Welcome to the second edition of F.R.A.U.D., recently re-named to stand for "Frequent Reminders About the Ultimate Douchebag". Now, for those of you who do not like my use of the term "douchebag", please be advised it was the tamest of the options I had come up with. Also, it began with a D. My first attempts resulted in F.R.A.U.F. and F.R.A.U.A. which were less than catchy.
Before I get started, I would also like to point out that tomorrow is Bastille Day. This served as a reminder that I have been blogging for over a year. I know this, because the last time Bastille Day rolled around, it resulted in a two-day tirade against the French (see Blog HERE and HERE).
By the way, I am not a complete jerk. I do feel a bit of remorse about those blogs. I mean, the French aren't so bad. I LOVE their fries.
Now, onto the namesake of this Blog: Jon Corzine.
The campaigning has begun and Corzine has wasted no time in turning up the heat on Chris Christie in two campaign ads. This is a smart move on Corzine's part (maybe the first time I've ever given him credit for a smart move), because it will take a lot of negative campaigning to get us to forget that he wanted to raise our tolls 800%.
800%!!!
This is what my friends, the French, like to call "un singe construire une bombe nucléaire" - it won't work and it will most likely blow up in your face (full disclosure: I'm not sure the French like to say that, or even if it is accurate French. It is, in fact, a made up phrase I threw into Google Translator which roughly translates to "monkeys building nuclear bombs").
Remember, not only would this have destroyed anybody who needed to commute in NJ (anybody out there that doesn't?), but it would have driven up the cost of every product we bought off the shelves as trucking companies had to make up for this increase. Oh, and this was supposed to begin happening around the time that gas was heading toward $4/gallon. If it wasn't for the protests organized by The Jersey Guys at NJ101.5, this might have slipped through unnoticed.
Now, Corzine's ads made two claims: 1) That newspapers called Christie's tax plan fiscally irresponsible and 2) That Christie would cut covered medical procedures including mammograms.
According to factcheck.org, these claims are 1) Flat-out not true and 2) Out of context.
BUT - don't look now, if making false assertions didn't convince you, more smoke and mirrors are on our way! President Barack Obama is coming to the Garden State!!
And there was much rejoicing.
Governor Corzine says that we have a partner in the White House in Barack Obama. So, does that mean if Corzine loses, we don't? Does that mean if Christie wins the election, we...what...won't get any favors from Washington? New Jersey will be persona non grata in D.C.? Is Corzine saying, "You don't like me, but Obama does! What I've done to the state is unimportant! The President likes me! He really, really likes me!"??
Indeed, Corzine did call Obama a close, personal friend. So close, in fact, that Corzine spent the entire Democratic primary stumping for....Hillary Clinton.
Through all the lies and deceit, we need to keep focused, New Jersey. We have less than 4 months until the election and Corzine needs to go. Then he can take a nice vacation in the south of France, where I hear they have excellent toast.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Follow Jim as he journey's through post-traumatic stress to attempt to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
We Are Free
Time magazine's Joan Grillo made a very important statement in an article on Honduras this week. She said, Honduran President Manuel Zelaya (who attempted to get the constitution changed to allow him to run for office again even after his government, courts, and military said no, and was subsequently exiled from the country) gained great popularity by following his friend Hugo Chavez's formula: "give handouts to the poor and blame Honduras' problems on the rich."
Let me repeat that. Hugo Chavez, MARXIST President of Venezuela who continues to attempt to change his country's constitution to allow him to remain "President" and who has requested broad special powers to enact legislation by decree (a move that has been at the beginning of most dictatorships throughout history), was the model for Zelaya in that he gave handouts to the poor and blamed the rich for his country's problems.
Does this sound familiar?
Exhibit A:
SCHIP - providing healthcare for children who can't afford it (oh, and for kids in families of 4 making 75k+ and families of 5 making 100k+, and their parents!)
Nationalized healthcare.
Stimulus pet projects.
Taxing the rich to give to the poor. The latest push is to bring the rate on the highest earners to 51%. I don't care what you earn, what can make the government taking MORE THAN HALF of what you EARN right??
Exhibit B:
Making the people of the U.S. believe that the current economic crisis was caused by a bunch of rich guys, while it was the government's push (both Republicans and Democrats) to loosen restrictions on lending in order for everybody to be able to buy a home that really was at the crux of the problem.
Making people believe that a company trying to make profits is evil (Obama even said of companies paying bonuses earlier this year, "There will be a time for them to make profits, and there will be time for them to get bonuses -- now is not that time."). Sure, I can see regulating bonuses when you just gave a company tons of money, but to say they shouldn't be making a PROFIT? He's demonizing a company for doing what they exist to do and for doing what was actually necessary to help the economy begin to turn around. In his eyes: Profit=BAD.
Meanwhile, they'd have you believe that every member of the Democrat party is poor like you and me, what with Joe Biden riding the train to work every day. They're just like you and me as Al Gore makes millions off his global warming farce, Pelosi jets around the country in her private plane, and Michelle Obama carries only a $900 purse, not the $6000 one the maker of the bag originally insisted it was. Only $900.
The fact is, through his policies, Obama is gaining the favor of the poor, which is not necessarily a bad thing, except when its done under false pretenses. The pretense is he does it because he cares. The truth seems to be, he does it to increase his base of power.
And it continues: Cap and Trade would make you poorer as it doubled your electricity bills, forced you to make renovations on your home, and taxed you in other ways. Nationalized healthcare will put more private industry out of business meaning more government jobs and fewer private sector jobs - more people dependent on the government. His policies seem to have special incentives to union members - taxing everybody's healthcare benefits as income except union members, for instance. Even stimulus money has gone to districts that supported Obama in the election at a 2:1 ratio over those districts that didn't support Obama. And whatever happened to the report that showed that of all the GM dealerships that were closed down, all but 1 had overwhelmingly contributed to Republicans?
And that's not all. Chavez, in order to maintain his popularity, has taken over all media outlets but one...and continues to fight to silence that one. Here, Obama stages his press conferences and invites reporters to a secret barbecue at the White House under the condition that nobody is allowed to write about it - then ushers one reporter into a pen to get a very restricted view of the party and provide a news story for all the outlets to pick up since they weren't allowed to write about it. Is that free media?
Well, if there is any free media left, it will surely be silenced with the Durbin Amendment so, don't you worry. Soon there will be no opposing voices.
See, the problem is, we always say, "It can't happen here." But, isn't that what everybody says until it happens to them? By denying that it is POSSIBLE that a leader is seeking to find ways to ensure indefinite power (if not to himself, to hand-picked successors), we go to sleep, setting perfect conditions for someone to sneak in the back door and do just that.
Maybe there WAS a reason Obama so graciously accepted that Anti-American book from Chavez and sat through Ortega's hour-long bashing of our great country. Maybe there's a reason Obama refuses to give America any credit in ending the Cold War when he speaks in Russia and spends his entire time apologizing to Europe and the Middle East. Maybe there was a reason Obama hasn't been tougher on North Korea or Iran and sat idly by while innocent protestors were slaughtered in the street. Maybe there's a reason why, though he insisted meddling in Iran's affairs was bad, it was only minutes after Zelaya was ousted that Obama came to publicly support his return.
You see, the first thing dictators usually do is re-write the country's history. Make people think you're worse than you are. Turn the public's opinion against everything that came before. In this case, make them forget all the medical and scientific breakthroughs that have come from America. Make them forget that it was Reagan's leadership that ended the Cold War. Make them forget that it was America's intervention into World War II that stopped the spread of Naziism. Even make them forget that despite our history of slavery, we've gone from the need for a Civil Rights Movement for African Americans in the 1960s to an African American being elected President in 2008! Make them believe that, as Michelle Obama put it, we are a "downright mean country."
Luckily, people seem to be waking up. Maybe it's all the money that's being spent by the government, or maybe it's the economy not turning around, or maybe people are tired with the media's love affair with the President, or maybe people are just starting to see through the charade. Regardless of the reasons, his poll numbers are starting to slip (even though CNN wouldn't show the negative numbers, just the 72% that still believe he is inspiring). Rasmussen's approval index hit an all time low yesterday of -5 (that's percent strongly approving to strongly disapproving). Approval ratings have slipped - in fact, in Ohio where unemployment has reached 10.5%, his approval ratings have dropped below 50% for the first time anywhere. Independents are steadily identifying themselves as Republicans or Conservatives and even liberals feel Obama is too liberal.
That's the beautiful thing about America. Try as you might, you can't keep her people down. I for one am PROUD of the American people and, frankly, have always been. We're not perfect. And in a country of 350 million, you're going to have some bad seeds, but when called on, we rise to the challenge. We don't need a government telling us how we can live, who we can donate to, what temperature we can set our thermostat at, what type of car we can drive, where they'd like to spend OUR money. We are free.
WE ARE FREE.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, see www.jebraun.com.
Let me repeat that. Hugo Chavez, MARXIST President of Venezuela who continues to attempt to change his country's constitution to allow him to remain "President" and who has requested broad special powers to enact legislation by decree (a move that has been at the beginning of most dictatorships throughout history), was the model for Zelaya in that he gave handouts to the poor and blamed the rich for his country's problems.
Does this sound familiar?
Exhibit A:
SCHIP - providing healthcare for children who can't afford it (oh, and for kids in families of 4 making 75k+ and families of 5 making 100k+, and their parents!)
Nationalized healthcare.
Stimulus pet projects.
Taxing the rich to give to the poor. The latest push is to bring the rate on the highest earners to 51%. I don't care what you earn, what can make the government taking MORE THAN HALF of what you EARN right??
Exhibit B:
Making the people of the U.S. believe that the current economic crisis was caused by a bunch of rich guys, while it was the government's push (both Republicans and Democrats) to loosen restrictions on lending in order for everybody to be able to buy a home that really was at the crux of the problem.
Making people believe that a company trying to make profits is evil (Obama even said of companies paying bonuses earlier this year, "There will be a time for them to make profits, and there will be time for them to get bonuses -- now is not that time."). Sure, I can see regulating bonuses when you just gave a company tons of money, but to say they shouldn't be making a PROFIT? He's demonizing a company for doing what they exist to do and for doing what was actually necessary to help the economy begin to turn around. In his eyes: Profit=BAD.
Meanwhile, they'd have you believe that every member of the Democrat party is poor like you and me, what with Joe Biden riding the train to work every day. They're just like you and me as Al Gore makes millions off his global warming farce, Pelosi jets around the country in her private plane, and Michelle Obama carries only a $900 purse, not the $6000 one the maker of the bag originally insisted it was. Only $900.
The fact is, through his policies, Obama is gaining the favor of the poor, which is not necessarily a bad thing, except when its done under false pretenses. The pretense is he does it because he cares. The truth seems to be, he does it to increase his base of power.
And it continues: Cap and Trade would make you poorer as it doubled your electricity bills, forced you to make renovations on your home, and taxed you in other ways. Nationalized healthcare will put more private industry out of business meaning more government jobs and fewer private sector jobs - more people dependent on the government. His policies seem to have special incentives to union members - taxing everybody's healthcare benefits as income except union members, for instance. Even stimulus money has gone to districts that supported Obama in the election at a 2:1 ratio over those districts that didn't support Obama. And whatever happened to the report that showed that of all the GM dealerships that were closed down, all but 1 had overwhelmingly contributed to Republicans?
And that's not all. Chavez, in order to maintain his popularity, has taken over all media outlets but one...and continues to fight to silence that one. Here, Obama stages his press conferences and invites reporters to a secret barbecue at the White House under the condition that nobody is allowed to write about it - then ushers one reporter into a pen to get a very restricted view of the party and provide a news story for all the outlets to pick up since they weren't allowed to write about it. Is that free media?
Well, if there is any free media left, it will surely be silenced with the Durbin Amendment so, don't you worry. Soon there will be no opposing voices.
See, the problem is, we always say, "It can't happen here." But, isn't that what everybody says until it happens to them? By denying that it is POSSIBLE that a leader is seeking to find ways to ensure indefinite power (if not to himself, to hand-picked successors), we go to sleep, setting perfect conditions for someone to sneak in the back door and do just that.
Maybe there WAS a reason Obama so graciously accepted that Anti-American book from Chavez and sat through Ortega's hour-long bashing of our great country. Maybe there's a reason Obama refuses to give America any credit in ending the Cold War when he speaks in Russia and spends his entire time apologizing to Europe and the Middle East. Maybe there was a reason Obama hasn't been tougher on North Korea or Iran and sat idly by while innocent protestors were slaughtered in the street. Maybe there's a reason why, though he insisted meddling in Iran's affairs was bad, it was only minutes after Zelaya was ousted that Obama came to publicly support his return.
You see, the first thing dictators usually do is re-write the country's history. Make people think you're worse than you are. Turn the public's opinion against everything that came before. In this case, make them forget all the medical and scientific breakthroughs that have come from America. Make them forget that it was Reagan's leadership that ended the Cold War. Make them forget that it was America's intervention into World War II that stopped the spread of Naziism. Even make them forget that despite our history of slavery, we've gone from the need for a Civil Rights Movement for African Americans in the 1960s to an African American being elected President in 2008! Make them believe that, as Michelle Obama put it, we are a "downright mean country."
Luckily, people seem to be waking up. Maybe it's all the money that's being spent by the government, or maybe it's the economy not turning around, or maybe people are tired with the media's love affair with the President, or maybe people are just starting to see through the charade. Regardless of the reasons, his poll numbers are starting to slip (even though CNN wouldn't show the negative numbers, just the 72% that still believe he is inspiring). Rasmussen's approval index hit an all time low yesterday of -5 (that's percent strongly approving to strongly disapproving). Approval ratings have slipped - in fact, in Ohio where unemployment has reached 10.5%, his approval ratings have dropped below 50% for the first time anywhere. Independents are steadily identifying themselves as Republicans or Conservatives and even liberals feel Obama is too liberal.
That's the beautiful thing about America. Try as you might, you can't keep her people down. I for one am PROUD of the American people and, frankly, have always been. We're not perfect. And in a country of 350 million, you're going to have some bad seeds, but when called on, we rise to the challenge. We don't need a government telling us how we can live, who we can donate to, what temperature we can set our thermostat at, what type of car we can drive, where they'd like to spend OUR money. We are free.
WE ARE FREE.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, see www.jebraun.com.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Really?? Did They REALLY Sugges ANOTHER Stimulus?
Is there anybody else who can't believe the words 'Second Stimulus' have been uttered by the government?
Let me pose a scenario to you:
You're a parent. One day, your child comes home and says, "Mom, Dad, I have this permission slip I need you to sign, but it's an emergency so I need it right NOW!"
You want to know more about the emergency and what, exactly, the permission slip says.
Child: There's no time for that! Just sign it. Look, if you don't sign it, I won't be getting home until 4:30am, so I need you to sign it now so I can get in before that.
You: How will this permission slip help that?
Child: We're not sure it will, but if you sign it, it's better than not signing it!
You:But it says something here about $100,000.
Child:Don't you understand, this is an emergency???? You're wasting time.
You:Okay, okay. Here!
Now, after reading that, do you think that was a good parenting technique? I hope you said no. That is exactly what we did with the stimulus bill. We didn't know if and how it would work. It needed to be done ASAP so unemployment wouldn't go over 8% (9.6% last I heard). We had no guarantees it would create a single job. We knew tons of money was going to pet projects of congressmen and women across the country, but we got bullied into passing the largest spending bill in history anyway.
Now they're telling us it didn't work and we need more. But, they're also telling us only 10% of it has been spent.
So which is it? Did it not work or did we not spend the money?
See, what is happening now is what I, and a lot of conservatives, said all along: you can't spend your way out of debt. It didn't work for Japan, it won't work for us. The money that HAS been spent has gone to close states' defecits and to short term projects like road paving. Why road paving?
Well, because there isn't a lot of environmental red tape to get through to repave a road. And we said this, too. Construction projects don't just happen overnight. Permits need to be acquired, environmental impact studies need to be performed, designs need to be developed, bids need to be put out. So even IF spending your way out of debt was a good idea, it did not take a brain surgeon to know that money wasn't going to hit the economy any time soon. The stimulus bill was nothing more than a way for Barack Obama to pay back a whole slew of campaign debts at once.
Now, the government wants more. $800 Billion just wasn't enough. That's why it didn't work! If it's a spending issue, don't you think they should spend the $800 billion BEFORE they say it wasn't enough?
Frankly, I think the whole bill should be scrapped, the money cancelled and tax cuts given. Your way didn't work. Let's try ours now.
The problem is that Obama and the Democrats seem to think there's only one solution to every problem: GOVERNMENT. I saw a great cartoon:
And this is how it is with everything they propose. No Cap and Trade?? What's wrong with you? We MUST do cap and trade! Only the government can stop (the farce that is) Global Warming! No, it doesn't matter that nobody has read the 1200 page bill and that we sneaked another 300 pages in at 3am. It doesn't matter that the bill says nobody can sell their home without approval from the US Government that it meets their Green standards. It doesn't matter that there are placeholders in the bill to add whatever we want later, we must do it now!!!! And Nancy Pelosi is giving out chocolate bars as bribes - THAT'S how important this is!
Healthcare! It MUST be a public option!! It doesn't matter that Congress won't even submit themselves to the same plan you will be forced to have, it's IMPORTANT! And only the Government can save us!
Automobiles!! GM is going to go bankrupt - the GOVERNMENT MUST step in now!! We must break the law and screw the secured bond holders out of what is legally theirs so that GM doesn't go bankrupt!! Oh, they're going to go bankrupt anyway?? That doesn't matter!!
When all is said and done, I'm just sick and tired of this 'shoot first, ask questions later' approach. I've said it before and I'll say it again: slow the hell down. All this rushing things through has gotten us nowhere except closer to a socialist state. Nowhere but almost broke.
Let's stop saying, "It may not be the RIGHT thing, but it's SOMEthing." That doesn't cut it. We need to start doing the right thing.
We need to be heard. Call your Congressman or woman and tell them that if they continue to spend your money this recklessly, they will be out of a job. They work for us - don't forget that and don't ever let THEM forget that.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.
Let me pose a scenario to you:
You're a parent. One day, your child comes home and says, "Mom, Dad, I have this permission slip I need you to sign, but it's an emergency so I need it right NOW!"
You want to know more about the emergency and what, exactly, the permission slip says.
Child: There's no time for that! Just sign it. Look, if you don't sign it, I won't be getting home until 4:30am, so I need you to sign it now so I can get in before that.
You: How will this permission slip help that?
Child: We're not sure it will, but if you sign it, it's better than not signing it!
You:But it says something here about $100,000.
Child:Don't you understand, this is an emergency???? You're wasting time.
You:Okay, okay. Here!
Now, after reading that, do you think that was a good parenting technique? I hope you said no. That is exactly what we did with the stimulus bill. We didn't know if and how it would work. It needed to be done ASAP so unemployment wouldn't go over 8% (9.6% last I heard). We had no guarantees it would create a single job. We knew tons of money was going to pet projects of congressmen and women across the country, but we got bullied into passing the largest spending bill in history anyway.
Now they're telling us it didn't work and we need more. But, they're also telling us only 10% of it has been spent.
So which is it? Did it not work or did we not spend the money?
See, what is happening now is what I, and a lot of conservatives, said all along: you can't spend your way out of debt. It didn't work for Japan, it won't work for us. The money that HAS been spent has gone to close states' defecits and to short term projects like road paving. Why road paving?
Well, because there isn't a lot of environmental red tape to get through to repave a road. And we said this, too. Construction projects don't just happen overnight. Permits need to be acquired, environmental impact studies need to be performed, designs need to be developed, bids need to be put out. So even IF spending your way out of debt was a good idea, it did not take a brain surgeon to know that money wasn't going to hit the economy any time soon. The stimulus bill was nothing more than a way for Barack Obama to pay back a whole slew of campaign debts at once.
Now, the government wants more. $800 Billion just wasn't enough. That's why it didn't work! If it's a spending issue, don't you think they should spend the $800 billion BEFORE they say it wasn't enough?
Frankly, I think the whole bill should be scrapped, the money cancelled and tax cuts given. Your way didn't work. Let's try ours now.
The problem is that Obama and the Democrats seem to think there's only one solution to every problem: GOVERNMENT. I saw a great cartoon:
And this is how it is with everything they propose. No Cap and Trade?? What's wrong with you? We MUST do cap and trade! Only the government can stop (the farce that is) Global Warming! No, it doesn't matter that nobody has read the 1200 page bill and that we sneaked another 300 pages in at 3am. It doesn't matter that the bill says nobody can sell their home without approval from the US Government that it meets their Green standards. It doesn't matter that there are placeholders in the bill to add whatever we want later, we must do it now!!!! And Nancy Pelosi is giving out chocolate bars as bribes - THAT'S how important this is!
Healthcare! It MUST be a public option!! It doesn't matter that Congress won't even submit themselves to the same plan you will be forced to have, it's IMPORTANT! And only the Government can save us!
Automobiles!! GM is going to go bankrupt - the GOVERNMENT MUST step in now!! We must break the law and screw the secured bond holders out of what is legally theirs so that GM doesn't go bankrupt!! Oh, they're going to go bankrupt anyway?? That doesn't matter!!
When all is said and done, I'm just sick and tired of this 'shoot first, ask questions later' approach. I've said it before and I'll say it again: slow the hell down. All this rushing things through has gotten us nowhere except closer to a socialist state. Nowhere but almost broke.
Let's stop saying, "It may not be the RIGHT thing, but it's SOMEthing." That doesn't cut it. We need to start doing the right thing.
We need to be heard. Call your Congressman or woman and tell them that if they continue to spend your money this recklessly, they will be out of a job. They work for us - don't forget that and don't ever let THEM forget that.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
More Reasons to Celebrate!
Don't blink or you will miss it, folks!
Shortly after noon today, it will be 12:34:56 7/8/9.
As one person online wrote, "This only happens once in history!"
Which is absolutely true...if history was only one hundred years long. In fact, it will actually happen 24 times today as it happens in each time zone (40 if you count the incremental non-standard time zones around the world), but that's really just a technicality.
Now, if I were you, and I'm not (except when I'm reading this blog, at which point I AM you, but that's not important right now), I would start preparing at lunch time. Make sure you have a good, comfortable seat, something to snack on, maybe some wine or a beer, and get two pieces of cardboard, one with a hole punched in it.
Then, watch closely, because at EXACTLY 12:34:56 7/8/9, I am willing to bet that absolutely NOTHING will happen.
Pretty cool, huh?
DISCLAIMER: Should the world end or should some other fairly large event like that occur at 12:34:56 7/8/9, the shred of doubt that still exists to my ability to CAUSE events to occur simply by my betting against them will be erased.
Now, if you miss it, don't go crazy. We have planned a series of encores for you, but you'll just have to wait for them. For instance, in 2012, we will see the 02:04:06 08/10/12 phenomenon. And in 2054, we have the 03:14:15 9/26/54 phenomenon (okay, if you knew that was the value of Pi, you're a dork - at least I had to look it up!).
You did, however, miss the 08:06:07 5/3/09.
Yes, I just reached all the way back to 1982 for a joke. Geez, cut me some slack.
If you still haven't gotten it, that's Jenny's number from the song by Tommy Tutone. Seriously, some days it's like pulling teeth with you guys.
Anyway, I just felt it was important to get this out to you so you didn't miss the festivities. People around the world will be gathering to celebrate this. There will be fireworks displays, live entertainment, and parades.
Granted, they will all be very, very short. Which is good because you don't have to take a lot of time out of your work day.
So, I'm off to get ready. We now return you to your regularly scheduled angry blog, which I'm sure will cover such heated topics as President Obama's stand on Honduras and a SECOND stimulus package (3rd if you count Bush's).
Enjoy 12:34:56 7/8/9 Day!
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.
Shortly after noon today, it will be 12:34:56 7/8/9.
As one person online wrote, "This only happens once in history!"
Which is absolutely true...if history was only one hundred years long. In fact, it will actually happen 24 times today as it happens in each time zone (40 if you count the incremental non-standard time zones around the world), but that's really just a technicality.
Now, if I were you, and I'm not (except when I'm reading this blog, at which point I AM you, but that's not important right now), I would start preparing at lunch time. Make sure you have a good, comfortable seat, something to snack on, maybe some wine or a beer, and get two pieces of cardboard, one with a hole punched in it.
Then, watch closely, because at EXACTLY 12:34:56 7/8/9, I am willing to bet that absolutely NOTHING will happen.
Pretty cool, huh?
DISCLAIMER: Should the world end or should some other fairly large event like that occur at 12:34:56 7/8/9, the shred of doubt that still exists to my ability to CAUSE events to occur simply by my betting against them will be erased.
Now, if you miss it, don't go crazy. We have planned a series of encores for you, but you'll just have to wait for them. For instance, in 2012, we will see the 02:04:06 08/10/12 phenomenon. And in 2054, we have the 03:14:15 9/26/54 phenomenon (okay, if you knew that was the value of Pi, you're a dork - at least I had to look it up!).
You did, however, miss the 08:06:07 5/3/09.
Yes, I just reached all the way back to 1982 for a joke. Geez, cut me some slack.
If you still haven't gotten it, that's Jenny's number from the song by Tommy Tutone. Seriously, some days it's like pulling teeth with you guys.
Anyway, I just felt it was important to get this out to you so you didn't miss the festivities. People around the world will be gathering to celebrate this. There will be fireworks displays, live entertainment, and parades.
Granted, they will all be very, very short. Which is good because you don't have to take a lot of time out of your work day.
So, I'm off to get ready. We now return you to your regularly scheduled angry blog, which I'm sure will cover such heated topics as President Obama's stand on Honduras and a SECOND stimulus package (3rd if you count Bush's).
Enjoy 12:34:56 7/8/9 Day!
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Michael Jackson Free Zone
I can't be the only one to notice that there is a large segment of the media that is hitting the Michael Jackson story from the "There is too much Michael Jackson coverage" angle, thereby providing more Michael Jackson coverage while looking like they are against it.
Ugh.
Let's just say that I refuse to give this whole Michael Jackson thing any further attention. That, really, is the only way to truly be against the whole issue of overexposure. Just ignore it.
Ignore the funeral. Ignore the memorial. Ignore the Michael Jackson tributes. Ignore the non-stop playing of his videos on television and the non-stop playing of his music on the radio.
Ignore the fact that The Wiz is going to be on 18 different channels this week. Ignore what they're going to do with his remains and who's going to care for his children. Frankly, it's all ridiculous and I wouldn't give it an inch of space in my blog.
Neverland can close down for all I care and I certainly could give a crap about who's going to take care of Bobo. Nope, hell will freeze over before I discuss any of this. I refuse to become a part of this pop culture phenomenon that is distracting from serious issues in this country.
Therefore, I will not discuss Reverend Al wanting to make today a national day of mourning, or whether never being convicted of pedophilia means he was not a pedophile. I will not watch the news magazines constantly showing people doing the moonwalk or having their correspondent's wear a sequinned glove.
No Michael Jackson talk.
Period.
Uh....um...
Damn.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.
Ugh.
Let's just say that I refuse to give this whole Michael Jackson thing any further attention. That, really, is the only way to truly be against the whole issue of overexposure. Just ignore it.
Ignore the funeral. Ignore the memorial. Ignore the Michael Jackson tributes. Ignore the non-stop playing of his videos on television and the non-stop playing of his music on the radio.
Ignore the fact that The Wiz is going to be on 18 different channels this week. Ignore what they're going to do with his remains and who's going to care for his children. Frankly, it's all ridiculous and I wouldn't give it an inch of space in my blog.
Neverland can close down for all I care and I certainly could give a crap about who's going to take care of Bobo. Nope, hell will freeze over before I discuss any of this. I refuse to become a part of this pop culture phenomenon that is distracting from serious issues in this country.
Therefore, I will not discuss Reverend Al wanting to make today a national day of mourning, or whether never being convicted of pedophilia means he was not a pedophile. I will not watch the news magazines constantly showing people doing the moonwalk or having their correspondent's wear a sequinned glove.
No Michael Jackson talk.
Period.
Uh....um...
Damn.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.
Monday, July 6, 2009
This Is Why I Don't Usually Tell People About My Dreams...
Last night, I had a terrible nightmare.
No, not the recurring nightmare I have that McDonald's publicly announces that they're discontinuing the McRib (though, that one is horrifying), but a truly stomach-turning, tear inducing, when-will-this-night-end kind of nightmare.
Last night, I had a terrible, terrible nightmare that we lost our daughter..and by lost, I don't mean we couldn't find her, but I still can't bring myself to say what happened. Let me explain:
My wife and I (and apparently my daughter, though I didn't realize until later in the dream), were on a big pirate ship in a large pool that belonged to President Obama (okay, I know this sounds ridiculous already, but I'm just telling you what happened...). I noticed a large wave coming from the middle of the pool and realized this pool was about to be drained. I started screaming for everybody to get off the ship and I jumped to what turned out to be a really, really large ledge, like the one by the back window of a car behind the back seats. I took my wife's hand just as all the water and the ship flushed down into this huge drain. Everybody who was on that ship was dead.
I was shocked by the experience (wouldn't you be?) and, of course, angry at the President (there's a shocker), but I returned to work where people were surprisingly insensitive. There were two other people at work who had lost children on that ship and everybody was cracking jokes. It was at that point that I realized I had lost my daughter. I began screaming at everyone, asking what was wrong with them, how could they be so insensitive. Every ounce of my being was sated with despair. I was barely able to breathe through the sobs and I prayed that it was all a mistake, that I would just wake up.
And I did. Thank God.
I immediately rushed to my daughter's room and just held her for a few minutes, then went to my son and did the same, realizing the crippling experience parents go through when they really do lose a child. Unfortunately for them, they cannot wake up from it as I did.
I began to think about the vacation we just took to Hershey Park. While there, my wife noticed a father and daughter sitting on a ride together. By 'together' I mean they were sharing a car, but they were sitting on opposite sides of the car looking away from each other. The girl was maybe 4 years old. The father looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but there.
In contrast, when my brother and I rode the rides with our children, we buckled up and pulled the kids tight to us. We smiled in anticipation of the ride, then laughed with each other from start to finish. I could not imagine any place in the world I would have rather been at that point in time. What could have been so important to that man that he was upset about being there? Did he want to ride a different ride? Did he want some cotton candy? Did he want to sit on the inside of the cart?
Worse yet, how common must this attitude have been that the little girl wasn't even attempting to engage him?
It was sad.
There is nothing in this world more precious to me than my daughter Isabella and my son Caden. I always felt I was a pretty giving person, but I never truly understood the concept of being willing to lay down your life for someone until these children came into my life (which puts me in even more awe of our soldiers who do this on a daily basis for complete strangers).
I try to give my children every minute of time I can. I caught myself yesterday falling into the trap of, "In a minute, honey. Daddy's got to do this or finish that..." While mowing the lawn, my daughter asked me to come look at the castle she'd built in the sandbox. I told her she'd have to wait a bit. As she began to walk away, I stopped the mower, turned off the iPod and told her, "You know what? Let me see that castle now. I can't wait." Her eyes lit up and she sprinted back to me, grabbed my hand and pulled me to the sandbox. Taking that two minutes of my time made her SO happy and what did it cost me? Nothing. In fact, it made me feel great, too.
The first thing I did at work today was pin up a picture she made for me yesterday and now I'm counting the minutes until I can go home and play with her and Caden. I feel so sorry for those people who never get to feel the unconditional love of a child, or worse, who are given that love but squander it.
All in all, everything turned out great. The McRib will still have its limited runs and my daughter is safe and sound. I would, however, avoid any pirate ships owned by Barack Obama.
Better safe than sorry.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, please visit www.jebraun.com.
No, not the recurring nightmare I have that McDonald's publicly announces that they're discontinuing the McRib (though, that one is horrifying), but a truly stomach-turning, tear inducing, when-will-this-night-end kind of nightmare.
Last night, I had a terrible, terrible nightmare that we lost our daughter..and by lost, I don't mean we couldn't find her, but I still can't bring myself to say what happened. Let me explain:
My wife and I (and apparently my daughter, though I didn't realize until later in the dream), were on a big pirate ship in a large pool that belonged to President Obama (okay, I know this sounds ridiculous already, but I'm just telling you what happened...). I noticed a large wave coming from the middle of the pool and realized this pool was about to be drained. I started screaming for everybody to get off the ship and I jumped to what turned out to be a really, really large ledge, like the one by the back window of a car behind the back seats. I took my wife's hand just as all the water and the ship flushed down into this huge drain. Everybody who was on that ship was dead.
I was shocked by the experience (wouldn't you be?) and, of course, angry at the President (there's a shocker), but I returned to work where people were surprisingly insensitive. There were two other people at work who had lost children on that ship and everybody was cracking jokes. It was at that point that I realized I had lost my daughter. I began screaming at everyone, asking what was wrong with them, how could they be so insensitive. Every ounce of my being was sated with despair. I was barely able to breathe through the sobs and I prayed that it was all a mistake, that I would just wake up.
And I did. Thank God.
I immediately rushed to my daughter's room and just held her for a few minutes, then went to my son and did the same, realizing the crippling experience parents go through when they really do lose a child. Unfortunately for them, they cannot wake up from it as I did.
I began to think about the vacation we just took to Hershey Park. While there, my wife noticed a father and daughter sitting on a ride together. By 'together' I mean they were sharing a car, but they were sitting on opposite sides of the car looking away from each other. The girl was maybe 4 years old. The father looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but there.
In contrast, when my brother and I rode the rides with our children, we buckled up and pulled the kids tight to us. We smiled in anticipation of the ride, then laughed with each other from start to finish. I could not imagine any place in the world I would have rather been at that point in time. What could have been so important to that man that he was upset about being there? Did he want to ride a different ride? Did he want some cotton candy? Did he want to sit on the inside of the cart?
Worse yet, how common must this attitude have been that the little girl wasn't even attempting to engage him?
It was sad.
There is nothing in this world more precious to me than my daughter Isabella and my son Caden. I always felt I was a pretty giving person, but I never truly understood the concept of being willing to lay down your life for someone until these children came into my life (which puts me in even more awe of our soldiers who do this on a daily basis for complete strangers).
I try to give my children every minute of time I can. I caught myself yesterday falling into the trap of, "In a minute, honey. Daddy's got to do this or finish that..." While mowing the lawn, my daughter asked me to come look at the castle she'd built in the sandbox. I told her she'd have to wait a bit. As she began to walk away, I stopped the mower, turned off the iPod and told her, "You know what? Let me see that castle now. I can't wait." Her eyes lit up and she sprinted back to me, grabbed my hand and pulled me to the sandbox. Taking that two minutes of my time made her SO happy and what did it cost me? Nothing. In fact, it made me feel great, too.
The first thing I did at work today was pin up a picture she made for me yesterday and now I'm counting the minutes until I can go home and play with her and Caden. I feel so sorry for those people who never get to feel the unconditional love of a child, or worse, who are given that love but squander it.
All in all, everything turned out great. The McRib will still have its limited runs and my daughter is safe and sound. I would, however, avoid any pirate ships owned by Barack Obama.
Better safe than sorry.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, please visit www.jebraun.com.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Why the 4th of July Feels Empty This Year
Yesterday, I wrote a fairly long blog about why we celebrate Independence Day. I figured it would be my final blog of the week, but when I finished, something didn't feel right. It's sitting in my draft folder now, unused.
It took me some time to figure out just what it was that I wasn't comfortable with. I'd written patriotic blogs before, thanking our veterans and extolling the virtues of the good ol' USA, so why wasn't I comfortable with this blog?
The answer came to me last night when I was watching the township fireworks display with my family. For the first time in my life, I felt the holiday was about the fireworks and the barbecue, and nothing else. It felt...empty.
Don't get me wrong. I thank God for what those rag tag armies and brave farmers did more than 200 years ago. I thank God for every soldier that has sacrificed - or even been willing to sacrifice - his or her life to allow me to write what I'm writing, to allow us to vote, to allow us to pursue the life we want to pursue. But there was this underlying feeling that soon, all that fighting, all those sacrifices were to be in vain.
Each day another liberty is taken from us. With every law that tells you you can't sell your home until a government inspector tells you it meets their GREEN standards (cap and trade), or you can only use so much electricity or be charged a fine, or that you MUST buy healthcare or be fined, or that you can only make so much money, or you can only drive a certain type of car, or you can only own a radio station if you're not presenting views that differ from the President's, we lose liberty. With every international treaty considered, we lose liberty (the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child would allow the courts to tell you how you are allowed to parent your child). With every bill that tells us we MUST volunteer and who we can and can't volunteer for, we lose liberty. With every czar that Obama appoints to make these things happen (we're currently at 28, I believe: TARP, Border, Intelligence, Terrorism, Energy, Urban Affairs, Weapons, Technology, AIDS, Great Lakes, Health, Stimulus Accountability, Faith-based, Pay, Guantanamo Closure, Sudan, Afghanistan, Science, Jobs, Drug, Information, Mideast Peace, Car, Mideast Policy, WMD, Climate, Regulatory, and Economic), we lose liberty. By the way, the new Regulatory Czar believes animals should have the right to sue a person in court - animals should get rights before unborn children do. I'm not a strict Pro-Lifer, but this concept of animals getting rights before unborn human children infuriates me.
The soldiers of the United States have fought and died to provide us a country where we can enjoy inalienable rights - the right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Inalienable means given to us by God, a higher being, or just by the very fact of our existence - depending on what it is you believe. Since no man or government has given us these rights, no man or government can take them away. Notice though, it says nowhere that I am guaranteed a home, an education, a car, healthcare, or a check from the government if I choose to do nothing with my life. I am guaranteed the PURSUIT - this means that I need to work to get the things I want. I have no RIGHT to them. And nowhere in the US Constitution does it guarantee us any of those things as man or government-given rights, nor does it give ANYONE the right to TAKE those things FROM me. But somewhere along the line, people came to believe that if somebody produced more than them, they deserved a cut. If somebody earned more than them, they deserved a cut. To me, Ayn Rand hit the nail on the head when she called these people looters. Where would these people be if the producers, the profit makers, went on strike as they do in Atlas Shrugged? They would continue to cannibalize each other until there was nothing left - until everybody was 100% dependent on the government.
And I believe this is the ultimate goal of this administration. Get more and more people dependent on government. The more people dependent on government, the longer the Democrats stay in power. Control industry, destroy the producers, get more people on the government payroll, get more people in unions, provide amnesty to illegal immigrants. Let no man be responsible for himself. Make each person a part of a group - black, gay, poor, immigrant, Hispanic, because as a part of one of these groups you serve as a base of power - realize your own individuality, realize that you can help yourself, and you no longer serve a purpose to them. So they will do whatever they can to keep you from helping yourself and disguise it as if it's for your own good.
So, on this Independence Day, I am praying that things turn around, because as it stands now, I fear we are headed in a terrible direction. The media is supposed to be the watchdog of the U.S. Government. They are supposed to inform the people of what is going on, but they've done little more than stump for Obama and publicly MOCK U.S. citizens for exercising their constitutional right to protest. Sure, some cracks are starting to form (Helen Thomas, who's been covering the White House for the Associated Press since Kennedy's Administration told White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs the other day that no administration has tried to control the media like the Obama Administration - not even Nixon's), but is it too little too late?
So, while I thank the brave men and women who have given us our freedom over the years, I apologize to them, as well, for allowing the government to even get to a point where the IDEA that those sacrifices could have been in vain is a reality. I feel we are on the verge of failing them. I feel we are on the verge of failing our children.
I pray there is time to set this right, but with Obama in the White House, a filibuster-proof House of Representatives, the Dems holding a Super Majority in the Senate, and a media that won't seem to question anything they do, I think we're going to continue to lose liberties. I'd say I can't wait until 2012, or even 2016, but if there isn't a backlash in the 2010 Congressional elections, I have a sinking feeling in 2016, we're going to see President Obama seeking a THIRD term in office and a whole lot of impoverished people dependent on the government dime.
Let freedom ring.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, see www.jebraun.com.
It took me some time to figure out just what it was that I wasn't comfortable with. I'd written patriotic blogs before, thanking our veterans and extolling the virtues of the good ol' USA, so why wasn't I comfortable with this blog?
The answer came to me last night when I was watching the township fireworks display with my family. For the first time in my life, I felt the holiday was about the fireworks and the barbecue, and nothing else. It felt...empty.
Don't get me wrong. I thank God for what those rag tag armies and brave farmers did more than 200 years ago. I thank God for every soldier that has sacrificed - or even been willing to sacrifice - his or her life to allow me to write what I'm writing, to allow us to vote, to allow us to pursue the life we want to pursue. But there was this underlying feeling that soon, all that fighting, all those sacrifices were to be in vain.
Each day another liberty is taken from us. With every law that tells you you can't sell your home until a government inspector tells you it meets their GREEN standards (cap and trade), or you can only use so much electricity or be charged a fine, or that you MUST buy healthcare or be fined, or that you can only make so much money, or you can only drive a certain type of car, or you can only own a radio station if you're not presenting views that differ from the President's, we lose liberty. With every international treaty considered, we lose liberty (the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child would allow the courts to tell you how you are allowed to parent your child). With every bill that tells us we MUST volunteer and who we can and can't volunteer for, we lose liberty. With every czar that Obama appoints to make these things happen (we're currently at 28, I believe: TARP, Border, Intelligence, Terrorism, Energy, Urban Affairs, Weapons, Technology, AIDS, Great Lakes, Health, Stimulus Accountability, Faith-based, Pay, Guantanamo Closure, Sudan, Afghanistan, Science, Jobs, Drug, Information, Mideast Peace, Car, Mideast Policy, WMD, Climate, Regulatory, and Economic), we lose liberty. By the way, the new Regulatory Czar believes animals should have the right to sue a person in court - animals should get rights before unborn children do. I'm not a strict Pro-Lifer, but this concept of animals getting rights before unborn human children infuriates me.
The soldiers of the United States have fought and died to provide us a country where we can enjoy inalienable rights - the right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Inalienable means given to us by God, a higher being, or just by the very fact of our existence - depending on what it is you believe. Since no man or government has given us these rights, no man or government can take them away. Notice though, it says nowhere that I am guaranteed a home, an education, a car, healthcare, or a check from the government if I choose to do nothing with my life. I am guaranteed the PURSUIT - this means that I need to work to get the things I want. I have no RIGHT to them. And nowhere in the US Constitution does it guarantee us any of those things as man or government-given rights, nor does it give ANYONE the right to TAKE those things FROM me. But somewhere along the line, people came to believe that if somebody produced more than them, they deserved a cut. If somebody earned more than them, they deserved a cut. To me, Ayn Rand hit the nail on the head when she called these people looters. Where would these people be if the producers, the profit makers, went on strike as they do in Atlas Shrugged? They would continue to cannibalize each other until there was nothing left - until everybody was 100% dependent on the government.
And I believe this is the ultimate goal of this administration. Get more and more people dependent on government. The more people dependent on government, the longer the Democrats stay in power. Control industry, destroy the producers, get more people on the government payroll, get more people in unions, provide amnesty to illegal immigrants. Let no man be responsible for himself. Make each person a part of a group - black, gay, poor, immigrant, Hispanic, because as a part of one of these groups you serve as a base of power - realize your own individuality, realize that you can help yourself, and you no longer serve a purpose to them. So they will do whatever they can to keep you from helping yourself and disguise it as if it's for your own good.
So, on this Independence Day, I am praying that things turn around, because as it stands now, I fear we are headed in a terrible direction. The media is supposed to be the watchdog of the U.S. Government. They are supposed to inform the people of what is going on, but they've done little more than stump for Obama and publicly MOCK U.S. citizens for exercising their constitutional right to protest. Sure, some cracks are starting to form (Helen Thomas, who's been covering the White House for the Associated Press since Kennedy's Administration told White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs the other day that no administration has tried to control the media like the Obama Administration - not even Nixon's), but is it too little too late?
So, while I thank the brave men and women who have given us our freedom over the years, I apologize to them, as well, for allowing the government to even get to a point where the IDEA that those sacrifices could have been in vain is a reality. I feel we are on the verge of failing them. I feel we are on the verge of failing our children.
I pray there is time to set this right, but with Obama in the White House, a filibuster-proof House of Representatives, the Dems holding a Super Majority in the Senate, and a media that won't seem to question anything they do, I think we're going to continue to lose liberties. I'd say I can't wait until 2012, or even 2016, but if there isn't a backlash in the 2010 Congressional elections, I have a sinking feeling in 2016, we're going to see President Obama seeking a THIRD term in office and a whole lot of impoverished people dependent on the government dime.
Let freedom ring.
J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, see www.jebraun.com.
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