems went back and made amendments to the bill so that illegal aliens wouldn't be covered? Uh huh. Well, now, a group of 20 Democrats is trying to push through an amendment to get illegal aliens coverage. These people are not legally in our country. They have skirted the law, overburdened our healthcare systems and continue to rely on services paid for by you and me and they don't pay a dime! I'm not sure about you, but I know that if I broke the law, I would get free healthcare, too - because I'd be in JAIL. Now, these Democrats want to not only ignore our immigration laws, but they also want these illegals to get coverage. I'm just curious, at what point do we stop coddling people who are breaking the law? Many LEGAL immigrants work at my company - and many of them have taken the proper path to become American Citizens. They abhor the treatment these illegal immigrants receive. But our legislator wants to continue to pass laws to protect them. Why?

Simple. Soon, President Obama begins pushing the issue of amnesty for illegals. If he gets that passed, that's a hell of a lot more votes for him and any other Democrat that helped pass this through. Offer healthcare benefits, driver's licenses, housing assistance, free education and you entice more and more future Democrat voters to cross the border. Once again, they are using an entire group of people and forsaking our nation's laws to gain political advantage.

But hey, I'm just selfish. I mean, let's let them all come over with no consequences. I mean, we have plenty of jobs, right? American unemployment is at an all time low. There aren't any Americans that need jobs. And we have plenty of doctors, support staff, etc. to take care of them. But somehow, if I feel granting amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants is wrong - if I feel we shouldn't be providing them healthcare and other services at the expense of legal American citizens and other legal residents, I'm a...you guessed it...racist.

At what point in our history was it that our elected representatives began putting the well-being of American Citizens - the people who put them in office - on the back burner? The idea that we have representation in Congress is a farce - one supported by the fact that the Senate plans to use reconciliation to pass healthcare - a method to allow them pass it with 51 votes instead of the fillibuster-proof 60 - despite the fact that only 41% of Americans support the bill in the latest Rasmussen poll (a new low).

They know better than us. That's what they're telling us. They're smarter than us and know what's good for us, even if the truth of the matter is rising costs, taxes and penalties (or possible arrest if you refuse to get healthcare coverage), and inferior care - they know better. And maybe it's true. Maybe we should sit back and let them open the razor knife with the scissor so they can cut that piece of paper, because obviously that's the intelligent thing to do. What do we know? We're just a bunch of rubes who would have probably used the scissor to cut the paper. How could they possibly trust us to have good judgement on our own?

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

A New Viagra Cream? Thank Goodness! I Don't Get Enough Spam! (Oh, and Some Politics, Too)

2009-09-25T09:28:00.006-04:00

So, there's a new super Viagra coming out, that has proven to be effective in some large percentage of mice. It's a rub-on cream.

To tell you the truth, I am just too damned lazy to make a joke about this while I know each and every one of you already has one swirling around in your demented little heads, so go ahead, insert joke here.

Sometimes, life just tosses you a meatball so perfect you don't have to hit it out of the park - it kind of hits itself out of the park for you.

In other news, President Obama today told the G-20 that Iran has a secret nuclear program! What?? Really?? But, but...um...we trusted them! Oh, I feel so betrayed. I can't believe Ahmadinejad would do such a thing! How could we not have known...

What? Oh, we did?

Ok. Well, at least we admit it now. Maybe now we can speak out against the totalitarian, murderous regime in that country? Maybe now we can denounce their fraudulent elections that millions took to the streets in protest over - and many lost their lives for? Maybe we can do that now? And while we're at it, can we maybe re-think our Honduran strategy? Maybe, when a country's President's term in office is over and he tries to override the country's constitution despite the fact that the people, legislative body, and military have all clearly stated that he may not extend term limits and they have no desire for him to extend term limits, we should take the side of the people, legislative body, and military who are standing up for their rights and their freedom, rather than supporting a would-be dictator that is following the same path to power as the Hugo Chavezes of the world? (Holy crap that was a long sentence).

Maybe?

I'm not holding my breath.

I would like to throw a challenge out there, though. I'd like you to go out now and find for me one person who lived in Soviet Russia or under Fidel's thumb in Cuba, who now lives here in the United States and is not scared by the direction in which our government is taking us. Go ahead, I'll wait. Go, scoot. Back already? Find anyone? Look, I will grant you the fact that I have by no means spoken to a large number of these people, but I have spoken to some here at my job and I have heard many others speak out in public, decrying what is happening to the US. They use words like disgrace, shame, and deja vu. They see eerie parallels between their current and their former lives. They don't understand how we can't see this - why more people aren't adamantly opposing this President's policies. If it's not the current administration's intention to turn us into a socialist or communist nation like their homelands, they say, these policies certainly pave the way for anybody who does wish to do so.

But far be it from us to listen to somebody with experience. Frankly, the majority of the country rejected the idea of experience when they elected Barack Obama president. Our national motto should now be, "Style Over Substance." Instead of listening to these people, let's just laugh off their concern and the concern of anybody who happens to believe them. Let's ridicule those that reject the "It can't happen here" attitude. Let's alienate those who have lived it and are noting disturbing similarities. Let's continue to ram through sweeping change and massive government intervention without knowing what we're doing. Let's continue to commit billions and trillions of dollars in capital to programs that don't work, or are not designed to achieve their stated purpose, or are proven to achieve the opposite of what the government claims (such as the CBO stating that the proposed healthcare legislation will INCREASE costs of healthcare and will, in fact, cut Medicare Advantage benefits), and while we're at it, let's continue to push a program that will impose a huge new tax on Americans, while doing nothing to improve the environment (a sentiment shared by organizations such as Greenpeace), and is based on science which is refuted by a new study practically every day.

It's time we stopped this, "But we have to do something!" approach, and regained a "Let's do the right thing" approach. We've been doing this since the President declared he was closing Guantanamo Bay - a policy, by the way, the White House is admitting to screwing up (by not listening to advisors who said trying to close in a year was a bad idea and by not having a plan for relocating the terrorists).

The point is: at what point do we learn our lesson? I choose to listen to those with experience. I choose to listen to facts. I choose to not make sweeping legislation until the science is concrete. I choose not to believe a debate is over just because Al Gore proclaims it to be over. I choose to listen to non-partisan experts whose sole purpose it is to give us the advice and estimations the administration is so flippantly dismissing.

I also choose to be smart enough to know that anything Joe Biden says is wrong (he says he never thought the stimulus would work this well!! Great Joe. Hey, by the way, where are the jobs (if we recall, the stimulus was supposed to keep us from going past 8% unemployment - we're at 9.7% and growing if you DON'T count the people who are so discouraged they've stopped looking - which would put us closer to 15-16%)? Also, just so you know, durable goods orders have had their worst performance since January with an unexpected 2.4% drop. Excellent analysis, Mr. Vice President. Excellent analysis.

Well, at least the President turned a corner and spoke out against Iran. Granted he said something we've all been saying for a long time, but at least he did it at a the G20 Summit - the biggest event with the largest audience he could find.

What's that? He spoke in front of the United Nations General Assembly two days ago? Oh. Yeah, I guess that's a big platform too. Really big.

I guess we just have to accept the fact that this President isn't brave enough to say something potentially confrontational. I know it sounds like I'm really harping on his wishy-washiness - really rubbing it in, but if he could just be firm, we wouldn't have to rub it in.

Hey, there's my viagra punchline!

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he struggles to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Dear Mr. President, You're Beginning to Give Me a Complex. Signed, The United States

2009-09-24T12:43:00.005-04:00

Well, it's a damned good thing our President got out there yesterday and reminded the world just how much we suck. I mean, seriously, it's been a couple of days since he's done that. If it weren't for him, some country somewhere might have begun to believe that maybe the United States and its people were...good. But no. We suck. And even though you shouldn't be waiting for the US to fix the world's problems, we completely understand how we've caused those problems and why you want to kill us.

THIS, folks - not Barack Obama's eloquence, brave leadership, or compassion - but THIS drivel, is why people like Mo..Moa...Moma...Mo...Mua... Oh hell, Qaddafi..right? Or is it Kadaffi? Khaddafi? el-Qaddafi? Gaddafi? Screw it, let's call him C.Mo. as in Colonel Mo. So anyway, THIS drivel is why people like C.Mo. say Obama should be President for life. See, Obama is up there saying the same thing C.Mo. is: that America is inherently evil and is filled with bad, greedy people who would like to rule the world.

Let's forget the fact that it was our intervention that stopped the spread of Nazism sixty years ago. That's ancient history, right? Let's forget that it was Reagan's policies and resolve that gave nations of the Soviet bloc the determination to be free and eventually brought down the Soviet empire. Still, that was a long time ago. Let's forget that many of the scientific and medical breakthroughs that have occurred in modern times have come from us. Let's ignore all the humanitarian aid we give to foreign countries. Let's ingore all that, because we are evil.

We're also imperialistic. Despite the fact that Imperialism denotes expanding an empire through the occupying of or acquisition of land, we are imperialistic. It doesn't matter that in all the overseas wars we've fought, the only land we've ever asked for is enough to bury our dead soldiers. We're imperialistic.

Oh, how great it would be to have a leader who would go out in public and say something nice about us. Ahh, to dream....

Instead, he's out there assuring everyone that he envisions a world with no nuclear weapons. Well, maybe everybody can have their own personal leprechaun, too, Mr. Obama! This point of view does not make me a war mongerer - it makes me realistic. Let's look at the statement - a world without nuclear weapons. Okay, so we destroy all the nukes out there - at least all the ones we know of. What next? We go on about our merry way and live happily ever after? See, the trouble is, that this plan requires a belief that all people are inherently good.

Notice, I did not say it requires a belief in the inherent goodness of people. I used a very specific word: ALL. I, personally, DO believe in the inherent goodness of people, but I am in no way under the illusion that that means ALL people are inherently good. There are madmen out there - angry, jealous, egotistical sociopaths who will never follow our rules, who will never succumb to the wishes - or demands - of others, who would stop at nothing to kill us. Are we supposed to believe, as our President seems to, that by being nice to these people..by repenting and changing our terrible ways..that they're going to want to shake hands and let bygones be bygones? Hmmm. Considering Muslim extremists have been attacking non-Muslims since before the United States even existed, I'm going to say that's probably not going to happen.

And, in the meantime, while we're looking at completely disarming, let's make sure we alienate all our closest allies so that when we have to defend ourselves, when we are struggling in a time of need, they all turn to us and give us the big, collective middle finger.

I feel this country is on a terrible path. There is nothing wrong with diplomacy. But the more we propogate the belief that we are bad people, the more encouraged and empowered our enemies become. As I write this, despite all the pandering that's been done to some of the worst regimes in the world, arrests are being made of people involved in a plot to bomb facilities in the United States. How's that nicey-nice working for you now? Of course, it won't be long before the internet is filled with people who say that the people arrested were too stupid to be Al-Qaeda operatives and were obviously patsies for the U.S. Government which is still somehow being secretly led by George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that those people are six cents short of a dollar.

This madness needs to stop. We need to be PROUD to be Americans as Mr. Greenwood's song so rightly declares. We need to get rid of this guilt that's so typical of liberals, and stand up for ourselves. We don't have to strongarm the world...but we can't be sorry for our power or success.

We are not perfect. We have had our high points and our low points. But there is one thing I know for sure - we are the greatest force of good this world has ever seen. We will defend ourselves to our dying day because we are PROUD to be Americans and nobody will ever make me feel otherwise.

No matter what his teleprompter makes him say to convince me.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). Visit www.jebraun.com for more details.

Should We Do Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe or One Potato, Two Potato?

2009-09-23T08:27:00.004-04:00

While President Obama is doing the Sunday morning and late night talk show circuit here in the States, hawking his healthcare plan, there seems to be a war going on in Afghanistan. No, seriously, you may have heard about it if you were paying close attention. I kid you not. I think you can Google it.

Now, I'm going to be right up front about this. George W. Bush screwed up this war by ignoring it to accomplish his mission in Iraq (this blog is not being written to debate the rights or wrongs of the Iraq war, so if you'd like to comment about that, there's plenty of other places on the internet to do so). Now, here's where Obama comes into the mess:

Obama campaigned on the very notion that Iraq was a war of choice, but Afghanistan was a war of necessity. He blamed Bush for letting us flounder in Afghanistan and insisted that he would come in with decisive action and do what was necessary to win this war.

There's a big problem with that, though. When has Obama ever taken decisive action?

As a Senator, the vast majority of votes for which he was in attendance, he voted "Present" - not yes, not no. As a candidate, his entire campaign was run on vagueries and platitudes. Change? What is change? As a President, he didn't author, or even co-author, the stimulus package, the omnibus bill, cap and trade, or the healthcare bills - his largest issues to-date. Instead, he said to his czars and Congress, "Here, write something and I'll back it." You can never pin the man down. Public option is a must. But, we don't have to have a public option. But I fully support a public option and insist there be one.

Huh?

Maybe he not only doesn't want to be pegged down, maybe he doesn't need to be pegged down. I mean, is he really the guy running things in Washington? How could he be? I would imagine it would be difficult to perform your executive duties when all of your time is being spent in campaign mode...touring the country to do townhall meetings and make television appearances.

Now that he's President, he's kind of proven this point once again, in Afghanistan. Last month, General McChrystal issued a report stating that without a significant increase in troops by next year, the entire mission will end in failure. Pretty strong no-nonsense words.

The President's response? Well, you're going to have to wait.

Now, some will say, "That's fine! We don't want to be at war anyway!"

And, to them, I say, "That's fine. Then pull the troops."

See, Mr. Obama, you put McChrystal in charge and he's told you what he needs. Now you need to make a decision. I know that's difficult, but the operation in Afghanistan cannot continue the way it's going. We cannot change a nation if we're not willing to commit the resources. So now, the options are: Change the strategy or do what McChrystal says. Either way, the longer you leave it the way it is, the longer our troops are in harm's way.

To complicate things further for a man who doesn't like to make decisions, changing strategy can involve pulling out of Afghanistan completely or changing our focus specifically to rooting out Al Qaaeda. Rumors seem to be popping up that the latter is the way the administration wants to go, but the question is, why is it still a question?

McChrystal's report has been out for a month. And, even if a month wasn't enough time, Obama was telling us 6 months ago that he had a strategy, yet he's failed to produce just what that strategy is.

So, to use the President's words, Let Me Be Clear: I am not criticizing which path the President chooses to take. Afghanistan is different than Iraq in the sense that we had put Iraq into such a situation that our early withdrawal could have led to civil war and widespread slaughter, and eventually a new tyrant taking control. With Afghanistan, we haven't changed much. If we pull out, I'm okay with that, but we'd need to leave some level of special forces behind to keep Al Qaeda from regaining a foothold. If we change our focus, that's also good. If McChrystal is confident that a surge can succeed and that's the way Obama goes, fine.

But make a decision. Stop asking for more time while leaving our troops dangling in the wind. Unfortunately, it seems it's more important for this administration to pass a massive energy tax and destroy our healthcare than it is to make sure our country and our troops are safe and secure.

Disappointed? Yes. Surprised? No.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

New Jersey and You: Flawed Together

2009-09-21T09:45:00.003-04:00

So, the Giants won week 2 last night at the Dallas Cowboys' debut of their new billion dollar stadium. All is right with the world.

At least that's what you think until you stumble upon something like McDowell Mountain Ranch Real Estate and realize, wow, there is a simpler world out there than the rat-race of the northeast. I mean, I could be an Arizona Cardinals fan, right?

Okay, not so much. And, yes, I'm sure it's a 'grass is always greener' scenario. Kind of like when I was thinking about moving to Florida. Sure it was great when we were there, but that's because I didn't have to work for the week. I got to spend as much time as I wanted with the family. I got to be lazy in the pool, or playing cards, or going out to eat.

That wouldn't be reality though - in Florida or Arizona. For one thing, I'd have to have a job and, knowing me, I'd be miserable living through a 70 or 80 degree Christmas. So, I guess I stay here, which isn't so bad. I want my kids to grow up knowing New York City, Philadelphia, the Jersey Shore, just like I did. Not to mention, of course, that the entire family is here.

It would just be nice if we didn't lead the country in taxes and corruption here in the good ol' Garden State. Seriously, I'm competitive, but, I could live without those two claims to fame. It would be nice if we had a gubernatorial candidate who was willing to share his ideas with the rest of us.

Disclaimer - I LOVE saying gubernatorial.

That's the problem with New Jersey. Most people who live here will tell you that they love living here, even the people who flee the state on a daily basis. They just can't afford to live here anymore. Homes and property that have been in families for generations are being sold at discount prices, families are being torn apart, long time friends are accepting the fact that they'll just have to remain Facebook friends as the exodus continues.

And yet, somehow, Governor Corzine is saying that we should re-elect him because he was the first Governor in the nation to have an economic disaster preparedness plan. He says he has given more property tax relief than any other Governor!

Well, I'll be Mr. Corzine that's amazing...but did you take into account all the Governors who didn't give relief because, um, well, they don't have to? Did you think about all the states whose tax collectors don't resemble the prison yard alpha-male? In other words, did you think that maybe you gave the most property tax relief (um...by the way, not to me or most people I know) because you have more of our money than any other Governor has of his or her constituents?

I'm starting to realize, Governor, just why you're refusing to debate Chris Christie. Every time you open your mouth something stupid comes out - something that proves just how out of touch you are with the rest of us.

Careful, Governor. Apparently the President told Governor Patterson across the river there not to run in the gubernatorial (heh-heh) race next year because his approval ratings are so low. I don't think yours are much better. I'm just waiting for you to get that call from your 'friend in the White House'. Meanwhile, I'd like to offer you some advice.

You don't mind, do you? No? Good.

Being as you told us that if we wanted a really low unemployment rate we could go to North Dakota, I would say the same works for you. I would be willing to bet that if you decided to permanently leave New Jersey and move to North Dakota, we'd give you really high approval ratings. Just a thought.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Come On Guys, Could You Vague This Up a Little For Us?

2009-09-18T08:54:00.005-04:00

It was just a few days ago when I said I regretted never learning how to play piano, and now I find myself online finding sites that will help me learn piano chords, how to improvise without sheet music, and how to properly flip your tuxedo tails before sitting on the bench. The last is trickier than it seems. Piano chords got nothing on tuxedo tails ettiquette.

The point is, I've taken steps to eliminate that regret - as I hope maybe some of you did after reading my blog, because I know how inspiring I can be. I mean, it's amazing just how humble I can remain despite my overwhelming aura of awesome, isn't it?

Yeah. Well, anyway, taking action is pretty important when you want to get something done, which is why, in his attempt to rebuild his image and gain re-election, NJ's current governor, Jon Corzine, has decided to do....nothing. That's right, despite the fact that many New Jerseyans think he has done nothing but loot our state over the past four years, Corzine has decided that the best tactic is to claim he's saved us economically (despite a 20% increase in people living in poverty, a 20% increase in those who can't even pay their utility bills, an unemployment rate at 9.7%, increase in property taxes every year of his term despite his increase in our sales tax that was supposed to offer property relief - oh, and on top of that, he ended our property tax rebate program). That's all he's got. It is now public that he has refused to appear in debates on NJ101.5 - the state's largest media outlet as well as the debate presented by the League of Women Voters which has become the tradition for candidates seeking high public office in our state.

None of that matters to Corzine because he's running on his own money and, since he's not accepting public funds, is not required to participate in any debates. Good for him. I mean, seriously, we wouldn't want him to have to get up there and answer questions, would we? We wouldn't want the NJ voter to have a sense of how Corzine defends what he's done or what he plans to do to get us out of our current economic mess, would we? No. Instead, we'd rather he hide in Drumthwackit (yes, that is the name of the Governor's mansion) and push a campaign about how, despite his track record of destroying our state, he's still not George W. Bush.

Great plan.

Maybe it's just that living with his multi-billion dollar bank account, he doesn't realize there's a problem. In fact, he's so flippant about the economy that he told New Jerseyans that if they want a really low unemployment rate, they should move to North Dakota. Nice one, Jon. Maybe that can be our state's next publicity campaign!

The Governor's campaign has been of NO substance to this point, on either side really. The moment it began, Corzine came out with ads attacking Republican candidate Chris Christie - ads which were largely proved false. Christie attacked back.

And that's all it's been. No discussion of the issues. Corzine just won't talk about them, but his track record tells a lot. Christie says what he plans to do, but refuses any details. The independents, well, they may be giving details, but their odds are so low that they may do nothing but play the spoiler in this race, unfortunately.

Corzine is relying solely on the short term memory of NJ residents, the history of NJ residents accepting the status quo, tons of his own money spent on smear campaigns, union voter turnout, and visits from high ranking Democrats. Obama came by once, but it didn't affect Corzine's polls. Now, Al Gore visits. Yay. Oh, and Bon Jovi played a concert once.

Come on. This campaign is as vague as they come. Where is the substance? If I don't start seeing something soon, I may find myself giving up searching for piano chords so I can learn to play the bugle. Then I can volunteer to play Taps at New Jersey's funeral.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Et Tu, Jimmy? Am I Racist? Maybe I Missed Something.

2009-09-16T08:36:00.004-04:00

I'm a racist.

In reality, I don't believe that to be true and neither would anybody who knows me on a personal basis, but according to Jimmy Carter, an irrelevant former US President widely considered to be one of the worst Presidents ever, I am a racist.

And he's just the most recent in a line of people using this tired argument. The race card gets played whenever liberals don't actually have an argument for something or when something isn't going their way. They figure it will distract from the facts or de-legitimize the opposition.

Maybe that worked when the Presidential campaign was heating up, but I think it's lost its luster. I mean, I have been called a racist so many times by people who, ironically, are judging me not by the content of my character, but by the color of my skin, that I almost don't even notice.

Here's the thing. Every single instance of my being called a racist has come as a result of me disagreeing with President Obama's policies. Never - NEVER - in my life have I ever been accused of racism or has it even been inferred that I am a racist, in any other situation.

That tells me something. It tells me that maybe I'm not racist. Maybe, just maybe, I don't agree with the President's agenda for philosophical, intellectual, or spiritual reasons.

Yet, out comes Jimmy Carter, right on the tail of Democrat Representative Hank Johnson of Georgia who claimed that if Joe Wilson is not punished for his outburst during President Obama's healthcare speech last week, people with "white hoods will ride through the countryside". He then went on to further compare Joe Wilson and the opposition to the current proposed healthcare legislation to the KKK (Wilson's outburst, though disrespectful, was not exactly inaccurate - the President had just finished saying that healthcare would not pay for illegal aliens, then, the day after the speech and outburst, amendments were made to ensure citizenship status was checked in order to become part of the program - amendments that had been proposed by Republicans and refused by Democrats before. If Joe Wilson was wrong, why amend the bill?).

The sad thing is I'm watching Conservative African Americans say, "How is it possible that I hate Barack Obama because he's black?" Or, are Carter and Johnson excluding them from their accusations, saying African Americans are capable of having an intelligent argument against healthcare but whites aren't? I mean, because that would sound, well, racist.

But of course, we learned with Sonia Sotomayor that it doesn't work that way. Regardless of the fact that there isn't an honest American who can say that if a white man said, "I believe that a white man will make a better decision than a Latina every time BECAUSE he's white" he wouldn't be fired from his job and crucified by the media, liberals said that Sotomayor saying the exact opposite, "A wise Latina will make a better decision than a white male every time because of the richness of her experience" is NOT racist.

I'm a white male. I forget sometimes that I'm not entitled to be discriminated against, libeled, slandered, offended.

So here's the liberal tactic - compare this:

CASE 1: President Obama states that even though he doesn't have the facts in the Professor Gates case, racial profiling is a problem and the police acted stupidly. So - he makes an assumption based not on fact, but on the color of the officer's skin - and then goes on to crucify an entire police department for it. In turn, Glenn Beck calls Obama a racist. Liberals get angry and organize a boycott Glenn Beck.

CASE 2: Former President Jimmy Carter and many other Democrats go on the airwaves to accuse 54% of the country (according to the latest polls of those opposed to the current healthcare reform bills) of being racist. That's hundreds of millions of Americans people. Liberals rally behind him and say he's correct.

Frankly it's disgusting. What's more disgusting is the silence from the White House. If Obama didn't agree with the Jimmy Carters and the Hank Johnsons of the world, if Obama truly was the great unifier he claimed to be, he would be denouncing the now-constant use of the race card. But apparently, that's not the case. His silence says, "Continue on. I agree."

The sad thing is that this is coming from the party who has repeatedly elected Senator Robert Byrd to office. In fact, Byrd has been the Dean of the Senate since 2003. Currently the oldest serving member of Congress, former Senate Leader for the Democrats, AND FOURTH in line for the Presidency, Robert Byrd is a former Exalted Cyclops for the KKK. Senator Byrd claims he didn't really have any interest in the Klan, but his personal writings show otherwise:

I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side... Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds. ”
— Robert C. Byrd, in a letter to Sen. Theodore Bilbo (D-MS), 1944,

and

"The Klan is needed today as never before and I am anxious to see its rebirth here in West Virginia and in every state in the nation."[

in a letter he wrote to the Grand Wizard.

Democrats, you have elected THIS man your leader on numerous occasions, you continue to elect him to Congress, and you have the nerve to call us racists because we have legitimate concerns with the President's proposed healthcare legislation?

I'd use the old pot and kettle saying, but I'm afraid I'd be called a racist.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

The Obama Administration - Maybe It's All A Bad Dream

2009-09-15T09:11:00.005-04:00

So, last night I have this dream that I'm wandering Chicago in my 2005 Toyota Camry, searching for a Chicago auto repair shop. It seems my water pump is bad. Now, there are a number of strange things about this story that make me realize it's a dream.

1) I didn't know a car has a water pump.
2) I don't have a Toyota Camry, let alone a very specific 2005 model.
3) I don't live anywhere near Chicago.

So, in my dream, I try to figure out what the hell is going on.

And then it hits me.

Chicago represents Barack Obama - obviously. The Toyota Camry alludes to foreign trade and the fact that Obama just decided to impose a 40% tariff on Chinese tires to appease the Steelworkers' Union, which will, in-turn, cause China to raise tariffs on things that they import from us like chicken and auto parts and, in the end, cause everybody to have to pay more, but hey, at least he kept his union buddies happy once again - at the expense of the rest of the country - again.

The water pump represents the fact that I really have to pee.

So, I woke from the dream - thank goodness, but the ensuing feeling of relief was purely physical, since the rest of the metaphor was still troubling. Here is a man in charge of our country that is making international trade and foreign policy decisions based on political pay-offs rather than for the economic welfare and security of our nation.

Aren't you glad you don't worry about these things in the middle of the night?

I have yet to hear anybody, but the administration and the union defend this move. And why was it done practically in the middle of the night? Obama was fulfilling a campaign promise to "crack down" on unfair trading policies and trying to help bolster the American tire industry. You know how you can help bolster the American tire industry? Stop bogging them down with taxes that make them unable to compete in the world market. This administration is so bent on doling out punishment that they refuse to look at root causes and deal with the actual problem.

I learned this lesson in my job as a health and safety director: if there is an accident, I can punish the person involved, which does little to nothing, or I can do an investigation, get to the root cause of the problem, and make changes in order to prevent the accident from ever happening again. Which solution is the better solution is pretty obvious.

Now, we'll face higher tire prices so, most likely, people will wait longer to replace their tires, thereby increasing the number of safety issues on the road. All for what? To "protect American workers from unfair trade"? What unfair trade is that? That our tire companies feel they can survive as a business by buying Chinese tires? That, since they are already inhibited by high taxes, high insurance costs, high union wages, and so on, that they have to make money somewhere? I believe Rand called this the "Anti-Dog Eat Dog Rule" in Atlas Shrugged. It's scary how accurate that book is - almost as accurate as my dreams.

I mean, there really IS a water pump in a car.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

The Time Is Now. Will You Regret Not Being Involved?

2009-09-14T09:09:00.005-04:00

There are certain things I regret I never did. Looking through some piano sheet music the other day, I realized how much I regretted never taking up an instrument when I was young (this, by the way, is not a regret that can be quelled by learning how to play Guitar Hero - trust me). Piano would have been my choice, I think, because I'm always very impressed with somebody who really knows how to play. And it's versatile;p you can find free piano sheet music online for just about any type of music.

That is a lifelong endeavor on which I missed out. This weekend, I missed out on a once in a lifetime opportunity - to be part of a national movement to protest irresponsible spending in our government. This was a chance to join tens of thousand of people as they marched on the capitol, exercising their basic American rights and expressing the discontent and fears of "We the People." Though this movement has been denounced by the left (though there are many Democrats joining the movement), despite the fact that they call us extremists, nazis, political terrorists, racists, and the like, despite the administration's attempt to ridicule anyone involved, I believe this movement is the start of something big. People in this country are beginning to wake up and see that the government treats them not as constituents that need to be represented, but as a mass of intellectually inferior servants that can be ripped-off, lied to, and manipulated in order to continue to concentrate power in the hands of corrupt politicians - and I'm from New Jersey - nobody, with the exception of maybe Chicago, knows corrupt politicans like New Jersey.

This past Saturday, tens of thousands of people filled the mall in D.C. This was such a great moment in American history because people were doing what people have been doing since we were colonies of England: making their voices heard. It was so great, in fact, that the President decided - to be elsewhere. Obama didn't even see fit to be in town when tens of thousands of Americans stopped by to let him know how they feel. But hey, he still got a front page quote in my local Sunday paper from his "Town Hall" - a quote that said nothing we haven't heard him say a dozen times before. Meanwhile, tens of thousands of Americans marching on the capitol? A 9 paragraph mention on page 27. But don't worry, in case you missed any of his two dozen speeches, his appearance on Sunday Night Football last night, or his 60 minutes interview, he is speaking to Wall Street today and will be on Jay Leno tonight. Yay.

Remember when you were a child and you got a new toy for Christmas or your birthday, how you'd play with it CONSTANTLY for days or weeks until the novelty wore off? That's how I feel with Obama. I feel like he was given the airwaves as a gift at his inauguration and he's just using them non-stop. Unfortunately, I'm not sure he'll ever tire of seeing himself on TV. As long as the media continues to pander to him, the novelty will never wear off.

So Saturday, we continued in the traditions of our founding fathers. In fact, I'm currently reading a book called "Patriots" - the story of our founding fathers and the American Revolution. The more I read, the more I realize that many people in this country have forgotten, never knew, or don't care about the principles on which we were founded. It kills me when I read references to our founding fathers as "Liberals" and the British and Tories as "Conservatives." The thing is, this took place in a time when liberal meant less government, now it means total government. Back then, these brave men inspired citizens from all over without the luxury of the internet. Letters were written, speeches were made, protests were staged. Sure, some of the tactics they used wouldn't fly today - hanging people in effigy was common, as was destroying a man's home. In fact, our revolution probably would have never happened, if it had been born today, because dressing up like American Indians would be politically incorrect and communications could easily be tracked to their source because computers never forget.

Back then, rallies like Saturday's would have had citizens in an uproar, clamoring for more action. Instead, it goes largely ignored by the media and our complacency continues. Who's got time to care about the well being of our country when "So You Think You Can Dance" is on? How can we pay attention to government intrusion into every aspect of our lives when Michael Jackson was murdered? I don't know who Joe Wilson is or care why he called the President a liar, but, man, did you see Serena Williams flip out at her tournament?

Our founding fathers believed that America was a great land that offered endless opportunities to her people. They believed that we were strong enough and self-sufficient enough to be free. They believed that man had rights given to them by God - and that since the rights were not given to them by man or government, they could not be taken away by man or government. They believed that England had no right to impose taxes on them because they were not allowed representation in Parliament. The more the patriots pushed, the more England pushed back. Rather than hear the voice of the people, England stubbornly stood its ground and began to send in troops. With each arriving brigade to Boston - where a good portion of this began, people like Samuel Adams, John Adams, and John Hancock stirred the pot more. We would not be oppressed. They joined forces with other great men like Thomas Jefferson and Thomas Paine. People like Paul Revere demonstrated time and again their bravery.

And England continued to mock, continued to believe this was just a group of rabble-rousers who would fall into line. They believed the mere sight of troops would cause these so called Patriots..these Sons of Liberty...to quake in their boots. A little show of force would restore order.

But it didn't. Because the American desire for freedom was great even then...maybe more so then than it is now. They burnt ships, threw tea into Boston Harbor, developed a Colonial government as a slap in the face to the King. They gathered militia, stockpiled ammunition, and called on heroes like George Washington who had become famous during the French-Indian War. The American spirit was born and now - approaching 250 years later (many of the precursors to the Revolution were happening as early as the 1760s), the American spirit seems to have gone into a slumber. We've resorted to turning our lives over to government - to depending on them for everything - to thinking that they are our savior, rather than depending on the creativity, genius, and perseverence of man. Rather than doing for ourselves, we want the government to do for us. And in order for that to happen, government must take from others, but that doesn't bother us, as long as we're getting what we're owed, right?

Well, the American Spirit has been roused. She is shaking off the alluring grip of slumber and rubbing the crust from the corners of her eyes. With one great stretch, she will finally awaken, see what has occurred during her hibernation and begin to shrug off the parasites that began to feed off her while she was unconscious.

Stumbling across pictures of Saturday's protest is a lot more powerful than finding that piano sheet music online. It is a reminder of what we are, or at least what we should be. It is a reminder that though we've missed opportunities, we must not miss them again. We only get this shot at freedom once. If we let it be taken away, recovering it can be impossible. Stand up for your liberties and give the American Spirit the strength she needs to burn in our hearts once again.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11, but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through Post-Traumatic Stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org) For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Keeping Their Memories Alive: Aleksandr Ivantsov and Matthew Picerno (R.I.P. 9/11/2001)

2009-09-09T22:58:00.010-04:00

As part of Project 2,996, I have the distinct honor, today, of remembering two people who share little more than two things in common: that they worked for Cantor Fitzgerald and that they never made it out of the towers on September 11, 2001. Those men are Aleksandr Ivantsov and Matthew Picerno; their lives may have ended in an instant, but so many more - the lives of those that loved them - will forever seem incomplete.

Their place of employment and their untimely demise, however, are where the similarities end. In doing research for this memorial, I struggled to find anything written about Aleksandr. Eventually, I came across a New York Times article that seemed to explain why.

Aleksandr Ivantsov, just 23 when he died, had come to New York from Russia only a couple of years before the attacks. He came on his own, and eventually saved enough to bring over Anna - the woman that would become his wife one year before becoming a widow. In those early days, he spent all his money just to call her and hear her voice. When she arrived, they were all each other had in America - and that was all they needed. Young, independent, and full of life, they loved to go out dancing until they were exhausted. Aleksandr's email address speaks volumes about him: it was a Russian nickname that simply meant "a very nice person".

It took fifteen months after the attacks for Anna to speak about Aleksandr publicly. That could be because even in October of 2002, she still held onto the hopes of a miracle. Unfortunately for her and Aleksandr, that miracle never came. That uncertainty, that clinging to every last shred of hope you could, was a common thread among many 9/11 victims' loved ones. The suffering dragged on because of the doubt, the lack of closure that comes with having answers, or even just being able to have a viewing. The hopes are long gone now, for Anna, but the memories of the good times with Aleksandr are most likely vivid and will remain that way for a lifetime.

On the opposite end of the spectrum was Howell, NJ resident Matthew Picerno. Information about him abounded. In stark contrast to the bare, comment-free online memorials to Aleksandr, Matthew's online memorials contained comments posted as recently as July of this year. Friends and family posted to let the world know how much they love and miss Matthew. He was surrounded by people who cared for him.

Matthew may have worked for Cantor Fitzgerald, but his passion - perhaps second only to his wife and three children - was wine-making. At the age of 44 when he passed, Matthew was not quite ready to retire from Cantor Fitzgerald, but he had already begun preparing for that by pursuing his dream and setting up a wine making school with his wife, Petrina, in Jersey City called "The Bacchus School of Wine".

This ambition was not unusual, though. Matthew began his working career as a longshoreman in Bayonne, where he put himself through college, got an Associate's Degree, took his bond trader's test, and began pursuing work in finance. It wasn't long before he was working his way up the ranks of Wall Street. Yet, always, in the back of his mind was winemaking. He was fortunate enough to be able to share this hobby with many people at the school and those people also fondly remember him on the online memorials.

He was a devoted, involved husband and father who loved to ski with the family and coach his children's sports teams. As I read through the various articles and comments written about Matthew, I knew one thing: as a father, I hope that when my time comes, people remember me as lovingly as they remember Matthew.

Tomorrow marks the eighth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Please take the time to pause tomorrow and think about those who lost their lives that day. 9/11 is, and always should be, a day of remembering. Keep the families and loved ones of Aleksandr, Matthew, and the 2,994 others in your prayers, because no matter how strong a sense of loss we feel as a country, it can only pale in comparison to what those that were left behind feel.

9/11: May we never forget.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Obama Giving a Speech on 9/9/09? No Way!

2009-09-09T08:08:00.006-04:00

Holy crap, it's 9/9/09! Do you know what that means? Absolutely nothing really.

I'm kidding!!

Seriously, how often do numbers line up like that?? Every year for the first 12 years of a century? Oh. But..well, these are NINES! How cool???

NINES! Three of them!! Isn't that..wait a second..ten years ago today, we lived through 9/9/99. FOUR nines. (Five if you want to say 1999, but then that pesky 1 gets in there).

We only have 3 nines today.

The whole experience has just been cheapened. It's like buying the Gillette Mach3 Turbo when you could have gotten the Gillette Fusion.

What a rip-off.

Well, regardless, the day isn't a total loss because on my way to work I saw a man running for a bus. That, in itself, wasn't exactly funny, but he was wearing white pants, a peach colored shirt, and a light white coat over it with the sleeves rolled up (so light, in fact, it could have been an unbuttoned shirt). If you don't immediately picture Don Johnson circa Miami Vice, you cannot claim to have lived through the 80s. I wanted to hit him with my car (this man, not Don Johnson), grab him while he was stunned, stuff him into the trunk and sell him to a museum.

But that didn't turn out so well last time I did that, so I refrained. Now he roams the streets, wreaking God knows what havoc. I hope you're happy. Next time you want to get on your self-righteous high horse about not "hitting people with your car" or "kidnapping them" and "selling them on the black market", think about all the innocent people that could have been saved today by getting retro-Don off the streets.

I've said my piece on that. Now, I wash my hands of it.

And....

Prepare for another Obama speech.

And there was much rejoicing.

Look, let's save you some time. Sure he says there will be specifics tonight and maybe there will be, but they'll take about 2-3 minutes. The rest will be the following.

"My fellow Americans, etc. etc."
Stand and applause from Democrats. Republicans play Sudoku.
"I didn't create this mess, I inherited it. George W. Bush also broke up the Beatles."
Applause from Democrats. Yoko Ono appears out of nowhere and sings a scary song. Republicans close their eyes and imagine Sarah Palin singing "Proud to be an American" instead.
"Sad story. Sad story. Tug on heartstrings. Somebody doesn't have healthcare, but has lots of children and now their all DEAD. D-E-A-D. And it's YOUR fault for being so damn selfish with your money."
Democrats stand and applaud. Republicans play football with pieces of paper folded into little triangles.
"We WILL have a public option, but the government doesn't want to run anything - we just refuse to remove ourselves from it no matter what. There are NO death panels in this healthcare bill and never were, but even so, we removed them. The truth is, the death panels were already passed in the stimulus bill. Damn, did I just say that out loud?"
Democrats do the wave. Republicans pull chairs out from under them before they sit back down. Hilarity ensues. Arlen Specter unable to stand back up. Nobody on either side comes to his aid.
"Americans who oppose this plan, even though they support reform if it's done correctly, are Nazi, anti-American, political terrorist, racist, psychopaths as I and my colleagues have repeatedly said over the past few months. I just wanted to repeat it because the media only reports when somebody on the right uses one of those words."
A man breaks into the room and rushes the stage begging Obama for a home and a Mercedes (he is wearing white pants, a peach shirt, and a white coat with rolled up sleeves). Obama lays his hands upon the man's forehead, and says that the wish is granted because this man worked so hard to break into the room and beg for something he didn't earn. Suddenly, a successful small business owner somewhere in Wyoming is evicted from their home and forced to hand over the pink slip to their Mercedes.
"See, school children? This is how to be a fairer country."
Michelle Obama says she is proud of her country now for a second time in her entire adult life.
"But back to healthcare, me me me. I, I, I. Me, and then something about myself."
Insert 2-3 minutes of specifics here. Democrats applaud. Obama crowd surfs. Media later compares this to walking on water. Republicans return from White Castle run, ask what's going on.
"In the end, this is why you suck and I am great."

Now, I could be off a little bit here or there, but I think it's going to be pretty damn close. For instance, maybe the Republicans go to Taco Bell.

Anyway, perhaps Obama will also take a moment at the end to remind us all that Friday, 9/11 is a day of service, which is odd, because I thought it was a day to remember; a day to honor those who lost their lives on that date 8 years ago; a day to think about the families left behind and maybe spend some time with them if we know them. Thank you Mr. President. Sure, I'll serve - but on my own terms at an appropriate time.

In the meantime everybody, if you still decide to watch the speech, enjoy. And should the retro-Don rear his ugly head, may God have mercy on your souls.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

Back to School, Back to Politics

2009-09-08T09:08:00.003-04:00

As the furor goes on over Obama talking to kids in school, we return from Labor Day weekend and say good-bye to another summer (unofficially, of course). A lot has happened over the last week or so, the school speech not being the least significant among them. So what's the big deal?

Well, a bunch of Republicans are getting their panties in a bunch over the President speaking to school kids, saying he's going to indoctrinate them into his way of thinking, right? Well, kind of, but not completely (FYI - before any liberals go preaching from their soapbox about the extreme right-wing nut jobs, hop in your DeLorean and take a ride back to 1991 when the Democrat Majority in Congress held an investigation into George H.W. Bush's speech to schoolchildren which was just as benign as the released version of Obama's speech).

If you look at the speech that's been released to the public, as well as the suggested classwork, it all appears pretty benign - no politics, just encouragement to stay in school. If that's what it had been in the beginning, none of the uproar might have occurred. The problem was that the classwork originally included suggestions for writing which included writing a letter to themselves on how they could help the President. The idea that this President was even attempting to get children thinking about how they could help him advance his political agenda outraged many people, but it also, in many people's view, pointed out a fundamental flaw in Obama's grasp of his role in America: that he's here to be served, not to serve.

Is this overblown? Probably to some extent. The speech and curriculum as released now, are tame and have no political overtones. Had that been the case of the first attempt, this could have been avoided. In fact, the speech wasn't even available before, so nobody knew WHAT the President would be saying and, therefore, assumed the worst. This points to another fundamental issue in America today: a vast number of people DO NOT TRUST our President. Given the opportunity to speak to our impressionable young children, many people believe he would try to indoctrinate him into his way of thinking (don't worry folks, they get plenty of liberal indoctrination as school goes on - an hour long speech isn't going to be the straw that broke the camel's back).

On top of all this, yet one more fundamental problem with our country surfaced: lazy parenting. If you, as a parent, believe that your child will sit through the speech of a President and be lost to you and your ideology, well, that's sad. Sure the President is a big, important figure, but you are your child's parent. You SHOULD be larger than life in their eyes. You should have plenty of time and opportunity, should the President make any political statements, to sit down with your child and discuss those statements - show your children what your beliefs are and why. I expect I'll be doing this often as the "Green" initiative is pushed in our schools. I'll spend countless hours explaining to my children why things like conservation, recycling, and alternative fuels are good, but how much of it is politicized and how I am not sold on the concept of man-made Global Warming.

Which, by the way, leads to something else that recently occurred: Van Jones, one of Obama's advisors on the environment, resigned after it became public that he had ties to Marxism and The 9/11 Truther Movement (for those of you unaware, the "Truther" movement contends that the U.S. Government was complicit in, if not directly responsible for, the 9/11 attacks). Now, first of all - do not post your conspiracy theories or arguments here, they will be deleted. If you want to know more about the Truther movement, there's plenty of information on the web. Many people will, however, defend Van Jones, saying he's a great guy, blah blah blah, but the problem is this: you can't accuse the U.S. Government of mass murder then wish to work for them. Do you think Disney, for instance, would hire somebody who publicly declared he believed Disney to be responsible for intentionally killing thousands? No. Not to mention, if you want to completely denounce the "Birther" conspiracy theorists as whack-jobs, you can't then harbor a conspiracy theorist in your employ.

What's just as disturbing is some audio from April of 2008 in which Van Jones declared that the civil rights movement had it correct by going after things piece by piece, otherwise - had they tried to achieve their whole agenda all at once - they would have failed. Okay, fine. Point taken. But it's what he says after that: that this is how the "Green" movement needs to operate. Let us all believe that all they want is some conservation, some pollution reduction. Then maybe we push for alternative fuels and cap and trade. Finally, the "Green" movement can dismantle "suicidal gray capitalism."

In other words, one of Obama's advisors wants to completely change the face of America.

Scary, but unfortunately not surprising from an administration that has put in tax cheats to run the IRS, and takes advice from a man who does not believe children become human beings until they are a few years old, or lets a man who wrote a book that claims that the elderly have no rights and can't be discriminated against with healthcare because they were once young, too, and had their chance, help author the healthcare bill.

This is the scary part about all these advisors and czars - nobody is checking up on them. Here we have a case where the President either did a horrible job vetting Van Jones, vetted him but made a terrible decision, or didn't vet him. The problem is, the answer is number 3. They chose not to vet him because they knew EXACTLY what they were getting. Van Jones was no stranger to this administration. All this appointment showed was that the administration either thinks we're stupid or too lazy to care who's running around the White House as an employee.

Again, the number of people with radical viewpoints that work in the White House are staggering, but in no way surprising for those of us who believed that people like Bill Ayers, Reverend Wright, and others were not just blips on the radar, but rather indications of who Obama is. He just continues to prove that point with each of these appointees that comes to light.

The summer has ended, but apparently, the fun has just begun.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.